Full Circle
by lalee9587
Summary: Life has changed drastically for Alex and Piper in the last year. They have Liam now and he has quickly become the center of their world. Things are still changing though. Obstacle keep popping up. Will it be too much for them or will they fight through it all again and come full circle?
1. Chapter 1

**Full Circle**

_**Chapter 1**_

"Babe, can you take him? I've got like, literally, five minutes and I have to leave." Alex called out to Piper

"Just put him in the swing, Al. I'm getting dressed." Piper replied

"He just ate. Dr. Hosford said…"

"I know what he said. I was there too. The swing adjusts. Sit him up more." Piper snapped, coming out of the bathroom.

Turning on her heels, Alex left the room with Liam still on her shoulder. Taking him into the living room, she put him in his swing and turned it on. Kissing him, she went back to the bedroom. "Pipes, I'm leaving" she said. Going up behind her, she kissed Piper on the shoulder. "I'll come back after my appointment and get Liam. We'll hang out at the gallery for the afternoon and you can rest. I know you're tired."

Letting out a long breath, Piper leaned into Alex. "I'm exhausted. I don't think he's slept a full hour in the last two weeks. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"No worries, Kid. You can be nice to me later." Alex winked at her, kissed her, and turned to leave.

Grabbing her phone, Piper typed out a text message:

"_She's leaving but coming back to get Liam later. Wait until you hear from me before coming over"_

_Response: Okay_

_/_

"Sign here, here and…here"

Alex signed on all the designated lines. It seemed like she'd been waiting on this day forever. In less than 30 minutes her probation would be over. No more check-ins, no more traveling to speak, no more drug tests (not that those happened very often)…no more restrictions. She would finally be free from her crimes. She could go and do anything she wanted. Legally of course.

Her PO left and came back a few minutes later with copies of all her paper work. Giving them to her, he shook her hand and told her he hoped he never had to see her again. "You won't" Alex smirked at him and left. Stepping out into the cold winter day, she took a deep cleansing breath and let it out slowly. Looking around, a smile inched its way across her face. "Freedom" she thought.

Checking the time, she decided that she had just enough time to stop for coffee. She was going to get her passport. It had been nine long years since she left the States and she couldn't wait to start traveling again. There were so many places she wanted to show Liam. Piper too when she really thought about it. Although Piper traveled with her for more than two years, she really just drug her from country to country rarely showing her more than a bar and a bed. She would fix that, she vowed.

Standing in line for coffee, she took a picture of herself giving a thumbs up and sent it to Piper.

_**A: **__I'm free baby! How's Little Man? And u?_

_**P:**__ Covered in shit from head to toe. Both of us. I'm so happy for you baby_

_**A: **__LOL-sry dnt mean 2 laugh been there. B home soon 2 get him_

_**P: **__K kisses_

_**A: **__muah _

Snagging her coffee and laughing to herself, she headed towards the door. A hand on her arm stopped her. Looking down at the hand, then up, she paled and then saw red. "Get your fucking hand off of me!"

/

After getting herself and Liam cleaned up, Piper put Liam on his tummy mat and went over her check list one more time. She was throwing Alex a surprise party. She'd worked so hard to turn everything around and stay clean. The first year was really hard on Alex and Piper held her breath the entire time waiting on her to relapse. She hadn't though. She had fought that demon bravely and Piper was incredibly proud of her. She deserved to be celebrated. Since having Liam, there hadn't been nearly enough getting together with their friends. What better way to bring everyone together than to celebrate Alex getting off probation.

The caterers would be there at four. Nicky and Lorna were handling the music. Polly would be over with decorations as soon as Alex came back for Liam. She was so relieved this morning when Alex offered to come back to get him. It would make getting everything ready so much easier. She might even be able to sneak a nap in somewhere today.

"Daydreaming about napping won't get anything done today, Piper" she said to herself. Neither would getting in the floor to play with Liam, but she couldn't resist. Stretching out next to him and rubbing his bald head, he looked up at her and gave her a huge toothless smile. Piper's heart melted.

"Hey my baby boy. Are you having fun? We're having a big party for Mama tonight. I'm gonna dress you up for it. Girls are gonna be drooling over you!" she cooed at him

Liam squealed and started cooing. Piper laughed. What in the world did she and Alex do before him? Surely life was not this delightful. Yeah, she was beyond exhausted all the time, her outfit of choice these days was yoga pants and a t shirt, and more often than not she smelled like spit up but she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, Alex" Larry said

"What are you doing here?" Alex bit out. She hated this man. It was a bone deep hatred she knew she would never let go of. He nearly cost her Piper.

"My dad had heart surgery. I came back for a couple weeks." He said

"That was rhetorical, asshat" Alex said rolling her eyes

"Oh" Larry mumbled, looking down. "Listen Alex, how's Piper? I heard there were some complications…"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You don't get to ask about her Larry. You gave up that right when you gave her your little speech about not having the same morals and not being with someone out of fear. Do you have any idea what you did to her? Of course you do, you're just enough of a prick to keep tabs on her. You've probably thought to yourself all these years 'I could have given her better'. You know what, fuck you Larry. You could never love her the way I do. Piper is more than a box of perfection and that's all you ever wanted. As soon as she started spreading out of that box, you ran. I love all of her, I know all of her. Every single detail. I know how to make her scream my name, how to chase her demons away, how to make her laugh. She could never, ever love you the way she loves me. You're too weak. Stay the hell away from her, from me and our son." Alex gritted out.

"Or what Alex? You're a convicted felon that's still on probation. You can't do anything. Piper would still be with me if it wasn't for you." Larry sneered.

Barking out a laugh, Alex looked him dead in the eyes. "She had 23 months to run to you after she got out and before I did. She's had countless opportunities to run back to you but it's still my bed she crawls in every night. It's still me she craves. It's always been me Larry. Even when you had her, it was me she thought about, me she fantasized about. Me. Now, luckily for us both, as of 11:07 my probation was over. Did you forget who I used to work for? What I used to do? I know how to fuck you up in ways that will make you wish you were dead. Come near my family again and I will make it happen." With that, she stormed out of the coffee shop, leaving a shaking Larry behind.

/

Alex was still seething when she walked into the apartment two hours later. Getting her passport had been a nightmare and didn't improve her mood any at all. 'That fucker's got some nerve' she bitched to herself. 'Honestly, after he just abandoned her like that, then refused to even take her phone calls. And that interview! God that interview and the column! He is such an asshole. What, does he want to be friends all of a sudden? Three years and we haven't seen or heard anything from him. Now he's shown up twice in a year's time!' Continuing her tirade with herself, Alex stomped into the kitchen for a drink. Getting a bottle of water from the refrigerator, she took a long pull. Slowly lowering the bottle, she realized how quiet it was. Thinking Piper and Liam must be asleep, she went to look for them.

Going to Liam's room first she found him fast asleep in his crib but there was no sign of Piper. Looking down at Liam, she reached in and gently rubbed his belly. He had his fist in his mouth, his lips slack around it. His other arm was flung to the side. He slept just like Piper-all over the place and dead to the world. 'When he sleeps these days' Alex thought. Leaving him to his slumber, she backed out of his room and quietly closed the door behind her.

Doubling back, she went back to the living room to make sure she hadn't missed Piper on the couch. No Piper. Heading back down the hall, she went to their bedroom. Expecting to see Piper sprawled out on the bed, she was confused to find the bed empty. Frowning to herself, she turned to leave the room when she heard her. Piper was moaning,

Squinting her eyes, she went towards the bathroom and slipped in. There was Piper, in the bath. She had her head turned to the side and eyes closed. Water lapped at her breasts as she pulled at her nipple. Alex felt her mood shift from anger to a desperate wanting and her body flush with desire as her eyes traveled down Piper's naked body. Piper had her hand between her legs, rubbing herself in fast circles. Alex was itching to touch her. It had been over a week since she's had her mouth on her. Taking a small step, Alex stopped herself. As much as she wanted to be the one ripping those moans from Piper's mouth, she was enjoying watching Piper more.

Before, when Alex was stressed and working nonstop, Piper used to sit somewhere in her line of vision and pleasure herself until Alex couldn't take it anymore. Alex would take Piper wherever she may be and fuck her hard. Piper would quickly return the favor, kiss her and saunter off. Mission accomplished. Remembering those times, Alex decided she had her own mission to accomplish.

Easing herself onto the side of the bathtub, she reached for Piper. Knocking Piper's hand out of the way, she replaced it with her own. Her fingers were met with white hot heat. Piper's eyes jerked open in surprise at the feeling of Alex between her legs . "Alex" she said breathily "I'm sorry…"

"What are you sorry for babe? It's fucking hot to watch you touch yourself." Setting a fast, steady rhythm, Alex rubbed straight up and down Piper's clit. "It reminded me of how you used to masturbate in front of me when you wanted me to fuck you and I was too busy to notice. Have we been too busy Pipes?" Changing the direction of her fingers, she began rubbing fast, tight circles around Piper's clit. Piper gasped and arched, grabbing her nipple again.

"How do my fingers feel Pipes? Are they better than yours? I want my mouth on you; I want to taste you. There's not enough time to do what I want right now though. It's the middle of the afternoon and nice, proper young ladies like yourself should definitely not be doing what I have in mind."

Alex voice was thick and gravely with need. Piper could swear her words were running over her body just as surely as her fingers were running over her clit. Feeling herself close, she grabbed Alex's hand and slammed Alex's fingers inside herself and rode her hand until the world exploded behind her eyelids. She kept on riding until her body stopped clenching and spasming. Panting hard, she opened her eyes and looked at Alex. "Hey Baby" she panted out. Alex was breathing hard and her face was flushed.

"Jesus Christ Pipes, that was so fucking hot." Alex said, leaning down to kiss her. Making the kiss quick, she pulled her hand away from Piper and moved away from the tub. Rinsing and drying her hand she looked at Piper "Liam and I will be gone in a few minutes then you can nap. I'm sure you need it after that." Turning, she got to the door before looking over her shoulder- "Oh and Piper? Those things I talked about? They will happen. And soon."

Then she was gone and Piper was left with a body aching for more of Alex and a mind that was picturing things she and Alex used to do to one another. Swallowing hard, she stood from the tub and got out. Drying off, all she could think was "Alex, Alex, Alex…"


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

Piper sent Nicky to the gallery with a made up story about a lost shipping statement. She knew that would keep Alex occupied for at least another hour and a half. It would give Piper enough time to get dressed and everyone arrive. Piper's mind kept wandering back to earlier in the bath. She didn't mean for Alex to catch her but she was very glad she had. Fanning herself, she thought about Alex's promise and hoped she fulfilled it soon. They had been so tired lately that they fell into bed at night, barely talking about their day before falling asleep.

"Piper, where do you want the banner again? Over the food tables or over the entrance to the kitchen?" she heard Polly call out to her. Snapping out of it, Piper went to help her friend in the hanging of the banner. There was a knock at the door and Lorna walked in before Piper had time to answer the door.

"Hey, Chapman. Polly. Sorry it took me so long to get here. People are just crazy out there these days" Lorna apologized.

Going over to her, Piper gave her a hug and told her not to worry about it. "Nicky set everything up for the music before she left. Did she call you? I sent her over to the gallery with instructions to stall Alex with a fake missing shipping statement."

"Yes, she called and said to hurry my ass up. She has such a way with words sometimes. " Lorna said.

Laughing her agreement, Piper turned to survey the room one last time. Everything looked perfect. Now all she had to do was wait on everyone to arrive, including Alex. She was going to be so surprised. Piper couldn't wait to see the look on her face. Piper loved surprising Alex. Alex was so in tune with her though, it made it hard sometimes to actually surprise her. Hiding things from her was nearly impossible. Alex always knew and would drag it out of her eventually, ruining the whole thing. Thankfully though, this time she had been able to use her exhaustion with Liam being up and down constantly as an excuse. Alex asked her repeatedly what was wrong. Piper would feign ignorance and claim she was just so damn tired she didn't have the energy for anything; not even normal conversation. Which was true- to a point.

Alex seemed to buy it. She was tired too these days. She had given Nicky the week off last week and worked at the gallery every day. Coming home late in the evening and spending all the time she could with Liam before he went to bed, she would then work on paper work and help Piper with ideas for the new soap line she and Polly were working on. She would be up and down with Liam all night too. The first few times he would wake up, they would take turns getting up with him but eventually they both just got up when he did and stayed awake until he went back down. Piper wondered how much she would have to bribe Polly with to get her to stay over one night soon so she and Alex could get a full night's sleep.

The doorbell rang again and Piper went to answer it. It was some of Alex's friends through the gallery. Piper was thrilled they had been able to make it. People started arriving regularly now. Most everyone was there when Nicky called Lorna to warn her that Alex was on her way. Lorna told Piper and Piper announced to everyone that Alex was coming and should be there in about 20 minutes. Everyone slowly shifted towards the windows in the living room so that Alex would see the banner before she saw them.

Cal and Neri were the last to arrive, with only minutes to spare. Piper shooed them over to the crowd of people but Cal hung back. "Listen Piper, we really need to talk before Neri and I leave tonight. It's about Mom." He told her

"Cal, I don't have time for this right now. You know where we both stand. This is Alex's day. I won't have a conversation about Mother ruining that. Not today. Call me tomorrow and we can talk but I refuse to do it today."

"Piper…fine. Tomorrow. But we will talk about this. This has gone on long enough." Cal said to her.

Lorna rushed over to Piper then, "Chapman, Nicky just text me. They are in the lobby."

"Ok, hey guys, they are in the lobby. Please quiet down and get ready!" Piper told them excitedly

A few minutes later, she heard a key in the lock. As the door opened, she heard Alex laughing and the tail end of some story Nicky was telling her. Piper watched Alex come through the door and look up, seeing the banner. Confusion crossing her face, she glanced towards the living room and froze as she saw everyone and heard "SURPRISE!" Staring in disbelief, she searched the faces out until she landed on Piper, who was standing there smiling from ear to ear with her hands clasped under her chin. Alex slowly made her way over to her. Stopping right in front of her, she searched her eyes, fighting tears that were beyond her. "You little shit. How did you do this without me catching on?" she asked Piper.

Laughing and wrapping her arms around Alex's neck, she kissed her and said "Exhaustion is an excellent cover my dear." Alex kissed Piper again before turning to everyone and thanking them profusely. She made sure she went to each one and hugged them. Her irritation over her earlier encounter with Larry and the missing shipping statement was quickly forgotten as she immersed herself in their friends and family.

Alex was standing with some friends from the gallery when she heard a familiar song start pumping through the apartment. "Chapman, Vause! Getcha asses out here and show us how white girls throw down!" she heard Cindy yell over the crowd. Laughing, Alex made her way over to Piper and took her by the waist.

"Shall we?" she asked

Piper's eyes were dancing as she stepped to the side and she and Alex began the familiar dance to 'Milkshake'. Memories of them doing this same dance in a club in London and the day they did it in Litchfield mixed together and flowed through each of their minds. Dancing close and staring into each other's eyes, a devilish smile spread its way across Alex's face. Taking Piper by the shoulders, she spun her around. Dropping her hands to Piper's hips, she brought her snug up against her own hips. Slowly wrapping her hands around Piper's stomach, she rested her chin on Piper's shoulder and turned to whisper in her ear, "Your milkshake certainly brought me to the yard Pipes." Throwing her head back in laughter, Alex took the opportunity to kiss up her neck. Catcalls and whistles rose up through the apartment. Soon everyone was dancing together and having a great time. Nicky handed Liam to Piper and she and Alex danced with him through two more songs.

/

Hours later after everyone had gone home, Piper and Alex lay in bed together. Alex had her head on Piper's stomach and Piper was running her fingers through Alex's hair. Piper loved times like this with Alex. Just them with no words needing to be spoken. Their silence and comfort spoke volumes and it brought Piper a comfort she had never found with another soul.

Breaking the silence, Alex said "Thank you for tonight Pipes. It had a blast. I still can't believe you pulled it off."

Piper giggled. "I told you, exhaustion is a great cover. The look on your face when you saw all of us standing there was priceless. I'm glad you had a good time. I really wanted to celebrate you. You've worked so hard the last few years. I don't think anyone gives you enough credit."

"I had a reason to work hard Piper. If didn't have you to come home to every night, I have no doubt I would have fallen into the same old patterns. I didn't know how to do anything but run drugs and manipulate insecure girls into doing what I wanted them to do. While I was in prison, I realized that I had spent years manipulating myself into believing it was enough. And it was until I met you. Then nothing but you was ever enough again. I knew that when I got out, if I asked you, you would have followed me right back into that. A life of jet setting across the globe, partying all night and fucking until we were sore held a lot of appeal to me. But it wouldn't be fair to you. I couldn't find it within myself to ask you to give everything up and leave it all behind again. So I worked to rebuild myself. I fought the temptation and focused on you and the way you loved me. One day I woke up and the temptation to stay in bed and hold you was greater than the temptation to run and I knew then that I was winning. That we were winning." Alex told her.

Sliding out from under Alex, she wiggled down until she was face to face with her. She kissed Alex on the forehead and said simply "Thank you for fighting".


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

They lay like that for a while longer. Alex was getting sleepy and felt her eyes drooping when she remembered her encounter with Larry. "Piper, you won't believe who I ran into at the coffee shop today." She said, waking instantly.

Stifling a yawn, Piper asked her who. "Larry Fucking Bloom. He grabbed my arm as I was walking out the door. Can you believe that? He had the balls to touch me. I was so pissed. " Alex told her.

"Larry? What's he doing here? I thought he moved?" Piper asked, sitting up.

Sitting up and facing Piper, Alex told her what happened. "I asked him the same thing, he said his dad had heart surgery or some shit and he was back for a couple weeks. Then he had the nerve to ask about you! I basically told him to fuck off, that he didn't have the right to ask about you. I told him to stay the hell away from us. Then he thought he was gonna get cocky and asked me 'or what' and said some stuff about me being a felon on probation. THEN he tried to tell me if it weren't for me, you would still be with him. I laughed at him. I mean really? So I proceeded to tell him that you had ample opportunity to go back to him but it was still me you were with. Anyway, I ended with telling him I knew how to fuck him up in ways that would make him wish he were dead and telling him to stay away from my family."

Piper's eyes were huge. She just looked at Alex. "Alex" she sputtered. "You're just telling me this now?! Why didn't you tell me about this when you came home to get Liam? I can't believe he talked to you! I can't believe you waited so long to tell me!"

"It's not really that big of a deal Pipes. I took care of it. If I remember correctly, you were a little distracted when I came home to get Liam, which in turn distracted me. Then Nicky lost the shipping statement and then there was the party. Which, again, was amazing babe." Alex said, leaning in to kiss the corner of Piper's mouth. She rubbed her lips across Piper's, then pressed more fully against Piper's mouth.

Pulling her head back, Piper frowned at Alex. "Not now Al, get back to Larry. Did he say how his dad was doing?"

"Seriously Piper? Are you really going to sit here and ask me about that assholes asshole of a father?" Alex was getting pissed "Fuck you"

"Alex listen to me. I was with Larry for six years. We were engaged. They were going to be my family. He was my lawyer!" Piper started

"And a shitty lawyer he was at that. He got you 15 months in prison when those 15 months should have been served on probation! Any lawyer worth his degree could have gotten you that! And then when he refused to defend you over the Pennsatucky shit, he bought you an additional 18 months. Fuck them both Piper!" Alex all but yelled.

"Alex, I see where you're coming from but I was just curious. Jesus. Why is Larry such a touchy subject with you? I'm with YOU. I chose YOU. God, will you ever really believe that?" Piper asked

"You chose him first Piper. You looked me right in the eye and said 'I pick him. I pick Larry' and you tore my fucking world apart for the second time. And then he dumped you when shit got real. You came to me and I told you to fuck off and get the fuck out. And THEN when you were all alone, you beat the fucking shit out of that meth head bitch. I nearly fucking lost you Piper. For good. Don't you get that? I. Nearly. Lost. You. Because of him!"

"Alex, I told you, I never chose him in my heart! It was always you! I was scared Alex. Never in my life had I felt the things you made me feel. You consumed me! When I was in SHU all I could think about was what a colossal fuck up I was for even thinking to tell you I picked him. I plotted ways to get you back. I vowed I would do whatever it took to prove to you that I loved YOU."

"You still called him after you got out of SHU Piper! I know you did, I heard you telling Red that you needed to talk to him one more time! I pretended that I didn't know because I couldn't handle you looking at me and telling me you still wanted any part of him!" Alex jumped in. Getting up from the bed, she paced to the window keeping her back to Piper.

"I was calling him to tell him to get the hell out of my house! I wanted him gone! That was MY house and no way in HELL was he going to live there while I was stuck in prison." She screamed at her. Getting up from the bed herself, she marched over to Alex. "Look at me Alex. Look at me dammit!" Taking Alex by the shoulder, she turned her to face her. "Listen to me. I don't ever want to repeat this. I was stupid. I fucked up. Big time. I never should have said I would marry him again. I should have seen him for what he is. But I did and I couldn't. I will regret that for the rest of my life. It took me too long to earn your trust again to have him show up and shatter it all in the blink of an eye. I asked about his father out of concern because they were in my life for so long. Nothing more. I choose you Alex. Every day and every night, I choose you. YOU are the love of my life. YOU."

/

They talked far into the night. It was good to get things out they had been dancing around since that Christmas. In so many ways, they had changed and evolved into a healthier, more stable relationship. But in so many other ways they were still stuck in old habits. Piper still ran from emotional chaos of any kind and Alex still tried to bandaid everything with sex. While their communication skills were a lot better these days, last night it became apparent to Piper they still had a lot of work to do.

Standing in the bathroom drying her hair, she looked down when she noticed her phone lighting up. It was Cal. She remembered telling him they would talk about her mother today. Turning off the dryer, she sighed and answered her phone.

"Hey Cal, what's up?" Piper said into the phone

"Hey Sis, just sitting out by the fire. Listen, I want to talk to you about Mom."

"So you said last night. Cal, you know how she feels. As long as Alex is a part of my life, she doesn't want anything to do with me. I'm not willing to sacrifice Alex in any way or abandon her just to please our mother. We've never had the best relationship and I can't imagine that we would now if I walked away from Alex. We are a family Cal. We have a son. Hello, your nephew, did you forget about him for a minute?" Piper said

"No, of course not. Just listen. I don't want to spend another Thanksgiving or Christmas or birthday the way we've done for the last few years. It's too complicated to remember where I'm supposed to be. I hate having to watch what I say around Mom" said Cal.

"If it's too much with us, then please, go, go be with her on holidays Cal. It's fine. I understand. Until she comes to me and says she is sorry for making me feel like less of a person for following my heart, I want nothing to do with her. She said I was giving up kids and the white picket fence for a lesbian criminal that wouldn't stick around. Well guess what Cal, Alex has stuck a lot longer than anyone has. I've got my son and my white picket fence. It's not conventional but it's what I want; what I need." Piper steamed.

Cal was quiet for a few beats, then said "I think this is a mistake Piper. If you would just talk to her again…"

"No, absolutely not. She comes to me and apologizes or nothing happens." Piper cut him off.

"Alright Pipes. Alright. Listen, I've gotta go ok? I'll talk to you later in the week."

Piper slung her phone down on the counter. Staring into the mirror, she remembered the day after Piper came home from prison. Her mother asked her when she was seeing Larry. Not wanting to repeat herself for the millionth time, she simply looked at her mother and told her she wasn't. her mother had huffed and told Piper what a mistake it was to cut Larry off, that if she would only talk to him and tell him she was wrong and everything had been a mistake, Larry would surely take her back and then everything would get back to normal and they wouldn't have to pretend and play the game anymore.

"Game? You think my love for Alex is a game? Who is pretending Mother? I'm not pretending. Alex isn't pretending. The only person I see pretending is you, Mother. You're living in a sad little world in your own head where everything is pristine and perfect. Things get messy Mother. Shit happens. Larry was shit that happened to me. I'm with Alex and I'm going to be with Alex when she comes home. That means I'm not going to see Larry today or tomorrow or ever again. Not in the way that you want. Accept it, get over it, forget about it, whatever you gotta do but stop pretending like I'm getting back together with him." She told her mother.

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman. I will not have a daughter that runs around like a floozie, consorting with criminals of her stature. You are giving up everything, the chance at children, the white picket fence…all of it for a lesbian criminal who won't stick around any longer than it takes her to get back on her feet. I won't watch it play out. I won't. As long as you are with her, I have no daughter." Carol said through trembling lips.

Taking a deep breath and remembering where she was, with hot tears running down her cheeks, Piper picked up her brush and threw it across the bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

Piper sat on the edge of the bed hearing her mother's words over and over. Her mother was wrong, so wrong, on so many levels. Alex was more than her past. She hadn't given up anything to be with Alex. If anything, she had gained more than she deserved by being with her. Why couldn't her mother just see that Alex was a good person who had made mistakes just like everyone else? Why couldn't she see how happy she made her? Piper wasn't asking her mother to like it or even broadcast it. Just accept her for who she is; a woman deeply in love with another woman.

Deep in her thoughts, she didn't realize she was crying again. She didn't hear Alex saying her name so she was startled when Alex squatted down in front of her.

"Babe, why the tears? What's wrong, Kid?" Alex asked, reaching up to wipe the tears away from Piper's face.

"Cal called. He wants me to talk to Mother. Says holidays and birthdays are too complicated for him now. I told him to go be with her, I understood. He says it's time for us to talk. But Alex I can't. The things she said to me…about you…I can't just forget that." Piper cried.

Shushing her and crawling up on the bed behind her, Alex took Piper in her arms and pulled her close. "Pipes, I don't care what she thinks of me. I don't care that she doesn't approve of me. Her opinions are insignificant to me. What I do care about is you and I know that this rift hurts you, whether you want to admit it or not. Maybe you should consider what Cal said. You don't have to get everything settled in one visit, but maybe it's time to start, y'know?"

"No Alex, you weren't there that day. Hell I was barely there. It was the day after I got out of Litchfield. I was shell shocked from being thrown out into the real world again. I was reeling from leaving you behind and she starts in on her Larry shit. Alex, she has to apologize to me before I can even begin…she has to accept who I am and who I am with. I'm not a perfect china doll for her to display to all her friends. I am a real person who has real feelings, whose love for another woman is real. Who really went to prison. I won't pretend all that doesn't exist just so she can be comfortable and keep her image up. Did you know that she used to tell her friends that she was visiting a sick aunt on the weekends she would come up to see me at Litchfield? What is that Alex?"

"I don't know what that is Pipes. Shame? Anger? Fear? I don't know. But Pipes, how is she supposed to come to you and apologize if you are completely closed off to even talking to her? Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the greater good of ourselves. You taught me that. You once sacrificed your love for me for the greater good of yourself. You left me because you knew that sooner or later you would be in too deep. It hurt us both and it took us years to get over that. But look at us now Piper. We have each other. We have Liam. We have a life we can both be proud of. Had you stayed, we wouldn't have all this. Honestly, we probably wouldn't have each other. I'm not telling you to call her today. I'm not telling you to do anything but think about it. Just think. Don't act." Alex told her.

Pulling her back across the bed with her, Alex lay Piper on her side and spooned her. She held Piper that way until she felt Piper's breath become even and her body relaxing. Easing off the bed, she got a throw and put it over her before leaving the room. Once in the living room, she got Piper's phone and looked for a number. Finding it, she punched it into her own phone and made a call that was years in the making.

"Mrs. Chapman, it's Alex Vause. I think it's time we talked…"

/

Sitting at a café on the other side of town, Alex tapped her fingers on the table top as she impatiently waited. Carol Chapman was already 15 minutes late. "How like her" Alex was thinking to herself. Alex had had enough. She was going to say what needed to be said and hoped like hell it pushed Piper's mom into contacting her. Seeing Piper hurt over her mother was almost more than Alex could take. Whether Carol ever truly accepted Alex and her relationship with Piper was all up to her, but the least she could do was fake it for Piper's sake. Alex was honestly surprised the divide between them had lasted this long. She felt sure when Piper found out she was pregnant that Carol would contact her and some sort of relationship would be forged for the sake of Liam. But no, nothing.

Seeing Carol enter the café, Alex started to get up out of her seat but thought changed her mind. This woman didn't respect her, she wasn't going to show her much respect. Staying where she was, she watched and waited on Carol to find her. Watching as Carol saw her and made her way over to the table, Alex didn't give one emotion away. If there was one thing Alex learned from her years in the cartel it was how to completely close yourself off in every situation. Giving away an emotion or a thought to the wrong person could prove to be deadly and Alex had no intentions of leaving herself open for this viper to strike.

Carol sat down at the table and stared at Alex. Alex stared right back at her. Breaking eye contact first, Carol looked over Alex's shoulder briefly before looking back at Alex. Alex had to hide a smirk.

"Alex" Carol said.

"Carol" Alex mimicked.

"Mrs. Chapman will do"

"Carol works for me. I gave you that courtesy when I called you today. Courtesies are over." Alex said in a bored tone.

Carol placed her hand at the base of her neck and gasped. "There is no need to be rude"

"There's no need for a lot of things. Now, I called you today because I want to discuss Piper with you…"

"I will not be discussing Piper with you" Carol interrupted.

"Oh yes you will. Piper is my wife, she is the mother of my son. You WILL discuss her with me. You will sit there and you will listen to what I have to say and you will give me an answer in return or so help me God, I will make a scene in here so damn dramatic you will never be able to show your face on this side of town again. Are we clear?" Alex bit out.

Unable to do anything other than swallow and nod, Carol sat back in her seat and waited.

"I know you don't care for me Carol. Judging from what I've seen out of you in the last few years, I don't think I care for you too much either. But i can push that aside for the sake of Piper. I don't care that you hate me, I don't care that you think I'm not good enough for Piper. I don't care that you're terrified that I'm a lesbian and I don't even really care that you're still hoping Piper goes back to Larry someday. What I do care about is how much you have hurt Piper. Regardless of what your relationship was like before she went to prison, while she was in prison and especially when she first got out of prison, Piper needed you more than she ever has in her whole life. But you just couldn't be there for her. Instead you worried about what people would think of you having a daughter in prison. That is such horse shit Carol. You have no idea how amazing Piper really is. She is the most kind and generous person I have ever met. She's an amazing mother, I've never seen someone love another person as purely as Piper loves Liam. Doesn't it bother you that you are missing that? You are missing out on your grandson. You don't get to see Piper with him; the way that only she can make him smile and laugh; the way she melts when he lays his head on her shoulder and wraps his hands in her hair; how protective she gets over him. You have no idea what you're missing because you can't swallow your pride." Alex felt herself getting choked up. Clearing her throat, she continued "She loves me like no one ever has. And I love her more than anything. I would lay down my life for her…she pushes me to places I didn't know I needed. She makes me want to be things I never knew existed within me."

"Do not sit there and tell me who my daughter is! I know very well who she is. I know that she had a plan before you. Things were set and everything was going to be perfect and then you sent her to prison and weaseled your way back into her life and you confused her. My daughter is not gay but you make her think she is. You ruined everything. You are nothing more than a common criminal…a…a dirty drug dealer who isn't worth my daughters time." Carol sputtered.

Not hiding her smirk now, Alex shot back "Piper's not gay, huh? Could've fooled me."

"How dare you!" Carol raged

"Look, I know I fucked up when I named Piper. I regret that every day of my life. Even now. And yeah, I did some pretty shady stuff back then and I'm not proud of it. But I won't apologize for it. I wouldn't be where I am today without doing that stuff. Or without Piper. I never confused Piper. She confused me more often than not. Piper had tons of chances to leave me but she didn't. She stayed. She over looked all the obstacles, all the shit we threw at each other and she fought for us. Listen, you don't have to like me, you don't even have to see me. But please, just try for Piper's sake. For Liam. Try to look past everything you think is wrong with her and look at everything that is so right with her. I've encouraged Piper to reach out to you and if she does, don't shut her down."

Standing to leave, Alex looked down at Piper's mom one more time "At the end of the day, you are only denying yourself the most beautiful and perfect little boy in the entire world. See, you know about him. He doesn't have a clue you exist. It's up to you to change that." Then she was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

Arriving home, Alex found Piper laying on the couch with Liam sitting on her stomach. Going over to them, she smiled down at Piper and picked Liam up.

"Hey little man! Mama missed you so much today! I think we are due for some bonding time, don't you? We've got some things to iron out." Reaching a hand down to Piper, she pulled her up and hugged her to her side.

"Where did you go today? I thought you were staying home with us today" Piper asked her as she nuzzled Alex's neck.

"I went to see someone today. I came back here as soon as I was done."

"Who did you see? Something to do with the gallery?"

"No. Piper, don't get upset, ok? After you fell asleep this morning, I called your mom. I met with her."

Silence hung in the air between them. Alex tensed waiting for Piper to reply. Minutes drug by and still Piper didn't say anything. Pulling back slightly, Alex looked down at Piper. "Pipes? Did you hear me?"

"I heard you Alex. I'm trying to process. What made you decide to go see her?" Piper questioned.

"You. Your tears this morning. I know you try to shrug it off and act like it doesn't really bother you, but I know it does Pipes. Seeing you this morning, hearing you cry…it was more than I could take. It pisses me off that I can't fix this for you…that I can't protect you from it. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I went to the source and I confronted it. I tried, Pipes." Alex told her.

"And what happened? I can't imagine my mother was thrilled to see you or she was very open to anything you said. I'm sure it offended her just being in your presence."

Chuckling, Alex gave her the PG version. "…by the end, I was pretty much begging her to talk to you. Not my finest moment. I had every intention of being a badass the whole time but then your face this morning flashed through my mind and I just couldn't be one anymore. I told her she never had to see me. And I mean that Piper. I'm not asking for or expecting a relationship with her in any way. I'll leave if you want her over here. I'll do whatever. I just want this fixed between you two. You don't think you do, but you need her."

"I don't need anyone but you Al. Thank you for trying though. I love the way you love me Alex. I love that you are mine for the rest of my life." Piper said to her, kissing her on the collar bone. Liam squealed and leaned in towards Piper. Laughing, Piper took him from Alex and covered his face in kisses. Liam squealed and giggled and grabbed two handfuls of Piper's hair.

Laughing, Alex wrapped them both in her arms. "And another way he is like his mama, he likes his hands all up in your hair messing it up." Piper laughed and kissed Liam on the head, then kissed Alex soundly.

/

The days passed and Piper didn't hear anything from her mother. She wasn't really expecting to but when Alex told her she had met with her mother, a small knot of hope had started to bloom. Maybe she should be the one to reach out, like Alex suggested. But what would she say? "Hey Ma, I know you told me you didn't have a daughter anymore but uh, I was hoping that since I spit a kid out of my own you would change your mind". Shaking her head, Piper went back to the papers she was going over. She and Polly were expanding Popi out of state and the paperwork was proving to be a nightmare.

She needed a few hours of peace and quiet so she had come into the office while Alex stayed home with Liam. Elbow deep in contracts and spread sheets, she called out a distracted "Come in" when there was a knock at her door, not even looking up. Feeling a thud on her desk, she looked up to find the biggest arrangement of red and white roses she had ever seen.

"Someone sure loves you, Mrs. Piper" Gladys, her secretary, said.

Laughing and smiling, Piper nodded and reached for the card. It read:

" _Will you go on a date with me and be my Valentine?_

_I heart you,_

_Al"_

Piper's heart melted. Grabbing her phone, she called Alex.

"Yes…yes, I'll be your Valentine! These are so beautiful Alex! I love them! Thank you!" Piper said before Alex could even say hello.

"You're welcome Kid. So I'll pick you up from work Thursday evening and we will go from there. I'll bring clothes for you. Be prepared for promises to be fulfilled Pipes." Alex told her.

Closing her eyes and stifling a moan, Piper remembered Liam. "What about Liam though? Is he coming with us?"

"Nope, I've already got him all set up with a date himself. Polly and Finn are coming over here to keep him for the night. Pete is out of town all week promoting this new show he's working on so it's no big deal. It's just you and me and our imaginations all night Pipes." Said Alex

"All night? Alex, are we sure Liam is ready for this? Are we ready for this?" Piper asked her

"Of course he's ready. He isn't even going anywhere. And yes, we are ready. We need this. We need to reconnect. We aren't even leaving town babe. We will only be a 20 minute ride away if anything happens. C'mon, babe. It will be fine."

Sighing into the phone, Piper was silent for a few minutes. Alex was right, they really did need to reconnect. Lately, she felt like she was just mailing it all in. The obligatory kiss in the morning, the snuggle at night because it had become routine. The last two times they had had sex it was a quickie up against the wall. That was fine with Piper, she loved having Alex any way she could get her, but it would be nice to take their time like they used to. "Ok" she said.

"Yes? Is that a yes?" Alex asked excitedly

"Yes"


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

Alex spent all of Wednesday with Liam while Piper worked at the office again. She really loved their one on one time. Liam was her main man and she found herself pouring everything out to him. She always felt better after, like she had a better perspective on things. Alex never imagined loving him this much. She remembered all the fear and all the sleepless nights she had before he came. She laughed at herself now. What did she and Piper do before him? Looking back, she could see that there was a hole in their lives that was waiting to be filled by Liam.

She took him shopping for champagne and chocolates for her date with Piper. It was a warm day for February in New York so Alex walked him around the park some before heading for home. She couldn't wait until he was old enough to bring him here and run around with him. Lost in her thoughts and absently telling Liam all the things they were going to do in the park when he was older, Alex didn't notice the man across the way watching her. She had no idea that he had been following her for the last hour.

Leaving the park and heading towards home, Alex decided at the last minute to go a few blocks up and look for a new dress for herself and Piper. And maybe a new outfit for Liam. She wanted to do a Valentine's Day dinner with him too. She didn't know that her decision stopped the man for today, but it wouldn't stop him in the future.

/

"Polly, are you sure about this? I mean, we've never even let you babysit him for a couple hours and now Alex is expecting you to watch him all evening and all night? I feel so bad" Piper was talking to Polly on the phone while she was on her way home from the office.

"Piper, please. I'm a mom too, remember? We will be fine. I swear! You need to go and forget about diapers and spit up and bottles. You need to go to dinner with your wife, allow her to wine and dine you. Then you need to go have amazing uninterrupted sex in a fancy hotel room and then you need to sleep. All night. And sleep late. And then you are going to come home to Liam and you will call me later in the day and give me every single detail about everything but the sex. That's just something I don't need to know about. Man sex, yes. Alex sex, no." Polly told her

"Shut up Polly. You know you're jealous." Piper spouted off.

"Jealous that after all these years you and Alex are still like horny teenagers? Yes. I wish Pete and I were still that attracted to each other. I love him Pipes, but half the time I don't want him to touch me. I would much rather just grab my pink friend and get myself off. I don't know when that became my reality" Polly confided.

"Sounds like you and Pete need to reconnect too. Why don't Alex and I return the favor soon? We will keep Finn over night or for the weekend while you and Pete get some one on one time." Piper offered.

"Thanks, I'll think about it. I don't know when he will have the time to be honest. He's going to be gone a lot promoting this damn show he's taken on. Sometimes I wish…hell I don't know what I wish"

"Maybe you should offer him your asshole. That ought to put the spark back in it" Piper laughed.

"God, shut up. You're sick. I've gotta go. Finn will be home soon. I love you, I'll see you tomorrow" Polly said

"Love you" Piper hung up and finished her walk home.

/

_**Thursday**_

Arriving at Piper's office at 5 on the dot, Alex knocked on the door and went in. Piper looked up from her desk and stopped what she was doing to stare. Alex was breath taking. She wore a red dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. The crossover sweetheart neckline showed just enough of the swell of her breasts to keep anyone's imagination running wild.

"Wow…Alex. You look amazing." Coming out from behind her desk, Piper slowly made her way over to Alex. Stopping inches from her, she looked her up and down from head to toe. "Your date is one lucky lady. Should I be jealous?"

Loosely linking her hands around Piper's waist, Alex pulled Piper to her. "Mmm well, if my date shamelessly eating an entire meal without having to get up to attend to a little person makes you jealous, then yes. You should be jealous." Kissing Piper lightly and hugging her close, Alex said in her ear "I bought you a new dress today. Come with me back to the hotel and let me dress you. Then it's dinner. And maybe dancing. And then it's time for my dessert." Piper shivered as Alex's breath caressed her ear and her voice flowed over her like silk.

Closing her eyes and steadying herself before opening them and looking coyly up at Alex, she said "I don't put out on the first date ma'am. Proper young ladies never do."

Smirking and putting her glasses on top of her head Alex said "Maybe you aren't the one putting out but I never said I wasn't going to. Let's go Pipes, the night awaits us."

/

Piper stood before the full length mirror in the bedroom of their suite. She wore a long pleated chiffon black maxi dress. She loved it. Looking at Alex in the mirror, she held out her hands and twirled around. "Well Vause, what do you think?"

"I think if we don't leave in the next four seconds, we won't leave this room at all. You look fantastic. You are going to be the best dessert I've ever had." Alex said in a low voice.

Piper felt her stomach clench as she watched Alex stalk across the room towards her. Never taking her eyes from her, Piper straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. "Promises, promises Vause. You promised me a date and I expect to get one."

"Oh you will get one alright." Taking Piper by the hand, Alex led her to the door and out into the hallway. "I have a few presents for you when we get back tonight Pipes. If you are a good girl, I'll let you choose which you get first. If you aren't a good girl, I'll open them for you and leave them sitting out for you to look at all night…but no touching."

"You aren't the only one that has surprises for tonight. I've got a thing or two for you as well. And you only get them if you give me everything you promised. So keep that in that twisted mind of yours" Piper winked and sauntered off to the elevator.

Dinner was in the restaurant of the Four Seasons where they were staying. Alex had a bottle of champagne brought over as soon as they were seated. She had really gone all out for tonight. The waiter poured their glasses and left them to decide their dinner choices. Picking up her drink, Piper raised her glass and waited for Alex to do the same. When Alex did, Piper said "To the love of my life. Thank you for putting up with me, thank you for loving me the way you love me, thank you for spoiling me…thank you for loving our son the way you do. I love you more today than I did yesterday and last year." Touching her glass to Alex's then taking a sip, she looked at Alex with love shining in her eyes.

Alex took a sip of her drink as well and looked at Piper for a long time before saying "You are more than I ever thought I deserved. I love you beyond reason and I still can't believe I am lucky enough to share my life with you. Thank you for waiting for me Piper. Thank you for coming back to me. Thank you for giving us another chance. I don't want to ever wake up and you not be there. I heart you, Kid."

They ordered their dinner and when it arrived, they made more plans for Cambodia. They had tentatively decided that Liam would go with them. Piper was going to call his doctor to see what they needed to do for him and Alex was going to make arrangements for him to get a passport if he needed one. Alex told her she bought Liam a suit the day before and she wanted to have a Valentine's dinner with him the next night. Piper loved the idea and said she would stay home from the office and cook dinner.

After their dinner dishes were cleared away, Alex held out her hand to Piper and said "Dance with me?" Piper looked around and said "Alex, there's no one else dancing. There really isn't anywhere to dance either. It's ok, we don't have to dance. I won't hold you to every promise"

"Rubbish. I want to dance with my wife on Valentine's Day. We can dance right here. I mean, it won't be the Milkshake dance, but I want to feel you against me. I want everyone to see the beautiful blonde I am lucky enough to call mine. Please dance with me Pipes."

Placing her hand in Alex's, Piper allowed Alex to lead her a few feet away from the table. Putting her arms around Alex's neck and feeling Alex gently put her hands on her hips, she leaned into Alex and followed Alex's lead and started swaying to a tune that only the two of them could hear. Closing her eyes, she rested her head on Alex's shoulder. She remembered doing this countless times in Europe. When Alex would be gone over night and would stumble in exhausted, Piper would get out of bed and take her in her arms and slow dance with her. Alex would hold on tight while Piper told her how much she missed her and how happy she was that she was in her arms again. Sometimes they would dance until the sun came up and then fall into bed wrapped up in each other. Other times Alex would only tolerate it for a little while before taking Piper to bed and making love to her until neither had energy to move.

Piper kissed Alex on the neck and whispered "I miss you Alex. I'm so happy you are in my arms tonight."

Alex kissed Piper on the top of her head and whispered back "I miss you too Kid. Ready to go upstairs with me?"


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

_Just call my name, you'll be ok_

_Your scream is burning through my veins_

The elevator ride up to the room was the longest one in history for Piper. Alex was constantly touching her and kissing her but not letting her touch or kiss in return. Piper wanted her hands on Alex. Walking into the room, Piper turned to Alex and pushed her up against the door. Before she could kiss her, Alex reversed their positions and said "My dessert, remember?" Jerking the straps of Piper's dress down, she leaned into her and barely touched her lips. Pulling back Alex looked at Piper. Just looked. Piper leaned in to kiss her and Alex pulled back further. "I'm going to take my time with you tonight Piper." Nipping at Piper's bottom lip, she pulled Piper into the bedroom and spun her towards the bed. Stopping at the foot, she pulled Piper's dress the rest of the way down.

"I want you to lie perfectly still for me. Let me touch you. Let me have you. When I'm all done, then you can have your turn. But not a moment before. If you don't let me get my fill of you, I will stop. Do you understand babe?" Alex said as she unclasped Piper's bra. She slid Piper's underwear off and stood back up, waiting for Piper's answer.

Nodding her head, Piper crawled onto the bed and lay back. Alex slowly took her own dress off. Looking at Piper laying on the bed, her body began to hum with need. She inched her way onto the bed on her hands and knees and came to rest between Piper's open legs.

"Piper. My Piper. It's been too long since I've been able to take my time with you. Tonight, I'm going to make you beg for it. I'm going to make you scream. My name will be all you can say. I will be all you can feel. I will consume you over and over again. I want to devour you. Do you want to know all the things I'm going to do to you? I'm going to make you come in my mouth, on my fingers and all over that bad boy in the box. But first, I'm going to taste you…like this"

Taking Piper's hand, she brought her fingers to her mouth and sucked each one slowly, deeply. Releasing her hand, she bent over and licked her way down Piper's neck to her right breast. Easing her nipple into her mouth, she took long pulls on it. Piper began to squirm, her breathing becoming more shallow. Scrapping her teeth across Piper's nipple when she was done, Alex licked her way over to Piper's other nipple and repeated the action.

"And then I'm going to taste you some more" Alex whispered

Beginning a lazy journey, she kissed and licked her way down Piper's stomach. Going further still, she ended at Piper's sex and licked Piper's pussy lips. Taking them into her mouth, she sucked them hard then released. Delving her tongue into Piper, she darted her tongue in and out then moved away quickly. Piper whimpered and said "Alex…"

"That's right baby, say my name. Only my name. Do you know how hot you look right now?"

Leaning back and sitting on her knees between Piper's legs, her eyes traveled up Piper's body. She reached behind her and with the tips of her fingers, she started just above Piper's ankle and slowly, softly ran them up her leg. Reaching her hip, she splayed her hand over and squeezed. "I love your hips Piper. I love holding onto them when you ride me. I love gripping them when we dance. I love the feel of them against me when I hold you at night."

Moving on from Piper's hip, Alex took both hands and ran them up Piper's sides. Inching closer and closer to her breasts, Alex leaned down again and placed wet, open mouthed kisses up Piper's stomach.

"Alex…Alex…" Piper moaned

"That's right baby, only me"

Reaching Piper's breasts, Alex palmed them both and squeezed. While massaging her breasts, Alex teasingly kissed Piper on the lips. Once again, Piper went for more but Alex denied her. "I'll kiss you when I'm ready". Leaning back, Alex started to rub and pull at Piper's breasts. Taking her nipples between her fingers, she pinched and rolled them. "I love your tits too. Not too big; not too small. The perfect fit for me. I love how responsive you are when I do this to them…" Alex dove down and took Piper's nipple between her teeth and bit. Piper screamed and bucked.

Husky laughter rolled from Alex. "Oh yes, I do love that. I love holding this one as I fall asleep at night. I loved watching Liam at your breast. It was the most beautiful thing. You've really got the greatest set of tits I've ever seen Pipes. I fucking love them"

Moving on, Alex rubbed up Piper's chest and across her shoulders. Massaging them briefly, Alex continued talking to Piper. "I love your shoulders too. The way they look in a tank top. They way they looked in tonight in that dress. They are so delicate yet so strong. I love how they have carried so much for so long. The way you tense them when you're pissed. Fuck it gets me. I especially love the way you put this shoulder into when you're fucking me" Leaning over, she bit Piper's left shoulder. Sliding her hands from Piper's shoulders, she moved down her arms. "I love this tiny mole right here…and the sprinkle of freckles around it." Bending, she kissed them. She continued kissing down Piper's arm until she got to her hand.

"Alex, what are you doing to me? Piper panted

"I'm loving you" was all Alex said. Picking up Piper's hand and reaching for the other one, she linked their fingers. "It used to scare me and piss me off that you held me in the palm of your hands. Everyone thought I was so in control but the truth is, it was always you. I love it now. I find comfort in it. I love what you do to me with these hands; the way you touch me; the way they reach for me in the dead of night; how rough and demanding they can be. How they set me on fire…how they cup me in all the right places." Bringing Piper's hands to her chest, she cupped her breasts with them. Without conscious thought, Piper instantly squeezed. Alex leaned her head back and moaned "Piper…Pipes you feel so good". Moving their hands from her breasts, she put Piper's hands beside her head.

Still holding hands with her, Alex stretched out on top of Piper. A hairs breath away from Piper's mouth Alex said "Fell me baby. Feel all of me against all of you." Pressing down into Piper, Alex took her mouth in a bruising kiss. Whimpering, Piper gripped Alex's hands harder. Tongues dueling, bodies pressing, hearts pounding, they were both breathless when Alex broke the kiss.

"Alex I need…"

"Shhh...I know what you need baby and I'm going to give it to you."

Sliding off, she rolled Piper over onto her stomach and started kissing down her back. "I love your back, the way it arches when I fuck you with my fingers. The way it bows when you come. I want to watch you bow up off the bed when you scream my name tonight Pipes." At the small of Piper's back, she kissed the dimples above her ass. "These are so sexy" she said against them. Finally reaching Piper's ass, Alex sat up and straddled Piper's legs. Rubbing her ass with both hands she said "And this ass. God this ass Piper. It was the focus point of many fantasies when we were separated…before and after prison. It's so tight. The way it looks in a pair of jeans…fuck. When you grind it against me when as we dance, mmm, I get so hot.

Running her hands down the inside of Piper's thighs, she teased her before returning to her ass. "I love to see my hand print on your ass. My mark on you, such a fucking turn on." With that, she quickly slapped Piper's ass. Piper jumped and groaned.

"Fuck Alex"

"Again Pipes?" Switching to the other cheek, she swatted her three times, then went back to the other cheek. By now Piper was constantly moaning and she was panting hard. "Alex, fuck me already. Just…fuck…me" Piper pleaded.

"Are you hot for me Piper? Do you want me? We've still got some things to do before you can have me baby." Taking her fingers, she pushed them between Piper's legs, brushing up and down her pussy. Piper clenched her legs together and moaned Alex's name. "You're fucking soaked and I love it. All for me…" sliding off Piper and off the bed, she made her way to the dresser. Selecting her toy, she turned back to Piper. "Roll over Pipes"

Piper rolled to her back slowly and looked over at Alex with lust glazed eyes. Walking back to the bed, Alex made her way back onto the bed. "Spread your legs for me babe". Piper complied immediately, watching every move Alex made. "Tell me what you want baby." Alex breathed.

"I want you to touch me…fuck me…Alex please" Piper said

"With this?" Alex said, holding up the vibrator. "Don't worry Piper, you're gonna get fucked seven ways to Sunday. Better hold on Kid, this might be a bumpy ride." Alex turned the vibrator on and held it to Piper's nipple. Piper's head shot back, her eyes rolled back in her head and she felt the first twinges of an orgasm building. "Don't stop Alex, god please don't stop" she garbled out.

Alex slowly wound around Piper's nipple with the vibrator, never quite touching the tip but never losing contact. Sucking the other nipple into her mouth, she gently bit, released and blew on it. There was a spot right below Piper's right nipple that drove Piper wild when Alex sucked on it. Alex went to that spot and sucked hard, all the while keeping the vibrator on Piper's left nipple. She left up on the sucking and pulled the vibrator away. Piper's hands had found their way into Alex's hair and she was pulling Alex back to her breast. "Don't fucking stop..." Placing the vibrator directly onto the tip of Piper's nipple and sucking her sweet spot at the exact same time had Piper bowing up off the bed and screaming out her first orgasm.

Smiling to herself, Alex said "That's one…ready for more?"

Moving down Piper's body, she dove into Piper's pussy with her mouth. She licked and sucked and nipped and lapped, all the while Piper was arching and squirming; trying to push Alex away yet pulling her closer and grinding into her mouth. "Fuck Alex! Alex! Oh my god, Alex!" Piper screamed.

Pulling her mouth away, she replaced it with the vibrator. "Say it baby, say it again for me" she demanded.

"ALEX!" Piper yelled as another orgasm tore its way through her. Throwing the vibrator to the side, Alex latched onto Piper's clit and inserted three fingers. She slid in easily and began thrusting hard. Flicking her tongue over Piper's clit hard and fast, then swirling around it. Back to flicking. Finally sucking it in and scrapping her teeth across it, she felt Piper's walls begin to twitch and contract. "Again Piper" she said against her clit. Hearing Alex's voice was like a shot of fire straight to Piper's clit and she came again.

Piper was a trembling, soaked mess. She could barely lift her head to look down at Alex, who was still licking lightly at Piper's sex. "Al…" she moaned. "I can't…"

"Yes you can baby. And you will. One more time for me" Alex said, kissing her way up Piper's body. Reaching her lips, she sealed her promise with a kiss. Piper tasted herself there and somehow, felt herself getting hot again. Winding her arms around Alex's neck, she pulled her closer and fought for control of the kiss. Alex let her take it briefly. Enjoying the feel of Piper beneath her, Piper's mouth on hers, she relaxed into the woman she loved.

Pulling away, Alex got up and went back to the dresser. With her back to Piper, she opened the box. "One more time Piper. This used to be your favorite way to ride me. I want to watch from below as you fall apart on top of me."

Piper felt herself drip as Alex bent and slipped the strap-on on. Memories rushed back. She was shaking with need all of a sudden. It had been so long since Alex had fucked her with one. So long since she'd had anything more than Alex's tongue and fingers inside of her.

Walking back to the bed, Alex crawled over to Piper. Lying down beside her, she started to rub Piper anywhere she could touch her. "This one's all on you baby. You fuck me how you want it."

Pushing Alex onto her back, Piper started kissing her while she slid on top. She stayed that way for a while, just kissing Alex. Kissing Alex was such a turn on for her. Not that she needed any help at the moment, but still, it was one of her favorite things to do. Lowering herself, she reached between her legs and lined up the head of the dildo and slid onto it. Breaking the kiss to gasp, she threw her head back and moaned loud. "Oh fuck Alex…"

"Baby, you look so gorgeous right now." Alex said. Gripping Piper's hips, she waited for Piper to start moving and set the rhythm.

Piper felt so stretched and full. She held still for a moment and relished the feeling of Alex underneath her and the cock inside of her. God she loved this. She loved all the things Alex could do to her with a strap on. Easing up some, she slowly slid back down. And again. And again until she found a pace she liked. Pulling Alex's hands from her hips, she gripped her hands and started to ride in earnest. Alex was moaning and panting, gripping Piper's hands hard. "Fuck Pipes, oh fuck…"

"Alex…fuck…oh….I want you…to come with….me…ffuuuccckkkk me Al" Piper gritted out between thrusts.

"Almost there baby…fuck…God I love seeing you like this…."

Bouncing faster and grinding into Alex, Piper closed her eyes and tossed her head back as she felt the orgasm building once again. Leaning over and putting her forehead against Alex's, gasping for breath, she felt Alex thrusting up into her, meeting her. Two more thrusts and Piper was screaming Alex's name. Vaguely, she heard Alex screaming out her orgasm. Collapsing onto Alex, she felt light headed and could already tell she was going to be fantastically sore tomorrow.

"Fuck that felt so good" Piper said at last.

_**AN: Alright guys, this was getting way too long, so I decided to bust it up once again. Also, I am LOVING your reviews. I am curious about you guys though, send me a message and let me know where you're from and tell me a bit about yourself if you want to **____** thanks so much for reading, you guys are amazing!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

Piper lay on top of Alex, still trying to gather her strength. Her body tingled and ached in all the right places; she felt as if her muscles had turned to mush. Alex was gently stroking up and down Piper's back, already thinking of how she could make her come again. Getting an idea, she brought her hand down to Piper's ass and started to kneed.

Shivering and moaning, Piper tried to shift away. "I'm not done with you yet, Kid" Alex said in Piper's ear.

"You can have me later. For now I think you've had enough dessert. It's my turn now. You made me come so hard and I'm going to return the favor…again and again…and again." As she said this, she moved to the side of Alex and let her hand roam down Alex's body. "I'm going to leave my mark all over you, Al. Every time you take your clothes off you will see them and you will remember this night. You will think of me and you will feel me."

Alex arched into Piper's touch and growled low in her throat. Piper hadn't even gotten started and she was already throbbing and aching with need. "God…yes Pipes…yes"

"I want to take you places you've never let me take you before. Will you let me Al? Will you let me love you in a whole new way for us?" Piper asked, kissing the side of Alex's breast, her hand reaching lower on her stomach.

Breathing hard, Alex pressed towards Piper's hand…"Touch me Piper"

"Answer me and I'll touch you. Will you let me take you the way I want to?"

"Yes…shit…yes! Just please…let me feel you" Alex panted out.

Reaching between Alex's legs, Piper cupped Alex. Alex started grinding into the heel of Piper's hand. If Piper would just leave her hand right there, Alex could get herself off quickly and relieve some of tension coursing through her body. Piper knew exactly what Alex wanted and had no intention of giving it to her….yet. pulling her hand away, she brushed her fingers across Alex's sex. Skimming close to her clit, then moving onto the outside of her lips; further down and back up again. Sliding her fingers through Alex's slit, she toyed with Alex's hole-not quite dipping inside but applying enough pressure to make Alex squirm and reach for more.

"You want this baby? You want me inside of you? Stroking? Adding more until you're painfully full?" Piper asked

"Fuck yes Pipes, you know I do" Alex gritted out.

"Soon then…but not yet. You're not the only one that can take her time." Piper teased. Pulling her hand away completely, she went back to sucking on the side of Alex's breast. She already had a small bruise forming but she wanted to leave more. Alex would see and feel her for days to come.

Alex grabbed Piper's hand and tried to pull it between her legs again. "Ah, ah, ah Alex. Patience. This is my turn, remember?" Piper scolded.

Groaning in frustration, Alex tangled her hand in Piper's hair, holding her head in place. Usually it was Alex who did the teasing and Piper would dive right in and take what she wanted. Alex could only remember two other occasions when Piper took her time and made her wait. She loved it when Piper took control like this. It made her head spin with want. She hated it too though. Once Piper touched her, all she wanted was Piper between her legs…in any way she could get her. Never before had Alex craved someone so. It had always been like this for her; from day one, no one was ever enough but Piper.

"Stop thinking so much and just feel" Piper said against Alex's neck. Latching onto her neck, Piper suckled there as her hand began a new journey down Alex's body. Scraping her nails up Alex's stomach, she flattened her palm over Alex's nipple and rubbed. Feeling her nipple pebble beneath her hand, Piper took it between her fingers and rolled it. Alex couldn't be still. What Piper was doing felt so good.

"Piper…more"

"I know baby…I know." Piper said against her neck. Leaning back, she determined that mark was good enough for now. Kissing up her neck and along Alex's jaw, Piper never stopped touching, teasing, caressing Alex. "Alex, I'm going to lie on my back. You're going to climb on top and let me eat you"

Grunting, Alex quickly flipped Piper over. "It's about damn time Pipes"

Adjusting herself for Alex, Piper watched as Alex rose above her. Placing her arms around Alex's thighs, she looked up at Alex. Alex looked down at her with hunger. Never breaking eye contact, she started kissing the inside of Alex's thighs. Trailing her tongue along the path of her kisses, she slowly made her way to Alex's center. "I love the way you taste, baby" Piper mumbled into her. Alex trembled and reached down to hold Piper's head.

"No" Piper said. "Lean back and put your hands on my thighs." Alex looked at her for a minute, then eased back, grabbing onto Piper's thighs. Once she was in position, she was arched and deliciously open to Piper. Piper licked her lips before lifting her head and tasting Alex. They both groaned on contact. Moaning still, she ran her tongue up Alex's slit. Swirling around her clit once, twice, three times, she moved on. Alex let her head fall back and she moaned, pushing into Piper's face. Finding Alex's opening, she teased it with the tip of her tongue before pushing all the way in. In and out she went, speeding up and then slowing down.

"Dammit Piper…god you feel good." Reaching her hand around, she started to rub her clit.

Stopping what she was doing, Piper lay her head down and watched. Fuck it was hot.

"What are you doing….? Don't stop Pipes. Goddammit don't you stop" Alex said.

"Move your hand Alex" Piper said, licking the outside of Alex's lips before sucking them into her mouth. She worried them between her lips before sucking one more time, then releasing them.

"Make me come Piper. I need it…oh fuck I need to come baby" Alex bit out. Piper could hear how on edge she was. Blowing across her pussy one last time, she pulled Alex closer to her and attacked her clit. She sucked hard, then bit, then sucked again. Pulling away, she stuck her tongue out and lightly flicked it over and over. Sucking it back into her mouth, she swirled around it. Back to flicking. More sucking. One more bite…then Alex was grinding onto her face and moaning long and low "Piper…Piper…Piper"

Piper rode her out, then pushed Alex back and sat up. Alex was laying between her legs, breathing rapidly. She had her arm thrown over her face and her mouth open. Spreading Alex's legs wider, Piper came up between her legs and pressed herself to Alex. Alex jumped and moved her hand. Piper ground herself into Alex while leaning down and kissing her. The kiss quickly raged out of control. Teeth clashing, tongues in a battle for control, lips bruising. Jerking her head away, Piper ground harder into Alex. "God…fuck Alex. You're so hot…so wet" Piper gasped out. Alex pressed up into Piper, making Piper's contact even harder.

"Fuck Kid, I'm going to come again. Don't…don't…fuck!" she barked out as another orgasm ripped through her. Piper was still grinding, causing Alex to jerk and cry out more. "I'm coming baby, oh fuck I'm coming again" Piper sputtered out. Shaking, she rolled with Alex until they were at the edge of the bed. Kissing her again, Piper brought her hands up to her head and held Alex in place.

Slowly breaking the kiss, she got off the bed and pulled Alex all the way to the edge of it. This was going to be all new territory for them and Piper felt her nerves starting to surface. Alex had always refused this in the past. Piper had never even attempted this since getting out of prison. But she so wanted to do this to Alex. She thought about it often…the look on Alex's face when she felt how full Piper could make her; the way she would make her come.

Placing Alex's feet on the ground, she told Alex to lie back and hold on. Leaning in, she sucked the crease of her leg, leaving yet another mark. Kissing over to her stomach, Piper inserted one finger and started to pump, slowly. Alex moaned and tried to scoot up the bed. "Hold still Alex, you had your fill, now I get mine. Piper said against her skin.

Still pumping, she licked at Alex clit, then inserted another finger. Increasing her speed, she scissored her fingers, stretching Alex. Alex was starting to relax and thrust to meet Piper's fingers. Leaning down again, Piper planted wet kisses across Alex's stomach. Alex reached down and ran her fingers through Piper's hair. "You fuck me so good baby…" Alex moaned.

Bringing her thumb into contact with Alex's clit, she slid a third finger inside. "Does that feel good Alex?" Piper asked. Alex could only grunt in response. Smiling, Piper gently flexed her fingers inside Alex. She felt Alex clench around her. Removing her hand, she licked Alex again. Putting her legs over her shoulders, she told Alex to raise her hips a bit. Spreading Alex open, Piper started to lick around her asshole. Alex gripped the bed sheets and pressed her head down into the bed. "Oh fuck Piper…no one…"

"I know baby. Let me. Please" Piper said, going back to licking Alex. Sticking her fingers back in Alex to get them wet, she rubbed and probed Alex's ass for a bit before gently applying pressure. Pressing further, then stopping to allow Alex time to get used to it. Holding her finger still, she licked Alex's pussy again. Lapping at her, she pressed further with her finger. "Are you ok baby?" Piper asked.

Alex was breathing hard and didn't answer at first. Then, "Fuck yes. God that feels good Piper. More."

Pushing all the way in, Piper slowly pulled her finger back. Nearly pulling it all the way out, she eased back in. Piper set a slow rhythm, all the while licking at Alex's pussy and sucking on her clit. Alex was moaning and arching, desperately reaching for more. With her free hand, she reached up and grabbed Alex's hand. Alex gripped hard. Piper moaned into Alex, sending small quakes through Alex's body. Alex literally felt Piper everywhere. It was too much, she felt like she was going to combust.

Feeling Alex's body start to tense, she sped up her thrusts. Twisting her finger and biting down on Alex simultaneously had Alex shooting up off the bed and screaming "PIPER!" Piper stayed with Alex until she felt her go limp. Gently pulling her finger out, she lightly lapped at her, then eased up her body. Lying next to Alex and gathering her in her arms, she held her until Alex stopped shaking.

Alex wrapped herself around Piper, holding on tightly. Her heart was pounding, her limbs like jello. She couldn't form a single coherent word. No one ever touched her like Piper. No one ever did this to her. She couldn't explain it. All she knew is right now, in this moment, everything was perfect.

Shifting her head so she could look up at Piper, she said "Damn woman, you will be the death of me one day"

Laughing, Piper leaned in to kiss her. "Happy Valentine's Day baby"


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

They slept in and cuddled in bed, enjoying being lazy and alone together. Both agreed it was nice but strangely unfamiliar to wake up without Liam now. Piper stretched and winced. She was sore and stiff. It had been at least a year since Alex worked her like she had last night and much longer than that since she used the strap-on. Piper loved it when Alex made love to her with it on but she never asked or pushed for it. She knew Alex had her insecurities about Piper being with men in the past so she let Alex have all the control in that area of their love life.

Noticing her discomfort, Alex snuggled close to Piper. Running a lazy hand over Piper's hip and down her leg, she kissed the back of her neck. "You okay, Kid? Did I hurt you last night?" she asked with concern.

Pressing back into Alex, Piper reached behind her and pushed her fingers into Alex's hair. "Mmm, it hurts good though. I'm just a little stiff. I'll be okay baby." She told her.

"How about a hot bath and me helping you relax those muscles some? This chick in a bathroom stall once told me I have the fingers of a God. Wanna test that theory?" Alex asked while sliding her hand between Piper's legs.

Piper sighed and arched into Alex's hand. "How do you so this to me? Yes, God yes I want…that bitch in the bathroom? Tell me about her…"

"Meet me in the bath and I'll give you every detail." Pulling away, Alex rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom. Piper stayed in bed remembering the night Alex referred to.

_They'd just returned to the States for a quick two week visit before heading to London. Piper hadn't seen much of Alex and she missed her terribly. She was out at a club with Polly and some other friends while Alex was lining up new mules and making arrangements for drops in London. Piper had learned very quickly that she couldn't tolerate being around Alex when she scouted for mules. She knew Alex wouldn't step over the line entirely but she toed a little too close for Piper's liking. Alex flirting and the girls touching made Piper see RED so now she just stayed away._

_She was more than a little drunk and wanted to go back to Alex's apartment but she knew she wouldn't be there. Not wanting to be alone, she stayed with Polly and their friends. Closing her eyes, she danced to the beat pumping across the room like there was no one else around. When she felt people brushing up against her or get too close, she would move away. There was only one touch she wanted tonight. The song slowed and so did her movements but she never stopped dancing._

_Feeling someone closing in behind her she started to step away until she felt a hand sliding under the hem of her shirt. The touch was instantly familiar and comforting. It made her heart skip a beat. Leaning back, she brought her hands up and wound them around the head behind her, bringing it down for a searing kiss. When the kiss broke, Piper's heart was pounding._

"_Hey Kid. You kiss everyone that dances with you like that?" Alex smirked at her._

_Turning in her arms, she put her arms around Alex's waist and ran her hands up her back. "Only the tall hot ones. What are you doing here, Al? I thought you were working tonight"_

"_I am. Well, I was. I was putting the finishing touches on this redhead when I glanced across the dance floor. There was this blonde shaking her ass. I had to get closer. So I left the bombshell and came to you." Saying the last part, Alex pushed her way into the back of Piper's skirt and pulled her closer. "I haven't seen nearly enough of that ass since we've been back Piper. Help me fix that. Come to the bathroom with me, babe."_

"_What about the bombshell Alex? Don't you need to finish with her?" Piper asked her._

"_Fuck her Pipes. I've got more people than I need right now. She was just because I could and I was bored without you around. I want you. Now." She said, digging her nails into Piper's ass._

_Cocking her head in the direction of the restrooms, Piper said "Lead the way…"_

"Piper! what are you doing in there? Come on, tubs full?" she heard Alex call out. Shaking the memory from her mind, Piper got up and went to Alex. She found her already in the steaming water, her arms and legs open, waiting for her.

"The water's hot but I bet we can make it hotter." Alex said to her as she stepped in with her.

Leaning against Alex, Piper let out a contented sigh as the water and Alex's arms enveloped her. "Now finish telling me about this blonde in the bathroom."

"Ha! Well, she was smokin' hot. She had on this sexy little skirt and black halter top. High heels that made her legs bunch and ripple. So fuckin' sexy. Damn that skirt was so short I don't think it was even legal. All I could think about was getting my hands underneath it…."

Alex wove the story with her words as her hands told the story across Piper's body. Piper was very relaxed indeed by the time Alex was done with her.

/

Arriving home, they found Finn asleep on the couch and Polly in the floor playing with Liam. Grinning, Piper went straight to Liam and picked him up. Looking up and recognizing his Mommy, he gave her a gummy smile and laid his head on her chest. Grabbing a handful of her hair and popping his other fist into his mouth, he snuggled.

Wrapping her arms tighter around him, Piper closed her eyes and nuzzled him. "I missed you too baby boy. How did it go, Polly? Was he good for you?"

"He was a champ! I'm exhausted though. I totally forgot what it's like having a baby. Thanks for the dose of birth control!" Polly laughed. "Oh, he felt a little warm and was fussy when he got up. Probably just teeth though. It's about time for that to start."

Concern masking her face, she pressed her lips to his forehead. "He does feel warm." Laying her cheek on the top of his head, she softly crooned to him, "Do you feel bad baby boy? What's wrong with Mommy's boy, hmm?" Turning to Polly she asked, "What do I do? He's never even had the sniffles before, Pol."

"Just watch him, really. If he seems uncomfortable or he gets any warmer, you can give him some infant's Tylenol." Polly told her.

Coming into the room from dropping their stuff off, Alex heard the last of Polly's sentence. Frowning, she walked over to Liam and Piper. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Polly says it's probably teething but he feels warm and she said he was fussy when he woke up." Piper filled her in.

Making a noise in the back of her throat, she took Liam from Piper and cradled him in her arms. Kissing him on the head, she murmured to him, "What is it Little Man? Tell Mama what's wrong. How do we make it better Pipes?"

"Polly says if he gets hotter or too uncomfortable to give him Tylenol. But we don't have any. Al, will you get some just in case?"

"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Here, take him. I'll go right now." Giving Liam to Piper, she kissed her on the temple and Liam on the nose and quickly left the apartment.

/

Heading to the drug store, she thought she saw a familiar figure up ahead but lost it in the crowd. She forgot about it immediately, her mind filled with concern for Liam. she hoped it was just teething like Polly said but she couldn't help worrying. Other than him not sleeping in bouts here and there, they had had no problems with him. Even when he got his shots, he remained his happy, easy going self.

Going into the drug store, she found what she needed and quickly paid for her purchase. Out the door and onto the sidewalk, she was typing out a text message to Piper and not paying attention to where she was going. Slamming head long into someone, Alex instantly stepped back and started apologizing.

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying…Fahri." Alex's words stumbled to a halt.

"Hello Alex. Nice to see you too. You're a hard woman to get alone. I've been following you for nearly a week now." He said.

"What are you doing out of prison? Here? And why the hell are you following me?"

"Awe, surely you don't think you're the only one that can turn coat, hm? The right names and locations carried the right price and here I am. I'm back Alex and I'm going to be bigger than ever. The market is open and begging. But I need help. Someone smart and sexy; someone who knows all the tricks. Someone that can move large amounts of product in a days notice. Someone…motivated and hungry. Someone like you, Alex."

"Fuck you. No way. No fucking way Fahri. I'm out. I'm straight now." Alex spit at him.

"You don't look so straight to me. Not with that blonde you used to drag around…and that baby"

Alex felt fear paralyze her. He knew about Liam. "Stay away from the Fahri."

"I have no intentions of wasting my time with them, Alex. That's not my style, you know that. But I need you Alex. Remember what a rush it was in the beginning? Think about it. I'll be in touch." With that Fahri faded into the masses of people. Alex stood frozen, her hands shaking.

"What the fuck" she whispered to herself.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11**_

Standing on the sidewalk while people swam around her, Alex couldn't move. Fahri was back. And he wanted her. Feeling her phone vibrate in her hand, she snapped out of it. Looking down, she saw she had a text from Piper:

**P: **_Everything ok?_

She considered telling Piper for half a second what just happened but changed her mind. Piper didn't need to know this. She had no plans of ever seeing or speaking to Fahri again so there was no point in stressing her out.

**A: **_Cudnt find wut I needed, had 2 wait 4 help. B there soon muah_

**P: **_k love you_

Shaking her head, she started for home. Winding her way through people, she was constantly looking around her to make sure Fahri wasn't following her. But he already had been, hadn't he? He probably already knew where they lived. Alex's mind was in over drive as she walked into their apartment building. She had to make sure Fahri never got near Liam or Piper. She was sure she would kill him if he did.

Walking back into the apartment, she called out for Piper.

"Pipes, I'm back. I got the Tylenol and this stuff called Pedialyte. I remember Flagstaff giving it to some of the girls when they partied too hard the night before."

Piper came out of Liam's bedroom with a worried look on her face. Alex felt dread wash over her. "What is it? He didn't get worse while I was gone, did he? I was only gone for like, 30 minutes babe." She said

"No, I just haven't heard that name in a long, long time. What made you think of him? It always worries me when you talk about guys from the business." Piper told her.

"I don't know. I was walking down the aisle to the register and I saw it and remembered him giving it to them. He said it helped with dehydration. I didn't know if I a fever would dehydrate Liam and I thought it couldn't hurt to have it, just in case, you know?"

Smiling at her, Piper walked to Alex and took the bag from her. "Good memory. Let's hope we don't have to use this stuff."

"Is Liam okay? How does he seem to be feeling? What do you think it wrong with him? Should we call the doctor?" Alex babbled out.

"Whoa, one question at a time Al. He seems ok. I just put him down for a nap. He was a bit more clingy than usual, but that could be because we were gone last night and most of today. I don't know that anything is wrong actually. I guess babies have bad days just like we do. It could be any number of things, really. No, we don't call the doctor. I guess we just do like Polly said and watch him. Let's give him a couple days. By Monday if he still seems off or is feeling any worse, I'll call and have him checked just to be sure." Piper answered her.

"Yeah, okay. It's just that he hasn't gotten a cold or anything and…I don't know Pipes. I'm worried, that's all." Alex confided.

"I know, me too. Let's let him sleep with us tonight. I think it will make us both feel better, don't you?" Piper said to her.

"Yeah, I do. I'm gonna go sit with him for a while. Want to order take out? Maybe Chinese? We haven't had that in a while." Alex said, walking down the hall towards Liam's room.

"I love that you know when to order Chinese now." Piper said to Alex's retreating back. Alex didn't hear her but that was ok with Piper.

/

Alex sat and watched Liam for a long time. The need to hold him and feel his little body snuggled into hers was too much and even though he was sleeping peacefully, she got him up and cradled him to her. Sitting in the rocking chair, she gently rocked back and forth, all the while looking down at his face. He still had incredibly long lashes. They rested against his chubby cheeks. His nose and chin still Piper's. He had a heart shaped mouth. He was bald now and Alex thought it was impossibly adorable. Though is hair was dark when he was born, the fuzz coming in on his head was a dark shade of blonde. Alex was hoping it would be curly. She could picture a little two year old Liam running around the park with her and Piper, curls bouncing with each step he took.

"Mama loves you bigger than the sky Little Man. I hope you're feeling better tomorrow. Did you just miss us? Hm? Mama ran into someone today Liam. He isn't a nice man. He's a bad man but Mama used to work with him. Remember how I told you that Mama didn't always make the right choices? Well, he was part of those choices. He helped me in a way. He said he wants to make bad choices again and he wants me to help him. I don't want to Liam, you gotta believe me buddy. But I would be lying if I said I didn't remember how good it felt sometimes. You see, there are times in your life when you're given two roads to go down. One road is kind of boring and safe. But you know it's right. And the other road is exciting and powerful and dark and scary. And you know it's wrong but it feels so good, you don't listen to anyone or anything. Mama chose the dark road and it felt so good for a while Liam. Everything did. The rush of a good deal, beating competitors, power…it all felt so good. And Mama remembers that. I remembered a lot of it today when I saw the bad man. I;m going to do whatever i have to to protect you. You and Mommy are all I need Liam, more of a rush to me than anything I did back then…but sometimes…"

Alex continued rocking and him and talking to him until Piper came in to get her for dinner. Taking Liam with her, she went to the table and sat. "Should we wake him up and try to get him to eat Piper?" Alex asked and Piper came in with their food.

"I asked Polly, she said just to let him sleep. I guess he will get up when he's ready or hungry enough." Piper shrugged.

They ate their dinner and Alex held Liam the whole time. She couldn't seem to tear herself away from him. She felt like he was her only anchor to the life she had worked so hard to build. She truly didn't want to have anything to do with Fahri, but memories can be powerful and tonight the memories were bombarding her. Tired of fighting them, she got up from the table and told Piper to leave everything until morning and she would take care of it then. "I'm going to lay down with Liam. Come with us?" she asked Piper.

Piper told her she would be in later, that she had some papers to look over that Polly left for her. Kissing her on the corner of the mouth, Alex went to their room and stretched out on the bed with Liam. Laying him on her chest, she stroked his back and kissed the top of his head and let the memories wash over her.

/

Piper found Alex and Liam both sleeping an hour later. She hadn't meant to work that long but one paper led to another and before she knew it, she was looking over contracts and financial reports and stock possibilities. Smiling to herself, she changed into pajamas and crawled in bed with them. Alex woke up when she felt the bed dip with Piper. Smiling at her and rubbing Liam's head, Piper said "Here, let me take him for a while. You go change and get comfortable. It can't feel good to sleep in dress pants and a button up with a baby on your chest."

Trying to stifle a yawn, Alex nodded in agreement and carefully moved Liam from her to Piper. She went and washed her face and brushed her teeth. Shedding her clothes, she pulled shorts and a wife beater on and went back to bed. Piper had Liam laying in the crook of her arm and she was rubbing his leg, humming softly to him.

"I haven't heard you sing in years Pipes. You used to sing to me when I got ahold of bad X, remember? It was all that calmed me. Your voice singing the same verse over and over. Will you sing to me tonight Pipes? Please?" Alex desperately needed something to calm her.

"Come here baby." Piper patted the other side of her and held out her arm. Alex climbed in beside her and settled her head in the crook of Piper's arm. Wrapping her arm around Piper and Liam she asked Piper again "Please…sing to me…"

Piper knew she couldn't sing but one night in Morocco, after days of endless partying and fucking, Alex was on a bad trip. Sitting in the bathroom floor with Alex's head in her lap, Piper had started to sing. Rubbing Alex's hair, she sang the same verse and chorus to her over and over. Alex eventually relaxed and clutched Piper's leg. When Piper would stop singing, Alex would whimper like a small child and say "Please…" so Piper would start singing all over again.

Looking at Alex, Piper searched her eyes for an answer she didn't even know the question to. "What is it, baby?" she finally asked.

"Just sing to me…please." Alex begged.

"Ok…ok…shhhh"

"_All of these lines across my face, tell you the story of who I am. So many stories of where I've been and how I got to where I am. Oh but these stories don't mean anything when you've got no one to tell them to. It's true, I was made for you. I climbed across the mountain tops, swam all across the ocean blue. I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules. But baby I broke them all for you. Oh and even when I was flat broke, you made me feel like a million bucks. You do and I was made for you…."_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

Alex fell asleep on Piper's shoulder. Piper was worried about Liam but now she was worried about Alex too. What had happened to her today to put that look of desperation in her eyes? She hadn't asked her to sing to her in ages and when she did it tonight, Piper felt a little bit of her heart break. She had looked so lost and her tone so helpless. She didn't know what in the hell was going on but she promised herself she would find out.

Liam started squirming and whimpering so Piper eased herself away from Alex so she could get up with him before he woke her. Taking him into the kitchen, she fixed him a bottle and tried to get him to eat. He wanted nothing to do with it. By now his whimpers had become cries. Putting him on her shoulder, she softly spoke to him and patted his back. Thinking maybe he needed a diaper change, she took him to change him. That didn't appease him either. His cries were escalating to wails. Taking him back into the living room, she started walking him from one end of the room to the other, talking to him the whole time.

"What is it baby boy? What's the matter? I don't know what to do baby. Shhh, it's ok. Shhhh Mommy's got you."

It must have been a half hour or so when Alex came down the hallway. "Hey babe, how long has he been like this?" she asked Piper.

"About 30 minutes I think. He feels hot now Al and I think his nose is running." Piper told her.

"Did you give him the Tylenol?"

"No, not yet. Will you get it please? I don't know what to do with him. I can't get him to calm down. I tried a bottle and changing him. I've walked nonstop…" Piper said, frustration and worry showing.

"Pipes, shhh. I'll get the Tylenol but you gotta calm down too, babe. I'll be right back. Why don't you go try rocking him?" Alex said as she left the room.

Taking Liam into his room, Piper sat with him in the rocker. His face was screwed up and he was crying in earnest now. Piper felt tears rising in her own eyes. Her poor baby; she really didn't know what to do. "Baby, shhh. Come on baby boy, calm down a little bit. I've got you. Shhh." Piper cried with him.

Alex came in to a crying Liam and a sobbing Piper. "Hey, hey…shhh. Here, let me take him." Alex said, taking Liam. She put him on the changing table and got the Tylenol ready. Giving it to him, she picked him back up and went over to Piper, who was still sitting in the chair crying. "Get up Pipes." she told her.

"I'm sorry Alex. My heart hurts for him. Obviously he is in pain or doesn't feel good and I just don't know what to do. I feel so helpless…" Piper cried harder.

"Babe, get up. Come on, up" Alex said, taking Piper by the hand and gently pulling.

Piper got up and Alex sat down in the chair in her place. Putting Liam up on her shoulder, she patted her lap, indicating she wanted Piper to sit in her lap. Piper sat and Alex handed Liam to her. Pulling Piper's legs up to curl in her lap too, Alex wrapped her arms around them both and started rocking. "It's gonna be okay guys. Mama's got you both now. I'm right here."

Alex held them both and rocked them into the wee hours of the morning. Liam calmed somewhere around three but Alex never let them go and never stopped rocking. She rubbed Piper's hair and told them stories of her own childhood. Some of it was good but a lot of it was bad, but hearing Alex's voice calmed Piper much the same as Piper's singing earlier had calmed Alex.

/

It had been an incredibly long night. Liam was finally asleep, though it wasn't a restful sleep. Piper was sleeping and Alex was just starting to doze off when she heard her phone ring. Letting out a few colorful words, she jumped from the bed and grabbed it before it had a chance to ring again. It was Nicky.

"I swear to God Nichols, if you wake Liam or Piper up, I will hunt you down and I will force a brush through your hair and then I will tie you to a chair and force you to watch hetero porn!" she growled into the phone.

"Good morning to you too Vause. Rough night?" Nicky said

"The worst. I think Liam is getting sick. He ran a fever and cried all night which got Piper upset. They are finally sleeping and I would like to sleep with them before it starts again. Now, if you don't mind, say what you need to say so I can hang up and crawl back in bed with my family."

"Well, this isn't going to make your day. Those paintings arrived this morning, two days late might I add. Anyway, a couple of the paintings are damaged. I'm not sure what to do here Vause. You want me to send them back?" Nicky asked

"Fuck me. Fuck! No, you can't send them back. Fuck, fuck, fuck…give me 30 minutes, I'll be down. Do not touch those paintings, do not let that fucking delivery boy leave your sight, do you hear me?" she yelled.

"I hear ya Vause. We'll all be here."

Slipping back into their bedroom and getting dressed, she was relieved to see Piper and Liam still sleeping. She leaned over and lightly kissed them both. She jotted down a note and left it next to Piper's phone and left for the gallery.

Upon arriving there, she found a terrified delivery boy, a smirking Nicky and three more than damaged paintings. Looking from one to the other she pushed her glasses to the top of her head and rubbed her eyes. "Before I lose my shit all over this place, someone better explain to me what the hell happened. Those are not damaged Nicky, those damn paintings are destroyed! Do you have any idea how much this is going to cost me? I don't have time for this!" Alex's voice echoed through the silence of the gallery. No one moved. No one uttered a word.

"Well? Someone better start talking" Alex said

"I don't know Vause. I noticed the crates were cracked down one side and busted on the other. So I made him open them up and that's what I found." Nicky stammered out.

Looking to the delivery boy, Alex raised her eyebrow. "James, is it? James, how do you justify delivering me busted products? Do you not check your inventory before you leave with them? Or are you so worried about getting home to scratch your balls, belch beer and watch sports that you don't even bother anymore?"

"No ma'am…I mean yes ma'am…I mean. Shit. No, I didn't check them today because I'm covering for someone. He said he looked at everything before I got there and everything checked out. I'm sorry this happened ma'am." The poor boy was near tears.

"Get out of here. Both of you. I'll fix this. James, before you go, I want you to leave the name and number to your immediate supervisor and I also want the name of the person you are covering for." She told them.

"Alex, come on…you need-" Nicky started.

"What I need is to not have just lost over a hundred thousand dollars. But I did. And now I'll deal with it. I need sleep but that isn't happening any time soon. I need for you to go home Nicky. I work better alone when I'm angry. Please, just go."

Looking at her for a few moments longer, Nicky turned to go. Sighing, Alex walked over to the paintings and looked more closely. Yep, definitely destroyed. She needed to call the artist; Hembro she thought was her name. First she needed to get them moved into the back. Walking the first one into the back, she thought she heard something out front but saw nothing when she went back for the other painting. 'Maybe just Nicky finally leaving', she thought. Taking the second one to the back and going back for the third, she stopped in her tracks when she saw Fahri leaning against the wall.

"Hello Alex. Nice place. I assume you acquired it through money you hid from the feds? How much did you go home to?" he asked with a smile.

"Fuck you. I told you yesterday I was out and to leave me alone." She said

"Keep saying that to me and I might try to take you up on that Alex" he sneered.

Alex paled and took a step back. "Leave Fahri. There's nothing for you here."

"Really Alex, there's no need to be afraid of me. You know your blood isn't rich enough for me. I prefer my women born into her money." He told her. "You say there is nothing for me, that you are 'out' but you don't really mean that do you Alex? The only 'out' you are, is out of the closet. Come on, we worked so well together! We could be even better if you and I were calling all the shots. Just think of it. You and me, traveling the world again. Money. Power. Women. Control. We could do this, we will take the eastern world by storm! Move into places we never dreamed of before. I know you miss it. I know you crave that rush just like I do." He said to her.

Alex closed her eyes against the onslaught of memories rushing at her. She didn't want this. She had everything she wanted and needed waiting on her at home. She worked hard to be the person she was today. She nearly killed herself to be the person Piper deserved. They had Liam and he was their whole world. She did not want this.

"Leave Fahri. I won't help you. Ever." She told him.

"I'll leave my number on the desk. You'll call me. People like you and me, we can't go clean. The danger is in our blood. I'll speak with you soon." Turning on his heel, he left as quickly as he appeared. Alex sagged against the wall and dropped her head to her chest. Running her hands through her hair, she shook her head from side to side. Why was this happening now? She was different now…wasn't she?

Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, she pulled it out and saw that it was Piper. "Babe, hey. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. There was a problem…"

"Alex, I think he's worse. He's coughing and his cheeks are red. He still won't eat. I think we need to take him to the emergency room" Piper cut in.

"Go, now. Leave. I'll catch a cab and meet you there." Alex told her.

/

Alex rushed through the doors of the emergency room and went to the nurse sitting behind the desk. "Hi, I'm Alex Vause. My wife was bringing our son, Liam Vause in. Are they here? Have they been taken back yet?" she asked.

"If you will have a seat over there, I'll get back with you in a moment. We're really busy today." The nurse told her.

Alex slammed her hand down on the counter, making the nurse jump. "No I am not sitting down to wait for you to forget about me! My son is sick! My wife was bringing him in. Look on that screen and tell me if they are here yet!" Alex yelled.

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she whirled around to find Piper. "Pipes…babe. Hey little man. Come here." Taking Liam from Piper, she pulled Piper to her side. "I just got here, how long have you been here?" Alex asked, kissing her on the ear.

"We've been here about ten minutes. I was walking back from the restroom when I heard you yelling. Really Alex, you have to be more patient with these things. They _are_ really busy today." Piper admonished her.

"Oh shit on patience Piper. He is sick. He is an infant. He needs to be seen instead of sitting out here with all these other sick people and catching God knows what!"

They Heard Liam's name called then and went back to the triage room. The nurse asked questions and Piper answered them. Soon they were moved into a curtained cubicle and settled in to wait for the doctor. Nearly 30 minutes later, he walked in and asked the same questions the nurse did. Alex was furious. "Do you read your chart? All the answers are right there in front of you! Can you please just figure out what's going on with him?"

The doctor looked at her blankly then turned to Piper to explain what he was going to do. He checked Liam, listening to his heart and lungs; looked in his ears, up his nose and in his mouth. He asked a few new questions and said he would be back when the labs were in.

"Unbelievable! He acts like I'm not even here!" Alex grumbled after he left.

"Maybe if you were nicer to people they would pay attention to you Alex" Piper said to her.

Taking Liam again, Alex started walking around the small space with him. She bounced him and talked softly to him while Piper sat and watched them. Getting up, Piper went to Alex and put her hands on her shoulders. Forcing Alex to look her in the eye, she waited her out. Feeling Alex relax some, Piper pulled her in and hugged them both close. "Let me hold us now. It's ok. They are going to figure out what's going on and he will be better soon. Okay?"

Alex let out a breath and nodded. She lay her head down on Piper's shoulder and let herself be held for a moment. Piper rubber her back with one hand and placed her other hand on Liam's back. She would be the strong one for them now. After a few minutes Alex straightened. Kissing Piper softly, she turned when she heard the door open.

"Good news ladies, Liam just has a cold and I'm sure some teething issues going on. Run a vaporizer for him for the next couple of days, keep giving him Tylenol regularly. Don't force formula on him right now. Get him some Pedialyte and try that tonight. He won't starve but you should be cautious of dehydration. Oh and stay home with him. There's a lot going around right now and he could easily catch something worse."

Alex sat down in the chair heavily. Piper thanked the doctor and went to Alex. "See? He's going to be ok. Let's take him home. I'll run out and get a vaporizer for him if you want to stay home with him? I'll pick up something form the deli to eat too. Looks like you were one up with the Pedialyte" Piper smiled at her.

"Yeah, let's go home" Alex mumbled.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13**_

By Sunday night Liam wasn't any better. No one slept more than a few hours the entire weekend. Liam just couldn't get comfortable, his fever never broke and Piper thought his cough was getting worse. She felt like a zombie and Alex was acting like one. She was ill with everyone; the only person she seemed to have patience with was Liam. In fact, Piper thought he was the only person she wanted to be around, period. Looking down at Liam, she saw that he was finally sleeping and she went to lay him in his bed. Once she had him down, she went to the bedroom and found no Alex. Frowning, she went into the bathroom and found her there in the tub.

"Hey, I finally got him down. I hope he sleeps a while this time. Poor kid has to be exhausted, I know we are." Piper said to her, sitting on the edge of the tub. Alex didn't answer her. "Alex? You okay baby?"

Shaking her head a little, Alex looked at Piper and reached out to caress her leg. "Pipes…you know…I…listen. No matter what happens with me, ever, please know that I love you more than life itself. I want you by my side always. You and Liam are my heart and soul. Okay? Can you remember that?" Alex said softly.

Searching Alex's eyes, Piper remembered a few nights ago, Alex begging her to sing to her and the way she had clung to her. Reaching out and running a hand down the side of her face, she cupped Alex's jaw. Rubbing her thumb over her bottom lip, Piper said "Alex, what is it baby? Please talk to me. Let me help you. Are you worried about Liam? Or is it something more?"

Grabbing Piper's hand and bringing it to her mouth, Alex kissed her palm then slid her cheek into it. "Promise me Pipes. Promise me that you will never, ever forget how much I love you and Liam." Alex said with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Come here." Piper mumbled and sank into the bath with her, clothes and all. Hooking her legs over Alex's, she pulled Alex to her and held on. Rubbing and squeezing everywhere she could touch, she kissed Alex's hair and said "Of course I'll remember. I love you so much, Al. I don't ever want to wake up without you. I am complete with you and Liam. But baby, you have to tell me what's happened. You're scaring me."

Alex was silent as she held on to Piper. She couldn't get her close enough. Burying her head in Piper's neck, she breathed her in and stored the scent away in her mind. "I don't know what's happening Piper. I just really need you to know how much I love you. And I need you to always remember that. And…there's nowhere I would ever rather be than right here with you." Alex said into Piper's neck.

"You're here Alex. I'm not going anywhere." Piper held Alex until she felt the water growing cold. Standing up, she pulled Alex up after her and stepped with her out of the tub. Taking her wet clothes off, she dried herself off, then turned to dry Alex off. Alex was standing there staring at her, tears swimming in her eyes.

"You are so beautiful." Alex choked out.

Piper wasn't really sure what to do with this Alex. Trying to get them on even ground again, she raised her eyebrow and said "If you call sacks of sand under the eyes, greasy hair, two inch roots and bloodshot eyes beautiful, we need to get your eyes checked again Vause"

Laughing a little, Alex just shook her head. "Really Piper, you're beautiful. I'm going to bed, we should sleep when he does, right?"

"Right. I'll be there in a minute. I love you Alex." Piper said.

Stopping in the doorway, Alex turned to her…"I heart you Kid."

/

Liam was up by midnight and stayed up the rest of the night. He coughed, he cried and he coughed some more. By 8:00 am, Piper and Alex had decided he needed to be seen again. His fever had steadily gotten higher throughout the night. He wasn't even taking the Pedialyte now. Alex called Dr. Hosford's office and she was told to bring him in right away. Rushing to around to get ready, neither of them heard or saw the text come through on Piper's phone.

Alex went down to get the car and bring it up so they wouldn't have to have Liam out in the cold any more than necessary. Checking the diaper bag one more time, Piper remembered to grab her phone. Checking it, she saw she had a text from a number she didn't recognize.

**555-874-9023: **_Piper, it's Larry. Please meet me. We need to talk. It's urgent._

**P: **_No way Larry! Alex will have a stroke if she finds out you contacted me! Besides, Liam is sick and we're taking him to the doctor._

**555-874-9023: **_Meet me afterwards then Piper. It's really important. Listen to me, Alex isn't who you think she is. She never has been!_

**P: **_Oh Jesus, here we go again. Larry, back off. I don't have time for this. Just leave us alone._

Hearing another text come through from him, she didn't even bother to check it. She deleted the entire conversation and went down to meet Alex. Reaching the lobby, she saw Alex waiting through the glass door. She was on the phone with someone and she appeared to be yelling at them. 'I wonder who she's talking to' Piper asked herself.

Seeing Piper come out the door, she said "I can't talk anymore." and disconnected the call. Smiling at Piper when she opened the door to put Liam in, Alex took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. So much was happening and it was happening too fast. "Babe, why don't you sit back there with him?" she said to Piper, reaching back to rub Liam on the head.

"Who were you talking to?" Piper asked her

Freezing for half a beat, Alex shook her head and said it was no one important and pulled out into traffic.

/

They sat in the doctor's office for only a few minutes before they were called back. Their favorite nurse, Heidi, came in and took Liam's temperature. Poking her bottom lip out, she said "It's 103.2. This is pretty high for my favorite little guy. What's been going on with him? When did it start?"

Alex filled her in on them coming home Friday afternoon and him feeling slightly warm and him being worse Saturday morning and them taking him to the ER around noon. She told her the doctor there said it was just a cold and to put a vaporizer in the room with him and give him Tylenol regularly. Heidi wrote all of it down and said she would be back in a bit with more Tylenol and that Dr. Hosford would be in soon.

Dr. Hosford came in quickly. He checked Liam's ears, looked up his nose, looked in his mouth and listened to his heart and lungs while listening to his chest, a frown creased his brow. "When did you say he started getting sick?"

Piper told him and said the cough didn't start until Saturday but had progressively gotten worse.

"Has he eaten? When was the last wet diaper he had?" Dr. Hosford asked them

Piper looked at Alex and blinked. Wet diaper? Alex looked back at Piper with a confused look on her face. She honestly couldn't remember when the last wet diaper she'd changed was. Early Sunday morning maybe? She knew he didn't have one last night or this morning.

Piper spoke up and said "I'm not really sure to be honest. I think the last one I changed was yesterday morning. He hasn't had a full bottle of formula since Friday afternoon. Just an ounce or two here and there since then. Up until early this morning, he's been taking a good bit of Pedialyte. The doctor in the ER said it was okay for him to have that, he said Liam would eat when he got hungry enough. Did we do something wrong?"

"No, no, you did nothing wrong. I just need to know. Alex, can you remember changing a wet diaper recently?" he asked

"No…not since early Sunday morning. Then again, I can't be completely sure. We're all exhausted. Poor little guy doesn't sleep for more than an hour at a time." Alex answered.

"Alright, I'm going to send him down for X-Rays and have Heidi come prick his heel. You both can go down with him. Heidi will take you down." He said, leaving the room.

Piper turned to Alex, a terrified look on her face. "Al, what…what's going on? Did we do this?"

"I don't think so. They are just trying to figure things out Kid. One step at a time. We gotta be strong for him. Don't fall apart on me now." she said, pulling Piper and Liam to her. Heidi came in then and looked at them sympathetically.

"I remember the first time my oldest really got sick. I felt like the worst mom on the planet. Like I should have known it was coming and prevented it or something. Then I thought everything I'd been doing is what made him sick. Listen, kids get sick. It's life. Just wait til he starts kindergarten. This is not your fault, not by any means." She assured them.

She pricked his heel and then led them down to X-Ray. She had them put on jackets and let them stand on either side of him while the tech took the X-Rays that were ordered. Soon they were being led back to the room and Liam was crying again. The more he cried, the more congested he sounded. Piper was really getting worried now. He seemed to be getting worse by the hour.

After about a 35 minute wait, Dr. Hosford came back into the room. He had a concerned look on his face. Reading the chart one more time, he looked up at Piper and Alex and sighed. "Ladies, I'm afraid Liam is a sick little boy. He has RSV and is dehydrated. I think it's best that we go ahead and send you over to the hospital to be admitted so they can get an IV going and get him in an oxygen tent."

Piper burst into tears right along with Liam and Alex felt her heart drop to her feet. Her Little Man…


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14**_

_Who's gonna break my fall  
When the spinning starts  
The colors bleed together and fade  
Was it ever there at all  
Or have I lost my way  
The path of least resistance  
Is catching up with me again today_

Liam was in the hospital for three days. Alex was desperately afraid the entire time. She teetered on the ledge of something dark every minute spent in the hospital. Dark thoughts raced through her mind and she ached for peace. Though the doctors assured them that Liam was getting better and he was going to be okay, Alex was terrified to believe them. Once again, all the plans she had laid out for herself was spinning out of control until she couldn't find a place to land. She didn't sleep, she barely ate and she hardly spoke to Piper. Piper would hold her and tell her everything was going to be fine. Alex wished like hell she could just open up and tell her everything but telling her everything meant telling her about Fahri too and she knew she couldn't do that. She had a fragile hold on her reality right now and Piper knowing about Fahri would shatter that.

Somehow Fahri had gotten her number and would send the random text. What he offered was so tempting on one hand. Alex knew she could say yes and lose herself in everything he held out to her. But on the other hand, losing herself also meant loosing Liam and Piper and that was something she just couldn't fathom. Though she was scared and a small part of her was torn, she knew that Liam and Piper were her answers to everything. If she would just hold on, they were her anchors.

Piper watched Alex as she absently navigated traffic. She was lost in thought and just going through the motions. For the millionth time, Piper wondered what was going on with her. She as trying her best to wait her out but she was losing patience. She didn't want to fight with her, especially after the stress of the weekend and Liam being in the hospital for three days, but she could feel it brewing within her. They promised each other when she got out of SHU there would be no more walls and no more lies. But Piper could feel the walls Alex was erecting just as sure as she could feel the cold wind on her face when she walked outside.

Reaching over, she pushed a lock of Alex's hair behind her ear and rubbed the back of her fingers down her cheek. "Where are you baby?" Piper gently asked her.

Cutting her eyes to Piper, then back to the traffic ahead, Alex shrugged her shoulders. "Nowhere really. Just thinking. I'm really glad we're going home. I'll drop you and Liam off and then go out and get his medicines. I'll bring everything up with me when I come."

"Okay. But when you get home, can we please talk? Just you and me? I feel like there's been so much going on and we've been running in so many different directions with Liam being sick that we just haven't connected like we should. We had an amazing night and then everything went to hell. I miss you." Piper said

"Sure Kid, whatever you want. I shouldn't be long. Anything you want me to pick up while I'm out?" Alex asked as she pulled up to the curb in front of their building.

Piper looked at her for a long minute before shaking her head. "Just you. I just want you to come home to us."

Alex caught the double meaning behind Piper's statement and swallowed a lump before leaning over to kiss her. "I'll see you soon. Get him inside quickly. Love you."

Piper got Liam out of the car and watched Alex pull back into the street. Sighing, she turned and went into the building. She heard him before she saw him and she cringed. What the hell could he possibly want now?

"Piper! Wait up! I think they were about to make me sign a lease on this place." Larry laughed as he jogged over to her. "Where have you been? I've come by every single day to see you and you were never here and you never came back."

"What are you doing here Larry? Not that it's any of your business, but Liam's been in the hospital. We've been there with him." Piper said in an irked tone.

"Is this the little guy? Can I meet him?" Larry took a step closer to them.

Piper took a step back and turned so that her body was between Larry and Liam. "Absolutely not! What are you doing here? What part of leave us alone did you not understand Larry?" Piper demanded.

"Piper, we have to talk. Can we not do this here? I would really like less of an audience."

"I would like a lot of things, namely you leaving me the hell alone. But it doesn't look like I'm getting what I want any time soon so I don't see why you should get what you want either. Spit it out and go away, Larry." Piper said.

Taking a deep breath through his nose, Larry looked around them before looking back at Piper. "Alright, fine. You aren't safe with Alex anymore Piper. I tried to mind my own business and walk away but I just couldn't. We were together for a long time Piper. I loved you very much. I…I still do. And I want to help you; protect you. Just come with me and hear me out."

"Are you serious? Please tell me you are joking. This is the most asinine thing I've ever heard you say! And that's saying a lot Larry. Who are you?" Piper shook her head and turned to walk away from him.

Larry grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back around to face him. Piper, wait! She threatened me Piper. She said she would kill me if I ever went near you again. She's a killer Piper! Do you want your son raised around someone like that?"

Piper was staring at him in disbelief when there was a flurry of movement and then Larry was knocked on his ass.

/

Walking into their building, Alex looked up from her phone just in time to see Larry grabbing Piper's arm. Fury rose in her and she dropped everything in her hands and took off across the lobby. Slamming into Larry, she punched out with one hand and pushed him away from Piper and Liam with the other. Larry landed on his ass at her feet. Standing over him, chest heaving, she raised her hand again when she felt Piper's hand on her arm. "Alex! NO! Not here. He was just leaving. Come on, let's go upstairs. He won't bother us again. Come on." She said, pulling Alex by the arm.

Alex took a step back then shrugged Piper off of her arm and took two steps towards Larry again. Leaning down so that only he could hear her, she hissed in his face "You are one dumb mother fucker. I told you what would happen if you ever came near my family again. You better get ready asshole, I will ruin you for this." With that, she shoved him again and stomped towards Piper. taking Piper's face in her hands, she searched her face for signs of pain or distress. Kissing her softly, she ran her hand down her arm and grabbed her hand. Looking at Liam, she brushed her free hand down his back.

"Are you okay?" she asked Piper softly.

"I'm fine. Can we please just go upstairs now?" Piper asked

"Sure. Come on." Letting go of Piper, she took Liam and started towards the elevators. Remembering her things, she doubled back and went for them. Looking to her left, she saw Larry being helped up and she smirked at him. Larry looked over at her then and Alex mouthed "You lose" to him. He paled and left the building in a rush. Retrieving her things, she went back to Piper and together they went upstairs.

Once inside their apartment, Alex put Liam in his swing and went to the kitchen to find something to eat. She was suddenly starving. Piper followed her in there and watched her. Sensing Piper in the room with her, Alex turned and smiled at her. "You sure you're ok? He didn't hurt you when he grabbed your arm, did he?" Alex asked her.

"No. No, he didn't hurt me. He said some things, but he didn't hurt me." Piper replied

"What did he say, Pipes? That man really is stuck on stupid. He has a lot of nerve showing up here. Do you want something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine. He um..he said…he said I wasn't safe with you anymore. That you threatened to kill him if he ever came near me again. Then he told me he still loved me and he wanted to protect me." Piper stammered out.

Dropping the knife and the apple she was about to cut, she looked up at Piper. "He said what?"

"Did you? Alex? Did you threaten to kill him the day you saw him? In the coffee shop?" Piper asked softly. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer but she had to ask.

"No! Piper, no. I told you what I said to him. I told him I could fuck him up in ways that would make him WISH he were dead. I never said I was going to kill him. You know I'm not that kind of person. Not only would it put me at risk of going back to prison, but it would hurt you and I couldn't be responsible for that."

Nodding her head, Piper rushed around the bar and grabbed Alex around the waist, hugging her close and holding on tight. "I didn't believe him Alex. I didn't want to anyway but a part of me got so scared when he said it. I could almost see it happening. You get so angry when it comes to him…I…please promise me that you will stay away from him. I think he's gone crazy or something." Piper pleaded with her.

"I'll stay away from him Piper. I can do a lot to someone without ever going near them." Alex replied vaguely.

"I don't want to know. Just don't go near him and don't do anything to get you taken away from me." Piper said into her neck.

Alex pulled her tighter to her and murmured her agreement. Alex's phone went off just then and Alex released Piper to check it. Reading the text, she told Piper she needed to make a call and went down the hall to their bedroom. Piper could hear her quietly talking to whoever it was as she went into the living room with Liam. He had fallen asleep in his swing. Smiling at him, she gently took him from the swing and went to rock him a bit before putting him in his bed.

Later that night, Piper got a call from Polly. The news made her sick to her stomach. She clutched the phone, then dropped it. Alex was up in an instant by her side. Picking up the phone, she spoke briefly to Polly, then hung up. Slowly looking at Piper, she took her chin in her hand and lifted Piper's face up. "What happened? Talk to me Pipes."

"He's dead. Larry is dead." Piper strangled out.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: two today to make up for not posting yesterday :)**

_**Chapter 15**_

"Oh my…God. Are you serious? What happened? He was just here a few hours ago!" Alex said.

"I don't know what happened. They found his body in an ally this afternoon a few blocks from here. They think maybe a mugging gone wrong. But here? In this neighborhood?" Piper whispered

Remembering their earlier conversation and Alex excusing herself to make a phone call, Piper looked at her, her eyes widening. "Alex…"

"What? What Piper?" Alex looked at her face and felt defeat seeping into her bones. She knew without asking another question that Piper thought she had something to do with it. "You think I had something to do with this?"

When Piper only continued to stare at her, Alex dropped her arms and backed away from Piper. "I see. Obviously nothing I said to you earlier sank in. Do you really think that of me? Think that I'm capable of murder or having someone murdered? That I value life so little that I would strip it from someone? I've had my life stripped from me, we both have, remember? And no matter how much I hate someone, I couldn't do that to another person. Not even Larry Fucking Bloom. Yea, I was going to mess a few things up for him to teach him a lesson but no way…I can't believe this."

"Alex…I don't…I didn't…No Alex, that's not what I was thinking. Alex, what if you're questioned? There were multiple witnesses to your altercation in the lobby. And I don't know what you said to him but anyone could make something up. You have a record, they could make things very hard for you if they wanted to." Piper said, reaching out to her.

Alex took another step back. "Nice try Kid. Sometimes you forget how well I know you. You went there. Maybe it was only for a second but you went there in your mind." Crossing her arms over her chest, Alex backed up another step. "Do you even know me at all Piper?"

Pier looked at her searching for the right words. "I thought I did. But lately you've been so cut off from me. You won't talk to me. You barely let me touch you…"

Alex interrupted her, "Liam has been sick and in the hospital Piper! I hardly think it's been the appropriate time to initiate sex!"

"I'm not talking about sex! I try to hold your hand and you pull it away. I try to hold you and you stiffen or step away from me. You're full of secrets right now! Something is going on with you, I've been patient and tried to wait for you to process and tell me but enough is enough. I'm tired of waiting! Talk to me! Just fucking tell me! I'm a big girl, I can handle it! Are you tired of this? Of us? Is being a mom too much for you?" Piper yelled as scalding tears gathered in her eyes and threatened to pour over.

"No! God no, never Piper! That's not…never that. It's difficult…I don't want to worry you. I can handle this." Alex stepped closer to Piper.

"What is _this _Alex? I want to help you but I can't if you won't talk to me. We promised no more lies and no more walls but you've built a wall between us and damn if I know how to get through it." Piper shot back.

Cocking her head to the side, her own tears spilling down her cheeks, Alex reached out to touch Piper's face. "If I don't tell you, I don't have to lie to you Pipes. I'm desperately trying not to put either of us in that position. Please understand. Please let me handle this and keep you from it."

Knocking Alex's hand away, Piper stepped around her and headed towards the door. "Get away from me Alex."

"Piper…Piper don't leave!" Alex cried.

"I'm not leaving. But I can't be around you right now. Not until you tell me the truth. I'll sleep on the day bed in Liam's room. But I swear to God if you don't leave me alone I will take him and I will leave." Turning, Piper left the room. Alex just stood there, tears falling from her chin to her chest. Everything was really falling down around her now and it was all because Fahri had shown up and she wanted to protect Piper from that. The pull had been strong but seeing Larry with his hand on Piper had shown her clearly that she could never leave Piper and Liam. She knew no matter where she went or what she did, she would never be complete without them. They were everything she needed and wanted; she just had to figure out how to get rid of Fahri without putting them at risk.

Turning to the bed, she crawled in and set about coming up with a plan. She was good at planning. Once focused on a problem, she could come up with a perfect plan and flawlessly execute it. But with Piper in the other room and mad at her, she had a hard time concentrating on anything. She wanted to go to her and take her in her arms and hold her all night. But she knew Piper and she knew Piper meant it when she said she would take Liam and leave. Oh she would be back but Alex couldn't stand the thoughts of watching them walk out the door.

Hours into the night, Alex was still tossing and turning. She just couldn't sleep without touching Piper in some way. Rolling onto her stomach, she punched the pillow and flung her head down onto it. Sliding her foot out from under the cover, she tried to get comfortable. In the middle of her wiggling and squirming, she heard the squeak of the door opening. Leaning up on her elbows, she turned her head towards the door. She felt rather than saw Piper moving across the room. She heard her sniffle. Felt a dip in the bed next to her hip. The comforter pulled back. Then Piper was laying on top of her. Alex tried to turn over but Piper pressed her down. Alex's hands in hers, Piper put her head between Alex's shoulder blades. Alex could feel the wetness from Piper's tears. Sighing, Alex gripped Piper's fingers and tangled their legs together. Adjusting her head on her pillow, she waited.

"I hate fighting with you Alex. It scares me more than anything when we do. I don't want to fight over this…whatever this is. Please find a way to let me in. I need you." she whispered into the darkness.

"I'm trying" was all Alex said back.

/

The next morning Alex woke up with Piper still wrapped around her. Looking at her as she slept, Alex thought about the hundreds of mornings she had woken exactly like this. Piper on her pillow, her mouth parted lightly. Some part of Piper's body wound around hers. How could she have ever thought she could live without this? That anything anyone else offered could even compare? With a new resolve to get rid of Fahri, she lifted Piper's leg and slid her own leg between, scooting closer. Piper adjusted to the new position and lifted her face into Alex's neck. Alex stroked her hair and enjoyed the moment. Soon, she felt Piper's breath on her neck change and she knew she was awake. "Morning" Alex mumbled.

Clutching Alex closer, she brushed her lips up her neck before murmuring good morning back to her. Trailing her lips along Alex's jaw, she slowly started to glide up and down Alex's leg. Alex let out a breath and brought her leg up tighter against Piper, applying more pressure. Piper let out a breathy moan as she captured Alex's lips in a soul searching kiss. Rolling Piper onto her back, Alex kept her thigh in place and ran her hand under Piper's shirt. Alex tried to pull back from the kiss, but Piper was having none of that and grabbed her by the head and held her in place. Her thrusts were getting faster now and Alex could tell by the small twitches and her breathing that she was getting close. Just as she was about to take her breast into her palm, Piper's phone went off.

"Fuck" Alex said into Piper's mouth.

"Son of a bitch. Hand me the phone, I'll get rid of whoever it is." Piper gasped out.

Rolling off of Piper, Alex reached for Piper's phone and her glasses. Handing Piper her phone, she slipped her glasses on and went to the bathroom to give Piper time to talk. She had seen Polly's name flashing on the phone as she handed it over. Finishing up in the bathroom, Alex went back out to the bedroom. Piper was propped up in bed staring off into space.

"Hey, you okay?" Alex asked.

Piper looked over at Alex and opened her arms. "Come here." Alex went to her. She crawled back under the blanket and settled between Piper's legs. Piper closed her arms around her and pulled her down to her chest. Alex closed her eyes and listened to Piper's heart beat; strong and steady.

"Alex, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about last night. I'm sorry I doubted you. Even for the millisecond that it was. I'm so sorry and I know there is nothing I can ever do to make up for that." Piper said into Alex's hair.

"I won't tell you it's okay Piper. I know that's what you want to hear. But I can't tell you that. Not right now. It hurt. It hurt like it did in the old days. What I can tell you is that I love you and I love Liam more than my own life and I will never willingly leave you. Ever." Alex said against her chest.

"Remember right after I had Liam and you told me that in your arms I was safe?" Alex nodded. "I've never felt more safe than when I am in your arms. I know that you will always protect me; us. But the same goes for you. You are safe in my arms and I will protect you. I will protect us when I need to." Piper said to her.

Alex was quiet for a while before speaking. "Piper…I know that. I do." Kissing the swell of Piper's breast, she asked "What did Polly want?"

"To let me know that a guy was picked up a couple hours ago for drunken disorderly conduct. He had Larry's wallet on him. Once they started questioning him, he spilled his guts. Apparently Larry grew some balls after getting his ass kicked by a girl and he tried to fight back. The guy stabbed him a few times and left him in the ally. So Larry's body will be released to his parents, if it hasn't already been and arrangements will be made." Piper told her.

"How does Polly know all this? I didn't think Pete and Larry talked anymore." Alex questioned.

"Oh they don't but my mom and Larry's mom still talk regularly and my mom called Polly and has been keeping her up to date." Said Piper.

"Maybe you should call your mom Pipes. If your moms are still close, I'm sure your mom is having a hard time with this. You don't have to do anything really, just call to let her know you're thinking of her?" Alex looked up at her as she said this.

"Maybe. I'll wait to see if Polly calls me with the arrangements, then make a decision. A lot has happened and I don't want to rock the boat for any of us anymore than it already has been." Piper replied. Alex was hoping that if she called her mom, it would take her mind off of the fight last night.

"Pipes, you know if you need to talk, y'know about Larry or whatever, you can talk to me. I'm no fan of his but I know you guys were together for a long time. This can't be easy for you. I've never really lost anyone but my mom so it doesn't really compare, but I can listen. And I can hold you." Alex told her.

Looking down, Piper took Alex by the jaw and pulled up slightly, bringing their mouths closer. Whispering on her lips "I love you" she kissed her softly, tenderly. Rolling Alex over, Piper deepened the kiss. Sliding down her body, she used Alex to chase away the demons from her mind.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 16**_

"Mother? It's Piper."

"Yes, Piper, I know who you are. I would like to think that I would recognize my own daughter's voice." Carol said to her.

Clamping her mouth shut, Piper bit back a harsh reply. Closing her eyes, she took deep breaths to calm herself. This was a mistake. She shouldn't have called her. Feeling Alex beside her, Piper reached for her hand. Alex took her hand between both of hers and brought them over to her lap, massaging Piper's hand. Feeling the tension in Piper's body, Alex leaned over and whispered in her ear "It's just Carol Chapman. She's just a bitter old woman. You're bigger than she is. You can do this. I'm right here. I got you."

Leaning into Alex, Piper started to relax. One more deep breath. "Mother, Polly called me about Larry. She told me you still talk to Larry's mom. I thought…I just thought I would call to see if you were doing okay."

"Really Piper, don't pretend to care. If you did, you would have still been with Larry and this would not have happened." Carol stated.

"Please, Mother. It was never about me caring for him. It was about me not caring in the way I _should._ I loved what he offered and what he represented, not who he _was._ Can we not get in to this right now? I just wanted to check on you." Piper told her.

"Piper…." Piper listened to her mother prattle on about mistakes and second chances. "Mother, do you know the arrangements yet? I would like to pay my respects. Then if you would like, we can meet and you can tell me all about my many mistakes and how I've lost my second chance at a good life. Though I think I have one right now. I just don't have the energy to do this now." Piper interjected.

"They have opted out of a visitation. The funeral will be Saturday afternoon at one at Park East Synagogue. If you come you better be on your best behavior Piper Elizabeth. You have put the poor Bloom's through enough without showing out at their son's funeral." Carol hung up the phone.

"Well…" Alex asked curiously.

"Oh you know, I missed my chance with him and I'm obviously going to cause a scene at the funeral. Great talk. The funeral is Saturday afternoon at one. Will you go with me? I'm pretty sure Polly will go too so if Liam is feeling alright, we can ask Nicky and Lorna to watch him for a little bit. If you're okay with that?" Piper said.

Brushing the hair back from Piper's face, Alex searched her eyes. "Are you sure you want me to go with you?"

"Yes, of course I am."

"I don't know if I can go in with you, but I will go there with you and I will wait for you if I can't go in. The only funeral I've ever been to was my mom's. I haven't done anything like it since. I never thought I would be in a position to have to. But I'll try for you." Alex said, leaning her forehead down to Piper's.

"Oh Alex, I didn't even think about that. I'm sorry. No, you don't have to go. I'll just ride with Polly. I'll be fine. I'll leave if I need to and I'll come straight home afterwards." Piper said, caressing Alex's face.

"No, you need me to go and I'll go. I'm not promising anything, but I will try."

/

Piper had a list two pages long of instructions and numbers for Nicky and Lorna. She didn't know if she was more nervous about leaving Liam with them or going to Larry's funeral. Either way, her nerves were nearly shot. She was dreading this but she felt she needed to go to get closure. Final closure. Alex had hired a car for them, not knowing what shape either of them would be in afterwards. Piper was so thankful that Alex was going with her. She'd told her several times that she didn't have to go but was relieved each time Alex told her she was going. Thinking about how sweet Alex had been the last few nights listening to her talk about Larry and their life together, Piper couldn't help the smile that crept across her face. She knew Alex hated hearing about it but she had suffered through it so Piper could work through her feelings.

As if she knew she was thinking about her, Alex appeared before her with a knowing look on her face. "Caught you daydreaming again, Kid. If you don't stop this, I'm gonna start thinking all this Larry talk has you fantasizing about dick again." Alex smirked.

"Jesus Alex, do you always have to be so crass?" Piper asked, looking down at the list one more time.

"I thought that was why you loved me? My mouth is so dirty and does all sorts of things…" Raising her eyebrow, Alex stepped closer to Piper and kissed her neck. "Relax Piper. You can do this. And if you decide you can't, we can leave. You just say it and we're outta there babe."

There was a knock at the door at the same time Alex's phone rang. Reaching into her pocket for her phone, she went to the door. Pulling her phone out of her pocket and looking at the screen, she stopped in mid stride. There was another knock at the door.

"Alex, who's on the phone? Are you going to answer the door? Or your phone? Al?" Piper asked her.

"What? Oh, I don't recognize the number. I was trying to think if I knew it. Door. Right." Opening the door to Nicky and Morello, she shuttled them inside as she sent the caller to voicemail. "I think Piper has a few things she wants to go over with you. But really, all you need to do is feed him in an hour, change him if he shits and call if you have any questions. I'll have my phone on me." Alex told them with a small laugh.

Piper went over everything on her list three times before she was satisfied. Nicky joked that she felt like she was preparing for an exam and Piper glared at her. "Okay, alright College. We will follow this to the letter and call with anything new or suspicious." Nicky reassured her.

They left soon after that. Piper was nervous and Alex was scared. She was really scared that she would shut down and wouldn't be able to be there for Piper if she needed her. She really didn't think she could go in there with her. Maybe she would just sit in the car. She remembered the day of her mom's funeral and felt her twist painfully in her chest. She had needed Piper so much then. She would have done anything, given anything to have had Piper by her side that day. She looked around all day for her thinking Piper would suddenly show up. It had never happened though.

They rode to the Synagogue in silence, each lost in their own memories. Piper stared out the window and thought of her time with Larry. He had been a good man to her and he had tried his best. He really had. But his best was never good enough. He just wasn't Alex and she had always known that. She had loved him in her own way but it was never a love like she had for Alex. Her love for Larry was calm and gentle; predictable; secure. But her love for Alex…wild and raging out of control from the moment they met. Nothing was ever the same with them, Alex always surprised her. She craved Alex in her bones. When they were apart, she ached for her. Alex consumed her. It was never like that with Larry.

Alex was looking out her own window wondering how she was going to make Piper go through this alone. She already felt guilty but she knew there was no way she could walk through those doors, feel all that sadness and not fall apart. Reaching out, she placed her hand on Piper's thigh and squeezed. Piper placed her hand on top of Alex's and squeezed back. Alex looked over at her as they pulled into the parking lot of the Synagogue. "Piper…I can't. I'm so sorry. But I won't leave this car. I'll be right here when you get done." She said through a throat that was clogged with emotion.

"I know. I knew when we left you wouldn't be able to do it. Thank you for coming with me though. I'll see you in a bit?" Piper said.

Humming her agreement, Alex leaned over and kissed Piper. "Be strong babe. I love you."

Piper got out of the car and went towards the steps. She saw Polly waiting there for her and felt a bit of relief wash over her. If she couldn't hold onto Alex during this, at least her best friend was there. Walking up the steps, she stopped in front of Polly. "Pete?" was all she said.

"He's inside saving us a seat. He's taking this pretty hard. Alex?" Polly asked her.

"She can't do it. She's in the car waiting for me though. I didn't think she would be able to do this. Too many memories of her mom, you know?"

Polly nodded her head and put her arm around Piper and led her inside. They saw Pete about half way down and went to sit beside him. Piper looked around the room and saw most of the friends she and Larry shared when they were together. She still spoke to some from time to time but not many. Most of them didn't understand how she could leave Larry and be with the person that sent her to prison and ruined her life. Those people looked at her like she had grown two heads when they spotted her. Piper stopped looking around and faced forward. She could do this. She felt Pete slide his arm around her and she leaned into his warmth.

The service was beautiful. Piper slipped out the back right before it was over. She'd done what she came to do. She'd paid her respects to Larry and said her final goodbyes in her own way. Winding her way through the parked cars, she spotted Alex standing outside their car watching her. Piper rushed into her embrace. Holding tight, she started to cry again. Alex made soothing noises and rubbed her back in slow circles. Alex held her until she saw people coming out of the Synagogue then eased her away. "Let's go home" she said simply.

Piper agreed and slid into the car next to Alex. Alex pulled her over next to her and tucked her up next to her side, pulling her legs across her lap. She kissed the top of her head and gently rubbed the back of her thigh. Piper put her arm around Alex's stomach, closed her eyes and started to talk. "I'm not crying for him Alex. It hit me in there that one day you will be gone too. And all I could think was I hope like hell I'm dead before that day. I know it's incredibly selfish but there is no way I could sit through that knowing that you were the one in the casket and you were never coming back to me. It's going to happen one day Alex. One day we will both be gone and we'll leave Liam all alone. I hope he has someone like you to love him through it."

"Piper, babe, don't think about that right now. I'm right here and I'm not planning to go anywhere for a long, long time. We will grow old and gray together. So old that we can't even…mmmph"

Alex was cut off by Piper's lips. Changing positions, Piper pulled her skirt up so that she could straddle Alex's lap. Alex grabbed ahold of Piper's hips while Piper continued her assault on her mouth. Her hands were everywhere. In her hair, down her front, clutching her hands, cupping her face. Piper pulled away and looked Alex in the eyes. Alex saw a storm raging in Piper's. "Remind me that we are alive, Alex. Make me feel…" Leaning in, she took Alex's mouth in another battering kiss. Her tongue darted in and out of her mouth, licked at her lips and bit. Alex pushed her tongue into Piper's mouth and Piper sucked on it, eliciting a groan from Alex. Piper started unbuttoning Alex's shirt but kept losing her grip. Getting frustrated, she took the sides of Alex's shirt and pulled, popping buttons open all the way down. "Shit Pipes, we still have to get out of the car and go in…" Alex protested.

"Shut up. Shut up and love me Alex." Piper said as she leaned down to bite at Alex's breast above her bra. Alex jumped at the contact of teeth on her skin and growled low in her throat. Grabbing the hem of Piper's skirt, she jerked it up so she had better access to her. She rubbed her knuckles up and down Piper's center, making Piper's breath hitch. "Is this what you want Piper? You want to feel me inside of you? Hmm?" she said against the column of her throat.

Piper was panting and gripping Alex by the shoulders. "Fuck…yes Alex." Her head falling back, she arched into Alex's hand. "Stop teasing me and fuck me" she begged.

Putting her hand behind Piper's back to better support her, she nudged Piper back some and pushed her underwear to the side. Rubbing her thumb over Piper's swollen clit, Alex leaned up and scraped her teeth down Piper's neck. Piper jerked her hips and ran a hand up into Alex's hair. Alex let out a low laugh and slammed two fingers into Piper. Piper's eyes rolled back in her head and she let out a long moan. "Ooohhh….yeeesssss."

Alex set a fast pace, pumping in and out hard. Piper was gasping for breath, one hand still tangled in Alex's hair and the other digging into her shoulder. Leaning forward, she took her hand from Alex's hair and grabbed her wrist, stilling her movements. Alex looked up, confused. "You ok? Am I hurting you?" she asked, concerned.

"Just be still, let me ride" Piper wheezed out. Gripping Alex's wrist, Piper moved her knees so that she could put her weight on them. Sliding up and down on Alex's fingers, Piper started making little grunting noises in the back of her throat. Pushing down on Alex's hand harder and harder she started grinding down on the heel of Alex's palm and said "Move your thumb, play with me." Alex leaned back and watched Piper. She looked delicious. Tiny beads of sweat popping up on her brow, her cheeks flushed, eyes closed and mouth parted; Alex could only admire the view. "Alex, thumb…" Piper panted. Smirking, Alex moved her thumb and began rubbing up and down and around and around on Piper's clit.

Piper moved faster and told Alex to move faster too. Alex did and leaned up and bit Piper's breast hard through her shirt. Piper made an animalistic sound and shuddered out her release. Alex rubbed at Piper until Piper went limp in her arms. Laying her head over on Alex's shoulder, she still held Alex's hand in place. "How far from home are we?" Piper asked into Alex's hair.

"A few more minutes, why?"

"Because I'm not done with you Vause."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 16**_

Piper eased off of Alex and moved to the side, adjusting her skirt as best she could. Alex looked down at her hand and laughed. Looking over, Piper laughed too. Alex started to wipe her hand on her pants but Piper grabbed it before she could. Bringing Alex's hand to her mouth, she licked it clean, then leaned over and kissed Alex, sharing her taste with her. Alex groaned and pushed Piper back into the seat. She was laying half on top of Piper when they felt the car come to a halt. Breaking the kiss, she licked at Piper's lips and said "You're not the only one who isn't done Pipes."

Piper felt a small tremor pass through her body. She pressed up into Alex and Alex pressed back. "We gotta go, Kid. Nicky and Lorna are up there with Liam. What are the chances he's actually taking a nap right now?" Alex asked with a laugh.

"If he isn't, I bet I can get him down fast. He usually naps this time of day anyway, plus he's still tired from being sick." Piper told her.

Sitting up, they both put themselves back together. Alex had to hold her shirt together and she couldn't decide if she was incredibly turned on by that or slightly miffed. Thinking back to how Piper had looked in her lap and how hot she felt in her hand, she decided on incredibly turned on. Feeling herself swell even more, she smirked. Definitely turned on.

Getting out of the car, they zig zagged their way through the people and went inside. Waiting for the elevator, Piper looked over at Alex and tried to hide her smile. Alex could feel Piper's eyes on her and pursed her lips to hold her smile back. Not able to take it any longer, Piper burst into a fit of giggles. Alex snorted. Piper's laughter grew and soon she was leaning on Alex, covering her mouth to try to quiet herself. Alex was shaking with quiet laughter.

Pulling herself together somewhat, Piper said "Do you remember when we were down in Miami…"

"…and you had to walk back to the hotel wrapped up in a towel because I tore your dress in half trying to get my mouth on you?" Alex finished for her.

"Yeah…" Piper looked at Alex and felt her body flush with heat again. Slipping her arm through Alex's, she leaned her head over on her shoulder. "We had some amazing times, didn't we Al?"

"We sure did, Kid. If that car ride says anything, we still do." Alex said, cocking her eyebrow.

Piper looked back up at her and slowly took her hand and ran it up under Alex's shirt. Rubbing her stomach, Piper watched Alex's face. Gradually letting her hand travel higher, Piper was leaning up to kiss Alex on the cheek when the elevator doors opened. Closing her eyes in frustration, Piper let Alex lead her onto the waiting car. Alex hit the button for their floor as Piper stepped up behind her. She wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled her back against her. Waiting for a few floors to pass, Piper reached out and hit the stop button.

Alex stayed perfectly still and waited to see what Piper would do. Piper slid one hand under her shirt again and cupped her breast. The other hand played at the waist of Alex's pants, rubbing and dipping in. Piper leaned up on her toes and bit Alex's shoulder. Pushing her hand lower, she found Alex had no underwear on. "Fuck baby, you know I think that's so hot" Piper rasped in her ear. Alex moaned and grabbed the hand on her breast, pushing it harder against her.

Creeping slowly further into Alex's pants, Piper was soon met with wet heat. Sliding her fingers around the outside of Alex's lips, she lightly squeezed. Alex put her hand on the wall to steady herself. "God Pipes…" she said in a husky voice. Piper smiled and moved her finger further down, then drug one up through Alex's slit, stopping just shy of her clit. Sliding her finger back down and then up again, she finally connected with Alex's hard nub. Rubbing slowly with one hand, she squeezed Alex's breast with the other. She felt Alex getting wetter and hotter. Kissing her on the side of the neck, she pulled her hands away and stepped back, saying "Something to look forward to…"

"Fucking-A Pipes…" Alex ground out.

Laughing, Piper hit the button and the elevator started to rise again.

/

Liam was sleeping when they got in and Piper went back to check on him while Alex talked with Nicky and Morello. Seeing that he was fine, she walked back into the living room. She thanked them and told them she was going to take a bath and lay down herself. Leaving Alex to get rid of them, she went to their room and stripped, then lay across the bed. She waited a good ten minutes and could still hear the girls out in the living room talking and laughing. Grabbing her phone, she sent Alex a text.

**P: **_Get rid of them Al. I want my mouth on you. We have to hurry_

A few seconds later, she got Alex's reply:

**A: **_trying. Wut r u gonna do w that mouth?_

**P: **_I'm going to fuck you with it_

**A: **_need more thn tht kid. tell me how_

**P: **_you're going to sit on the edge of the bed. I'm going to spread your legs and bury my face in your pussy. I'm going to lick you and suck you. Then I'll bury my fingers deep in you and right before you cum, I'm going to stop. i want you tied up and at my mercy. Remember the only other time you let me tie you up? I'm not the only squirter in this family. Bet I can make it happen again. Fucking get rid of them..._

**A: **_fuck_

Laughing, Piper heard Alex say something to the girls and the door shut. Alex appeared in the doorway and started shedding clothes. "They said Liam's only been down about 30 minutes or so, so we've got some time. And I think we're gonna need it." Alex said as her last piece of clothing dropped to the floor.

Rising up on the bed on her knees, Piper pulled Alex to her. Kissing across her collar bone, she ran her hand down Alex's body and cupped her. Alex spread her legs more and gripped the back of Piper's head. Pulling her hand away, Piper stepped down from the bed and turned Alex. Backing her up until she had no choice but to sit on the bed, she kneeled between her legs and spread them wider. Scooting her closer to the edge of the bed, Piper proceeded to do every wicked thing she had promised her. Seeing Alex tied up on the bed was such a rush, Piper thought she was going to come on the spot. After making Alex come over and over again with her mouth and fingers, she slid off the bed and got her favorite toy. Slipping it into Alex, she began to slowly thrust in and out of her. Alex was writhing on the bed, pulling at the scarves she was bound with, constantly moaning. "Fuck Pi...I'm going to come again". Piper smiled and bent down and took Alex's clit in her mouth at the same time she turned the vibrator on it's lowest setting. Alex felt the earthquake start as she bucked up off the bed and came in a gush all over Piper and the toy. Delighted, Piper licked at the juices and moaned low in her throat. Slowly kissing up her body, she reached up and untied Alex and placed soft kisses on her wrists. They were red from all the pulling and straining. Alex pulled Piper to her and kissed her on the chin, her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, finally settling on her lips. It was a slow and easy kiss, no demands, no rush.

Slowly breaking away from one another, Alex looked at Piper. "I can't believe you can make me do that. No one else, ever...Are you okay, though Kid? I know today was tough for you."

"I'm fine now Alex. Really. Hold me for a while?" Piper asked as she rolled over and scooted into Alex. Alex put her arm under Piper's head and her hand across her stomach. She pulled Piper as close as she could get her yet it didn't feel close enough. Hitching her leg, she wrapped it around Piper too. Piper put her arm over Alex's leg and wound her fingers through Alex's hand. They lay like that until Piper felt Alex relax and her breathing get deep. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep a little too but sleep wouldn't come.

Untangling herself from Alex, she got up and went into the living room. 'Might as well get some work done while they are both sleeping' she said to herself. Going to her laptop, she opened it up and found it was dead. Looking around the room, she saw Alex's at the end of the couch. Retrieving it, she opened it up and saw that Alex had left her email up. Going to close the tab, she noticed a name that made her blood run cold. What the fuck? Reading the email, Piper felt her entire world cracking. It was an email from Fahri and he was giving Alex dates and locations. He never said what for but Piper wasn't stupid. Closing that email, she looked through the rest of them. There were a few others from him. Piper read them all. As far as she could tell, Alex never responded to him. At least not through email.

Suddenly, everything clicked. Alex had been withdrawn lately. The secrecy with her phone. Alex's words came floating back to her, "If I don't tell you, I don't have to lie to you Pipes". Alex was in contact with Fahri again and that was why the sudden change in Alex had taken place. Alex was back in the business and she didn't want Piper to know. Piper was cold and she was shaking all over. Closing Alex's computer and sitting it to the side, she sat back to wait on Alex to get up.

/

Alex woke up and Piper wasn't in the bed with her anymore. Looking over at the clock, she saw that she had been sleeping for a little over an hour. Stretching, she got up and got dressed in jogging pants and a long sleeved t-shirt. Going down the hall, she made a detour to Liam's room. Seeing that he was waking, she waited on him to open his eyes before picking him up. Snuggling him, she took him over and changed his diaper. Talking softly to him, she took him out into the living room. Seeing Piper sitting on the couch, she smiled and said "Look who I found Mommy. Little Man is up!"

Looking up at Piper and seeing her pale face and her dark eyes, Alex stopped walking towards her. "Pipes? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

"I guess in a way I have Alex. Can I see Liam please?" Piper asked in a quiet voice.

'Yeah, sure. You wanna tell me what's going on? Or am I going to have to guess?" Alex asked, taking Liam over to her. She sat down on the couch next to Piper but Piper got up and moved to the other side of the room. "Okay…" Alex said.

"I'm only going to ask you this once. You get one chance at this Alex and if you don't tell me the truth, all of it, we are done." Piper said.

Alex went rigid. Before Piper even asked the question, she knew what was coming and she didn't know how she was going to explain any of it.

"When did you go back in business with Fahri?"

"Piper, I'm not in business with him…"

"Do not lie to me Alex! I saw the emails! He gave you dates and locations. Now I may not have been involved much in the business part of your life before, but I know enough to understand that those dates and locations are drop offs and pickups!" Piper said, her voice rising.

"Listen to me Pipes. I am not in business with him. I…fuck. He approached me, alright? He said he wanted to go bigger than before and that he needed me. I told him no but he wouldn't leave me alone. I don't know how he got my phone number, but he did. I told him to stop calling and texting and gave him my email address, knowing it would be easier to ignore him that way. And I was hoping he would slip up and say something that I could use against him. But he's smarter than that."

"And you didn't think you needed to tell me? That maybe I should know that he was in town so that I could be on the lookout for him? So that I could, oh, I don't know, protect our son!" Piper yelled. Liam started crying and Piper tried to calm down so that she could calm him down.

"Let me see him Piper. You're too upset and it's only causing him to get upset" Alex said, getting up off the couch and going towards them.

"Don't touch him Alex. Don't touch me. You put us in danger. How long was this going to go on before you told me? What if he decided to use one of us to force you into helping him? Did that ever occur to you? No, of course it didn't because you can solve everything! You, the Almighty Alex, can fix anything that's thrown at her! You never, ever stop to think how your actions will affect those around you. Not once in all the years I've known you has that changed. We have a child now Alex. A baby! Every single fucking thing you do affects him now. Everything! When we said 'I do' on that beach, from that point forward, everything you did affected me. But you never thought of that. You couldn't get past yourself to see that."

"Piper, I was…I didn't do it in the way you think I did. I wanted to protect you. And Liam. I've agonized over this…Pipes…" Alex was trembling now.

"Maybe you should have thought that all the way through." Piper said

"Piper. Please…I've only seen him twice and I didn't seek him out. He found me. The first time was when I went out to get Tylenol for Liam. He'd been following me for days and he was there, outside the drug store. He told me what he wanted and I told him I was done with all that, that I was clean and straight now. Then the second time was the day I had to go to the gallery because of the damaged paintings. He came in after I sent Nicky and the delivery man away. We exchanged words and he left his number on the counter and he left. I threw his number away and I never contacted him. He got my number and I told you I gave him my email, I don't know how; with the gallery I guess it's easy to find that stuff out. But he started texting and calling. I ignored as much as I could but sometimes I would answer or respond but it was always to tell him to leave me alone, to leave us alone. You can look through my phone. I've been trying to figure out a way to get rid of him…but Piper…with a man like Fahri, I have to be careful. I have to do it in a way that will make him think it's his idea or that will send him away again. You know what he's like. "

"Oh I remember all too well what he's like Alex. You brought this into our family. I will not have Liam exposed to that in any way. It was different when I was young and naïve enough to believe that you would or could protect me from all the dangers of that life. But I'm older now and I went to prison because of your life-your life that I lived with you. You can't protect us from that. I would have understood had you told me from the beginning. I would have helped you. No more lies and no more walls, remember? We're supposed to be a team now! No more making decisions for the both of us, no more taking matters into our own hands because we think the other one is too weak to handle it. You made a decision that left me vulnerable to a danger I didn't know was out there and it made me weak!" Piper said with force.

"I screwed up, okay? But it wasn't because I didn't trust you or need you." Raking a hand through her hair, Alex started to pace back and forth. She was panicking.

"That night you asked me to sing to you and the night in the bath when you were begging me to remember how much you loved me…it was all because of this, wasn't it? You were tempted. He said something to you, offered you something to make you think it could be better than this. Better than a life with me, better than being a mother to Liam...Get out Alex. Leave. Right now. Don't come near me or Liam. Just get out. What you have done by not telling me, not trusting me with this, speaks volumes about where we stand right now."

"What? Piper, no. Please, let's just talk about this." Alex begged.

"I said get out Alex!" Piper yelled.

Alex stared at her with tears rolling down her face. "Please don't do this to us." She cried.

"I didn't do this. You did Alex. Now go." Piper said in a quiet calm that scared them both.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18**_

Alex walked the streets of the city in a fog. She didn't feel the cold, she didn't see the people she ran into. All she felt was her heart shattering over and over and all she could see was the look on Piper's face. What had she done? She honestly thought she was protecting Piper by not telling her. Was what Piper said about her true? Did she just do things without thinking of others? She knew that to be true back in the cartel days, but was it true now? She guessed it could be. She was a protector, a problem solver by nature. Growing up the way she had, she'd been forced to become that type of person. But she honestly never intended for Piper to get hurt. She thought by not telling her that she wouldn't get hurt, that a situation would never arise that _would_ hurt her.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed but when she stopped and took note of her surroundings, she found herself across the street from a bar. Looking at its warm windows, the people mingling and laughing within, hearing the strings of music filtering out when the door would open, Alex let her feet carry her towards it. Just for a little while, she would go in and lose herself in something other than her own thoughts. She would drown the pain that was ripping at her chest and she would let the emotions of the people in that bar control the moment. Walking straight to the bar, she sat down. The bartender walked over and put her hand on the bar. "You look like someone in need of a stiff drink babe. Rough one? What'll ya have?" she asked Alex.

"Top shelf bourbon. Bring the bottle." Alex stated.

Raising her eyebrows and letting out a whistle, the bartender turned behind her and grabbed a bottle and a glass. Sitting the bottle of Angel's Envy in front of Alex, the bartender looked at her for a moment longer, then moved on down the bar to her other customers. Alex poured the first shot and quickly took it. Feeling the burn all the way down, she closed her eyes and held her breath. She continued like that until half the bottle was gone and half the bar was empty. Feeling the urge to go to the bathroom, she unsteadily got to her feet and sluggishly made her way to the restroom.

Coming out of the stall, she found that she wasn't alone. The bartender was leaning up against the wall, arms crossed over her chest, leg cocked, eyes hungrily traveling up Alex's body. "I've watched you drown your sorrows all night. How 'bout I help you chase the rest of them away?" she said as she slowly stalked towards Alex.

Alex just stood there, her alcohol soaked brain trying to catch up with what she said. Before it could, the bartender stood in front of her and roughly pushed her into the stall door. As Alex opened her mouth to protest, the bartender's mouth was on hers. Seeking entrance, demanding cooperation, staking claim. Feeling her lips and tongue, this was an emotion Alex knew how to handle. This was something she could get lost in. But it wasn't Piper's lips; it wasn't Piper's tongue scraping across the roof of her mouth; it wasn't Piper's hands digging into the skin at her hips; it wasn't the emotion Piper pulled from her and it wouldn't do. Alex had already done enough to Piper, she wouldn't do this too. Placing her hands on the bartender's chest, she pushed her away and left the bathroom. Stopping long enough to throw some money on the bar, she rushed out into the cold night.

/

Piper sat in the stillness of their apartment, going through the motions of taking care of Liam. She fed him, she changed him, she played with him, but the echo of her fight with Alex surrounded them. The sound of the door softly clicking shut behind her still bounced off the walls. Getting Liam ready for bed, she rocked him until he fell asleep then put him in his bed. Slowly walking to her bedroom, she considered calling Polly and asking her to come over but dismissed the idea. She didn't want Polly to know just yet. It was only a few nights ago that she'd told Alex she was a big girl now. Well, it was time she acted like it and dealt with things on her own. Slumping into bed, she gathered Alex's pillow to her chest and let the tears come at last. Tonight, just for tonight, she would allow herself to be broken. She would let her heart break and she would cry it out. Tomorrow she would gather the destroyed pieces and hide them away and she would be strong for Liam. She would find a way to make things okay for them, a way to move forward.

Sleep didn't come easy for her that night. When she did sleep, it was full of dreams of Alex; Alex smiling; Alex laughing; Alex when she looked at her with love; Alex coming; Alex in Europe when she would make a good deal; Alex crying as she walked out on her when her mom died; Alex in the morning with the sun slanting across her face as she slept; Alex's face the first time she told her she loved her; Alex's face as she walked out the door. Piper finally drug herself out of bed a little after five and went to shower. Her face was swollen from tears and her eyes felt gritty. She wondered where Alex had spent the night. Taking her time, she let the scalding water wash away the fatigue. Feeling tears threaten again, she closed her eyes and vowed not to give into them. Not today. Today was about a new start for her and Liam. She promised herself she would be strong. She was broken but it wasn't the first time she had been broken by Alex Vause. She was still pissed and she would let that anger fuel her through the coming days and she would find a way to make it work. She didn't have a choice. There was Liam to consider now.

Getting out of the shower, she dried off and semi got ready for the day. It was Sunday and there was nothing for her to do in the way of work. Sunday was usually a day she and Alex spent with Liam, lazing about the apartment or, if the weather was nice enough, going for walks in the park and window shopping on the way home. She would do none of that though. Time to start new traditions with Liam. She decided she would call Polly after all and see if they could go over and hang out for a while. Maybe talking things through with her would help her get a better plan together. Looking at the clock and seeing it was only 6:15, she sighed and went to make coffee. She still had a few hours yet before she could call Polly. Though Finn was an early riser, Polly was not. Pete was usually the one to get up with Finn on the weekends. They had their "man time" together while Polly slept in. Besides, Liam would be up soon himself and she wanted some time with him.

By 11:00 she was sitting in Polly's den, coffee in hand, tears streaming down her face, words spewing out of her mouth in no particular order. Polly sat in silence as she waited for Piper to get the entire story out. By the time she was done, Piper was snubbing and Polly was shocked. Taking Piper's mug from her, she sat it on the coffee table and turned back to Piper. "Pipes, listen to me. I would love nothing more than to get pissed at Alex right now and rant and rave. But I can't. I have a different perspective than you do. I stand on the sidelines and watch you two. I've watched all these years as Alex fought and struggled to change things around. She didn't do that for herself Piper; she did that for you. To be with you. To be able to love you free and clear. You need to call her Pipes. Let her talk to you. You know she's devastated right now.

"I can't…" was all Piper said.

_Four Weeks Later_

The fierce cold that had gripped the city all winter long was giving way to warmer days. The sun was shining in a brighter light and people were coming out of their winter daze. Not Alex though. Winter still held fast to her. Alex had tried repeatedly to call Piper but Piper wouldn't answer the phone. She'd had Alex's phone and some clothes and other things sent over to the gallery. She was trying to fight for them but her resolve was fading. Nicky kept telling her to give Piper time and not give up but how much time was she supposed to give her? She'd gotten drunk again last night and ended up outside their apartment door. She didn't knock or call out to Piper though she wanted to more than anything. She just put her hands on the door and lay her forehead against it and found a small amount of peace in knowing that Piper and Liam were on the other side. She desperately missed Liam. Piper wouldn't let her see him either. Nicky had asked, on her behalf, to get him for a few hours so that Alex could see him. Piper had refused. How much had he changed in this month? What new things was he doing? Did he miss her as much as she missed him? Did he even remember her?

Tears in her eyes and alone with her thoughts in the gallery, Alex walked from piece to piece. There was a show in two days but her heart wasn't in it. She didn't care how the art was presented or if it went well. The chaos from her personal life was spilling over into her professional life and Alex knew it was almost time to cut ties with it all. If she stayed here, she would ruin it all. Deciding to call her lawyer on Monday and have her name taken off of everything, she started towards her office to make a list of things that needed to be taken care of. She would take her name off of everything to do with the gallery and let Piper have it all. Opening her office door, she heard the front door to the gallery open and footsteps on the concrete floor. Going back out, she saw Fahri standing there.

"Fahri…what do you want?"

"I came to see if you were ready Alex. Everything is set up. A few test runs have been made and it all went beautifully. All I need now is you. Come by my place later, let me show you. I will make it worth your while. I promise you." Placing a card on the counter between them, he turned to leave.

Picking up the card, Alex looked down at it. What did she have to lose now? She'd lost Piper and Liam. At least with Fahri, she knew what to do. She would have somewhere to put all this anger and sadness. As he reached the door, Alex looked up at him and called out. "Fahri…" he turned to look at her. "Okay" she said. He nodded once then left.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Chapter 19**_

Walking into Fahri's flat was like stepping back in time. His tastes hadn't changed much over the years and everything looked almost identical. Taking a closer look at the art, she realized it was identical. Turning to him she asked "How did you keep all this? I lost everything except the money I was smart enough to hide throughout the years."

"When I heard you had been arrested, I knew I wouldn't be far behind. I made quick arrangements with a brother no one knew I had. He took care of some money and some other items I wanted to make sure were waiting on me when I got out. I had to lay low for a bit once I was released, make sure no one would come after me. It's not often you shit on the head of the snake and not get bitten in return. Once I knew I was relatively safe, I called him. He made all the arrangements for me to get my money again and sent my things to me. And here I am…here we are." Fahri told her.

"Here we are. I have nothing left Fahri. You, showing back up, it ruined everything. I'm not the same person I was back then. I'm not sure I can be that person again. But I need something. I'm spinning here Fahri. Show me what you can do for me." Alex said to him.

"Oh, there's always something left Alex. Look at me. I have what you need. I can make that look in your eyes disappear and replace it with the spark that used to be there. Come." Farhi said, leading her from the room.

Taking her into another room just as beautifully decorated as the one they came from, he walked around behind a desk and opened a drawer. Alex hung back watching him like an animal watches a hunter. In a way, that's what they were, weren't they? Fahri was the hunter and Alex the animal he had tracked and hunted for so long.

"Remember how much you loved this once you finally had a taste Alex? How it made you forget the little blonde? How it made you feel like you were on top of the world? Climb to the top with me again Alex. I'll be in the other room." Fahri placed everything on the desk and left Alex alone to make her decision.

Walking over to the desk, Alex looked down and her mouth began to water. There sat a lighter, a belt, a spoon, a syringe and a small bag of smack. There wasn't enough in there to give her the high she craved, but it was enough. She could already taste the rush from the high. The feeling of nothingness that would accompany the prick of the needle. "Just once" she thought. Just once to forget Piper not wanting her anymore; just once to give her courage to commit and walk away from the life they'd built.

Sitting down behind the desk and placing her phone to the left, she opened the bag with shaking hands. Laying it to the right, she took off her jacket and rolled up her sleeve. She placed the belt loosely around her arm just above her elbow. Shaking the smack out into the spoon, she picked up the lighter and flicked it. "Here goes nothing" she said to the empty room. Placing the flame under the spoon, she waited for the drug to heat and melt. Seeing the first small bubbles beginning to form, she pulled the flame away and quickly grabbed the syringe. Drawing the yellowish liquid into the syringe, she put the spoon down and drew the belt tight with her teeth. Finding a suitable vein, she placed the needle against her skin. Closing her eyes and saying a silent goodbye to Piper and Liam and their love, she took a deep breath…

Her phone started ringing. Jumping, she cursed and looked over at her phone. "Kid" flashed across the screen with a picture of Piper and Liam. Dropping the syringe she lunged for the phone. "Piper? Please say it's you. Pipes?" Alex said desperately.

"Alex? Baby? Where are you?" she heard Piper say.

/

_Two Hours Earlier_

Piper was nervously moving about the apartment. Her mother was coming over. They were going to talk. And if all went well, Polly was going to bring Liam home and she would meet Liam for the first time. She didn't know how things would go but her mother had called her and asked to see her and talk. Piper had reluctantly agreed knowing this was a conversation that needed to happen. Regardless of whether she and Alex were together, her mother had to accept her for who she was. It was the only way they could ever have a relationship.

The doorbell rang. Piper straightened her clothes and smoothed her hair one last time, then opened the door. "Hello, Mother" she said.

"Piper. You're looking…thin" was Carol's only response as she moved into the apartment. She stood a few feet inside the door and looked around her. "Well, at least you've had the sense to live in a nice place and decorate it accordingly, Piper."

Rolling her eyes, Piper shut the door and walked over to the couch. Sitting down she looked up at her mother. "Are you going to sit down Mother? I promise nothing will bite you."

Taking a seat in the chair across from Piper, Carol crossed her legs and looked at Piper. She opened her mouth a few times but couldn't find the proper words. Looking away, she fidgeted with her pure before finally saying "Piper I called you because I heard that Alex has left you. And I want you to know that I'm here now. I'm here with whatever financial needs you may have to get yourself going again and to break away from her completely. Whatever the cost to get her out of your life once and for all, I'll pay it."

"How very…big of you Mother. My marriage falls apart, my family is torn to pieces and you come calling with money. Not sympathy, not comfort, certainly not open arms. Money. For your information, I kicked Alex out. She didn't leave me by choice. I made her." Piper replied.

"What…no, I don't want to know. The important thing is that she's no longer a part of your life and now you may get on with your future in the manner you were meant to." Carol said, a small smile playing at her lips.

"The life I was meant to have? Mother, the life I was _meant_ to have was with Alex. I was _meant _to spend the rest of my life with her, to grow old with her. She's not the monster you've made her to be in your head. She loves me. She loves Liam. You don't see those things because you never gave her the chance to show you. You never gave me the chance to show you how happy I am with her. I _love_ her Mother." Piper stopped in the middle of her speech as her words came crashing down on her heart. She loved Alex. She would always love Alex. She would spend the rest of her life alone before she spent it with anyone other than Alex. Looking at her mother once again, Piper said "My marriage is not at its best right now but I am going to do everything in my power to change that. Alex is my choice. She has always been my choice. I tried to play my life by your rules but it didn't work for me. Now I am going to play it by rules. It may not be sunshine and rainbows all the time but even at its worst with Alex, I'm happier than I ever was with anyone else. Now, you can play my way too and be a part of my life and Liam's. You don't ever have to see Alex, she offered that. Or you can play your way and never, ever see me or him again. The choice is yours."

"Piper, listen to me. She isn't right for you darling. If she is so right, why isn't she here? Where is she?" Carol said.

"I don't know where she is. She isn't here because I was stupid and afraid. She is everything right for me Mother. Now, if you will excuse me, you have some things to think about and I have a wife to find." Piper stood, and walked to the door, dismissing her mother.

"This is a mistake, Piper." Carol said, stopping just before leaving.

"Just add it to the growing list you make for me daily." She nudged her mother out the door and closed it behind her. Rushing to her phone, she pulled up Nicky's number and called her. The phone rang twice before Nicky answered.

"Chapman, I was just about to call you…"

"Where is she Nicky? Where is Alex?" piper jumped in.

"That's what I was calling you about. I was going back to the gallery to see if I could coax her to come over for dinner tonight when I saw a man walk in. Even from a distance he made my skin crawl so I hung back and watched through the windows. He screamed dealer, College. He talked to her for a few minutes and put something on the counter out front then he left. A little bit later Alex left too, she went in the same direction he did. I'm worried about her." Nicky told her.

"Fahri. It had to be Fahri Nicky. Did you follow her? Do you know where she is?" Piper asked, running around putting on her coat and grabbing her purse and keys.

"Yeah, I did." Nicky told her where she was.

"I'm coming Nicky. If she leaves again, you follow her and you call me. I'm going to call her." Piper said hanging up.

Running out in the hall to the elevators, she pulled up Alex's contact and called her. Tapping her foot impatiently, she willed Alex to pick up. "Come on baby, answer for me." She mumbled into the phone. She heard the phone picked up and then she heard Alex, "Piper? Please say it's you. Pipes?"

"Alex? Baby? Where are you?" Piper breathed out. She jumped on the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby.

"Piper…it is you. Oh Pipes. Piper, my Piper" Alex sobbed out.

"Baby, listen to me. Where are you? I'm coming for you. Are you okay?" Piper asked as she ran out of their apartment building and flagged down a cab.

"I'm at Fahri's. Piper please don't come here. I'll come to you when I can."

"I know you're there baby. Nicky followed you. I am coming for you Alex. Just go down and meet Nicky. Wait for me outside. I'll be there as soon as I can. Just get out of there Al. Please, get out of there and wait for me to come to you." Piper begged her. She gave the cab driver the general location and told him there was an extra $50 in it for him if he got her there in less than 15 minutes. He squealed tires pulling away from the curb.

"Okay. Okay, I can do that. I'll see you downstairs." Alex pulled the phone away and started to hand up but she heard Piper shouting.

"ALEX! Alex don't you hang up the phone. Stay with me baby. Talk to me." Piper yelled into the phone.

"I'm here. Piper I'm here. How far away are you?" Alex stepped away from the desk and the biggest mistake of her entire life. She loosened the belt and ripped it from her arm, throwing it to the floor.

"Not far. I'm coming, I promise. Alex, have you used?" Piper bit her lip as she waited for the answer.

Alex was quiet. She looked at everything on the desk and considered telling Piper no. Then she remembered that her shielding Piper is what got her into this mess to begin with. No more lies, no more walls. "Almost. I was ready. It was so tempting Pipes. I had the belt tight and the H was cooked and in the syringe. I was getting ready to push the needle into my arm when you called me. Piper I wanted to so much. I know it wouldn't have solved anything but it would have made me forget for a little while that you didn't want me anymore." Alex cried.

"Okay. Shhh Alex, it's going to be ok. I do want you. I don't want anything other than you. I'm almost there baby. Leave Alex. You need to leave there." Piper told her.

Taking a deep breath, Alex walked out of the room. She found Fahri waiting for her and stepped past him. "I can't do this Fahri. I'm not the person you think I am anymore. Leave me and my family alone and I'll pretend like this never happened. Come near me again and I will make sure you never see the light of day again."

"You're weak now Alex. I could have given you back that strength. You're making a mistake. You'll never be happy without all this…" Fahri spread his arms as he sneered at her.

"That's where you're wrong. I'm strong now, I was weak back then." Turning she left the apartment.

"Good baby, you did good. I'm so close now. Go down to Nicky. Hurry." Piper coaxed her.

"I'm going. Please come, Kid. Please." Alex whispered.

Alex walked out of the building and saw Nicky. Nicky ran over to her and hugged her tight. "Fuck Vause, what the hell? You scared the shit out of me. Are you ok? College is coming." Nicky said against her shoulder.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry. Piper is on her way." Alex told her.

"Alex, I'm somewhere near. I'm on the street and I'm heading towards you, I hope. Do you know the address?" Piper darted between people, looking all around her for Alex.

Alex gave her the address and told her to hurry. "Okay, I'm close. Just a few buildings away. Don't move from that spot Alex. I'm coming."

Piper started to run, knocking people out of her way. Finally seeing Alex up ahead, she called out to her. "Alex! Alex I'm here." Talking into the phone, "Alex, look behind you, I'm coming baby."

Alex turned and spotted Piper running towards her. She dropped her phone and ran too. Meeting Piper half way, they crashed into each other and wrapped their arms around one another.

"Piper" Alex whispered on a sob.

"Alex" Piper said through tears.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Chapter 20**_

Piper held Alex tight. She was afraid to let go of her; afraid that if she did, Alex would go back into that building. She was terrified. Until tonight, it never crossed her mind that Alex would use again. She'd attended NA meetings in prison and then for the first year or so after she was out, but not since they were married. She said Piper was all the reason she needed to stay clean. Piper shut her eyes in shame as she realized that she'd taken that reason away. Turning her head into Alex's neck, she breathed her in. "Alex…my Alex." She thought.

Alex was shaking all over and crying. She pulled Piper tight against her and tried to calm down. Part of her couldn't believe that Piper was actually here, that she came for her. She thought if she pulled away too much to look, Piper would slip from her hands and be gone forever. Keeping one arm wound tightly around her, she took her hand and grabbed Piper's hair and pulled her head back gently. Piper's eyes were red rimmed and tears still swell in her eyes. "You came. You're here. How? Why?" Alex stammered out.

"Of course I came. You needed me. Alex, I'm so sorry. Come home with me so we can talk. Please come back with me." Piper said.

"I don't want to let you go." Alex said in response.

"Alex, I'm not going anywhere. I've got you and I'm not letting go. Come on, baby."

Shaking her head, Alex pushed Piper's head back under her chin and pulled her flush against her again. Nicky walked up then and put a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Vause, cabs waiting. You guys need to talk and the streets of New York ain't the place to do that. Come on. Hey College, where's Liam? Polly have him? Want me to call?"

Piper pulled away from Alex but held onto both of her hands and walked them towards the cab. Looking at Nicky she thanked her and told her Polly did have Liam. "Will you call her and ask her to keep him for the afternoon? You can tell her what happened. Just tell her I need some time with Alex before she brings Liam home and I'll call her later?"

"Sure. I'll see you two around. Piper…"

Piper stopped in her tracks. Nicky had never called her that before in the entire time they had known each other. It was always College or Chapman. Slowly turning to her, she raised her eyebrow. "Yes?"

"I'm glad you came. You probably saved her tonight y'know." Nicky said.

Smiling her understanding, Piper slid into the waiting cab and pulled Alex in behind her. They didn't speak at all the whole way home but they didn't let go of each other either. Getting out of the cab, Alex was forced to let go of Piper briefly but as soon as Piper was out of the cab herself, she took her hand again and squeezed it. Piper looked up at her and brought their hands up and rested them against her cheek. "Alex, we are going to talk about all of this and then we are going to call your old NA sponsor and then we are going to talk some more. But first, we are going upstairs, we are going home and I am going to hold you. Okay?"

/

Leading Alex into their home, Piper walked over to the couch and laid down. Patting the cushion next to her, she said "Come here." Alex went to her and curled up on her side with her back to Piper. Piper wrapped herself around Alex and stroked her arm. Pulling a blanket down over them, she pulled Alex even closer and just held her. She didn't speak, she just held her. As the light started to fade from the apartment, Alex turned over to face Piper. Piper adjusted herself so that she could still hold onto Alex comfortably. "Talk to me baby" she said, looking Alex in the eye.

Alex closed her eyes and reached for Piper's hand. Pulling it from her hip she brought it to her chest and held it there. "The last month has been hell Piper. I tired so many times to reach out to you, to try to fix it, but you kept shooting me down. I drank way too much…I even ended up outside the door one night and stood against it for hours. Just knowing you were on the other side, you were close, brought me just a little bit of peace. Nicky tried talking to me, tried to help me but I didn't want her help. I wanted you and Liam. But you didn't want me anymore. Tonight I had decided that I was leaving. I was trying to fight for us but you weren't giving me anything to fight for anymore. I was going to call my lawyer on Monday and sign whatever needed to be signed to have the gallery put into your name, free and clear. I was going to take my name off of everything we have and just disappear. Without you there was no way I could stay in this city. And then Fahri showed up with one final offer and I thought 'What the hell Vause? You've already lost everything that matters anyway.' So I said yes to him. I closed up and went to his place. We talked for a minute, then he led me back into his office and placed everything I needed on the desk and walked out. Piper, my mouth watered. My body spasmed…" Alex trailed off, afraid to say the rest.

"It's okay. Here you are safe. Here you can let it all go, you can be anything you need to be. No pretending, no compromising. Just you and me…" Piper whispered to her, using Alex's own words.

"I wanted it so much. I knew it would take me to a place where there were no memories of you. Where I could forget your touch and your taste; I couldn't hear your voice anymore or see your face. I wouldn't remember Liam's smile or how he felt in my arms. All I would know was the rush of the high, the…emptiness. And God I wanted that Piper. Just to forget for a little while that you didn't love me anymore. I needed it just long enough to give me courage to walk away from the life we've built and never see either of you again. I had the needle on my arm Pipes. I was ready…and then you called me." Alex broke down and started crying again.

Piper had silent tears rolling across her face. She ran her hand through Alex's hair and brought her head to her chest. "I'm so glad you didn't use. I'm so sorry I pushed you to that place. There is nothing I can ever do to make up for that. But I'm here now. And I never, ever stopped loving you. I was so foolish and stupid. I was scared Alex. I was so scared. I should have listened more. I should have called you the next day and Polly tried to get me to but I had too much pride. Each day that passed made it harder and harder to reach out to you. And when you would call I would get mad all over again and not answer. Alex I'm so sorry."

"Piper, you have to know…you were right that night. I should have told you from the beginning that he was in the city and had contacted me. And I'm sorry I didn't. But please try to understand that I was only doing it because I didn't want to worry you. I really thought I could handle it. And then Liam got sick and there was no way I could tell you in the middle of all of that. I'm not going to lie to you…the things he said…the memories. They brought back feelings I haven't had in years. And for a brief moment I thought about what it would be like to be that person again. But then we had our Valentine's date and Larry died and I realized how much you needed me and I needed you. I promised myself I would get rid of Fahri at all costs. That's when the emails were exchanged. I was hoping beyond hope that he would give me something solid I could go to someone with. I even tried contacting some people from the old days but all of them are either still locked up or so far in hiding I could never find them. Please believe me when I say that you and Liam were forefront in my mind with everything I did. Please Pipes…"

"I believe you now. Alex, you can never do anything like this ever again. We are a family. We chose each other and chose to build a life together. We can't build that life if you don't let me all the way in and let me help you." Piper said to her.

Alex nodded her head and put her forehead against Piper's. With that simple gesture, feeling Piper's skin against hers again, she felt some of the fear and anxiety start melting away. "What happened today, Piper? How did you know where to find me?" she asked.

"Well, I visited with my mother today. We were going to talk and depending on how that went, she may have met Liam today. I had Polly come get him this morning and she was going to bring him home when I called. The visit didn't go well though. She came prepared with financial backing to make sure you were out of my life for good. She said that I could live my life in the manner it was meant to be lived without you in it. That pissed me off and I told her I was meant to live my life with you; that I was meant to love you. I told her how much you loved me and Liam and you weren't the monster she made you out to be; that even at our worst I was happier with you than I ever had been with anyone else…and it was like a light bulb went off. I was made for you Alex. I will spend the rest of my life alone before I spend it with anyone other than you. So I told Mother that she had two choices, she could accept that I loved you and I was going to be with you and have a relationship with Liam or she could walk away and never see me or him again. Then I made her leave. I called Nicky to ask where you were and she told me about seeing Fahri at the gallery and following you. I told her I was coming and I called you. Alex, I don't think I've ever been that scared in my entire life. I wasn't even that scared my first day at Litchfield or when Pennsatucky attacked me in the shower or when you sent me away. I was terrified that I wouldn't get to you in time. You told me before that I was all you ever needed to stay clean and I took that reason away from you." Piper started crying again and pulled Alex to her.

"I made the choice to stay in that room Piper…" Alex started.

"Because you thought you had lost me. Listen, you need to call your old sponsor and see about meetings again. I need to call Polly and see if she will keep Liam for the night. We still have a lot to talk about and I'm not sure either one of us needs to be around him right now." Piper told her.

"No, Piper I want to see Liam. Please let me see him. I miss him more than you know." Alex pleaded with her.

"And you will see him first thing in the morning. I'm not going to keep your son from you. I promise tomorrow morning we will go get him together. But tonight, it needs to be just us." Piper pushed herself up and got off the couch and went in search of her phone. Alex lay there for a minute longer, then got up and pulled hers from her pocket. Calling Nicky, she asked for her to text her sponsors number to her. When she got the text, she called. When the call was answered, she briefly explained what had happened and asked about upcoming meetings. Writing a few dates and times down, she thanked the person and hung up. She heard Piper talking in their bedroom and went down the hall towards her.

Piper was just hanging up when she stepped into the doorway. Piper looked up and her and smiled. "You can come in Al. This is still your room too. Come here." Piper opened her arms and waved Alex over. Alex rushed into her arms and let herself be held for a while. Placing her hands on Alex's arms, she pushed her back. Piper took off her shirt, then slipped her bra down her arms. Taking Alex's shirt in her hands, she lifted it over her head and reached for the clasp of her bra.

Alex grabbed her hand. "Piper, no. We don't have to. I'm not expecting that. For a while actually."

"Shhh…that's not what this is about. This is about me and you feeling each other. Skin to skin. No more barriers between us. Nothing but you and me. Heart to heart." Piper undressed Alex slowly, with care. Once she was done with Alex, she finished undressing herself and went over to the bed. Turning down the covers, she crawled in and beckoned Alex over. Alex started to get in next to her but Piper stopped her and tugged her over on top of her. "Heart to heart." Alex blinked down at her and lay down on top of her. Piper wrapped her legs around Alex's hips and cradled her.

They lay like that for a long time before Alex spoke up. "Thank you…thank you for coming for me tonight. I wouldn't have walked away for anyone but you."

"I know baby." Piper said, kissing the top of Alex's head.

Alex kissed Piper on the chest and said "I was made for you too."


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21**_

"When will our past stop fucking with us?" Alex whispered sometime later. Piper still held her and Alex felt safe for the first time in weeks.

Snorting, Piper rolled them so that she could see Alex's face. "I don't know. Our past is so fucked up and we did so much to each other. With our luck probably never."

Alex searched Piper's eyes and studied her face. This woman that she loved more than life itself; all she's ever wanted and needed. And yet…and yet they still found ways to hurt each other. Alex felt guilty for the position she'd put her family in. She knew she'd pushed Piper into a corner and that's why she'd kicked her out. But Alex thought Piper held some blame too. She'd completely cut her off and kept Liam from her. She had essentially abandoned her and that was something they promised to never do again.

Pulling out of Piper's arms, Alex sat up. Piper sat up as well and reached out for her. Alex put her hands up to hold her off. Taking a deep breath, she tucked her legs underneath her and faced Piper. "Listen…I know I was wrong in the Fahri situation and I'll own that. But Piper, what you did was wrong too. You kept Liam from me for a month. He is my son too, you know. You told me that everything I did affected him. Doesn't that apply to you too? Or is this another one way street here?"

Piper hung her head, unable to meet Alex's gaze. In a small voice she said "No, no you're right. I was wrong. It was easier to keep blaming you than admit I was wrong. No matter what's going on with us, he should always be first."

"Yes he should. Always Pipes. About us…" Alex looked away for a moment. She could see panic flair in Piper's eyes and it made her want to run. No more running…

"I love you Piper and I never want to be without you but this…what we do to each other…the doubting and running and assumptions and decisions made in anger. It has to stop. We've never been the best at communicating but it's more important now than ever that we're more open and honest with each other. It's not just us anymore. Pipes, you shut me up in a box before the box was even built. You can't do that, it wasn't fair."

"I know Alex…" Piper said, dropping her head once again.

"Piper…" Taking Piper by the chin, Alex lifted her head until she could see her face. She needed to look her in the eye when she said this. "I am an addict Pipes. As much as it kills me to say that, I am one. I know it's never really affected us before now but it's real and it's there. It's a part of me. Today was too close. It opened my eyes. It's time I started dealing with my problem. I'm going to a meeting in the morning before we go get Liam."

Piper smiled at her and put her hand on Alex's knee. "I think that's a great idea baby. Can I go with you?"

Alex jerked like she'd been slapped. She wasn't expecting Piper to ask that. Her addiction had always been her problem and she'd expect it to continue being so. "You really want to?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I do. It's your addiction and I've always let you deal with it in your own way. But it's _our_ problem Alex. It's a part of _us_. I need to be able to talk with you when you struggle; support you. I can't do that if I don't understand." Piper said to her.

Alex stared at her for a long time before saying "I think I'd like that, Kid."

/

"My name is Alex….and until recently I didn't think I was an addict. I was cocky. I've got over 9 years clean under my belt. That's not an addict, right? I did NA because the prison system said I had to, then when I got out I continued for a little while because it was strongly advised. But I never really bought into it…" She dropped her head and looked down at her hands. Clearing her throat, she continued. "I was proven wrong yesterday. I didn't use…but I wanted to. It was there and I was willing. I once said heroin was the best girlfriend I've ever had. And there she was again. I was alone, my life had officially fallen apart…I thought I'd lost my family. But the heroin was there, just like she always was before; ready and willing to help me forget. But then…then my phone rang. And it was my lifeline. The person that holds my heart, and yesterday my life, in her hands." Alex's eyes sought out Piper's and held them. "She saved me and she talked me out of that room. I'm not proud of where I was in that moment. I hate what I was about to do. I hate that heroin makes me weak, that it can control me. Yesterday wasn't rock bottom for me but it was close enough to scare me. I made a vow to my wife and to myself that I would face my problem and I wouldn't run from it anymore. So here I am today. My name is Alex and I am an addict."

She stepped from the podium and made her way to the back of the room where Piper stood waiting on her. Piper reached out to her and took her hands when she got close. With tears in her eyes, she looked at Alex for a long time. Pulling her into a hug that was full of comfort and love, Piper whispered into her ear, "Hello Alex, my name is Piper and I am here to help you every step of the way. I am so proud of you."

/

Alex barely had the car in park before she had the door flung open and was crawling out. They were at Polly's and Liam was in there waiting on her. She couldn't wait to see him; hold him; smell his sweet baby smell; look in his big blue eyes that were so much like Piper's and get lost there while she talked to him. She told Piper she wanted to take Liam out for a walk by herself and Piper said she would hang out at Polly's and play with Finn while she waited.

Going up to the door, Alex knocked twice before walking in. The house was silent. She felt her chest tighten at the thought that they might not be there. But the door was unlocked so they had to be there, right? Walking down the foyer and into the den, she saw signs of Liam scattered about the room but no Liam. Backing out of the room, she went to the kitchen. No sign of him there. Going down the hallway, she heard low murmuring the closer she got to Polly's bedroom. Then she heard the unmistakable sound of Liam's giggle. Her heart twisted and she felt tears welling in her eyes. Her Little Man was just through the door. She felt Piper's hand on the small of her back, then her lips against her cheek. "Go on, go get your boy' Piper said softly to her.

Alex pushed the door open and stepped into the room. Liam was sitting up in the middle of the bed while Polly lay beside him and played with him. He was sitting up. When had that happened? Her heart twisting again, she cleared her throat. Polly looked behind her and smiled. "Hey! Liam! Look who's here! Mama is here big guy!" Liam looked over at Polly and smiled. Polly picked him up and turned him to face Alex. Oh, he was so handsome! Alex's breath caught in her throat. She had tears flowing freely down her cheeks now. She took one tentative step forward, then another and another until she was running across the bedroom towards her Little Man.

Noticing the commotion in the room, Liam looked her way. He stared hard as she ran towards him but as soon as she got close, he smiled and started flapping his hands and kicking his feet. He squealed and leaned his head towards her. Alex reached them and took him in her arms and squeezed. Liam giggled and put his forehead on her chin. "Liam…hey Little Man." Alex breathed out. Liam raised his head at the sound of her voice and placed his hand on the side of her face, almost as if he knew this was a treasured moment. Alex placed her lips softly against his forehead. Swaying back and forth with him, she gently nudged his head down to her shoulder. He rubbed his face back and forth on her before settling his head down. She thought she felt him sigh against her and she smiled. She swayed with him for a long time before she realized she was alone in the room with him. Her heart was full and her mind was at peace…she could stay with him in this moment forever.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 22**_

Taking her time, Alex meandered through the park with Liam. He was sleeping now but she didn't mind. She needed some alone time with him and she would take it in any way she could get it. The weight of his head on her chest, the warmth of his body pressed into her and the little grunts and whimpers he made periodically were all reassurances she needed to know she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

Kissing the crown of his head she started talking to him softly: "You will never know or understand how much I love you. I'll try to show you every day but words and actions could never be enough. I'm sorry I wasn't around for so long. Mommy and I messed up. But I promise we won't do that to you again. You've grown so much…and you're sitting up now! What's up with that? Slow down Little Man. You've got the rest of your life to grow up on me. Take your time, ok?" She continued walking and talking to him until he woke up. She knew he would be hungry soon so she headed back to Polly's.

By the time she got back, Liam was definitely hungry and he was letting everyone within ear shot know it. Laughing at him, she quickly made him a bottle and started feeding him. He attacked the nipple and wrapped his little hands around the bottle, holding it himself. Smiling at another new milestone for him, she went in search of Piper and Polly. She found them out back playing kick ball with Finn. She sat down to watch and found herself openly laughing at Piper's clumsiness. She reminded her of Charlie Brown trying to kick the football.

Liam was finished with his bottle before anyone noticed she was back. Finn made a bee line for her. "Aunt Al! Come play with us! Will you be on my team Aunt Al?" Leaning in close, he solemnly whispered "Pippy doesn't play good. She misses lots."

Swallowing a laugh, Alex said "Absolutely Finn! Let me go get the pack-n-play for Liam. Be right back. Hey, we're gonna kick their butts!" Alex winked at him and went back into the house.

/

"Okay, here are the rules. Our goal is the sandbox. Polly and Piper, your goal is the jungle gym. No pushing!" Alex glared at Piper. Piper shrugged her shoulders and looked away laughing. "The first team to five points wins! Finn, are you ready buddy?" Alex looked down at Finn.

"I ready Aunt Al!" he yelled even though he was standing right next to her.

"Alright dude, kick it and run!" Alex told him. Finn drew his leg back and kicked the ball as hard as he could then took off running after it. Alex, Polly and Piper followed after him. Their laughter rang out as they all fought to gain control over the ball.

Polly got the ball and headed back in the other direction, scoring their first point before anyone could catch up with her. "Mom! You was not 'posed to do that!" Finn wailed.

Polly laughed and ruffled his hair. "You gotta be quick to catch me big guy!"

Soon they were all running around chasing each other and the ball. Alex was laughing so hard she was having a hard time keeping up with where the ball was. Seeing that Piper had the ball, she took off after her. Catching up with her she rounded in front of her and stuck her foot out quickly, swiping the ball from her. She was chugging back across the yard about to score a point for her and Finn when she was plowed over from behind.

Hitting the ground with an "Oof!" and a thud she tried to roll over but was pinned to the ground by a laughing and screaming Piper. "Get it Polly, get it!" Piper yelled. Alex started laughing too and finally managed to turn herself over. She found herself in a sea of blonde hair and more laughter.

"You cheat! I was about to score! Get off me woman!" Alex said through her laughter.

"You just said no pushing, you said nothing about tackling. Make me get off!" Piper said, still laughing.

When Piper looked over her shoulder to see where Polly was with the ball, Alex went in for the kill. Grabbing Piper by the waist she started tickling her. Piper jumped and shrieked, dissolving into another fit of laughter. She wiggled and rolled to the side trying to get away from Alex but Alex just rolled with her. Straddling Piper, she went for every ticklish spot she knew of and didn't let up until Piper was yelling mercy.

Standing up, she reached down to help Piper up. Pulling her up, she put her hands on Piper's waist. Piper wrapped her arms around her neck and looked into her eyes. When Piper leaned in to kiss her, Alex tilted her head to the side slightly to meet her. Piper giggled and spun out of her arms, running away.

"Hey! That's not fair! You are such a tease! Payback Pipes, payback!" Alex called after her.

When the game was over Alex and Finn were the champions but Polly swore it was only because she and Piper let them win. Everyone was sweaty and stained and tired. Throwing her arm around Alex's shoulder, Piper pulled her in close and kissed her temple. "This was so fun. It's been such a good afternoon. I hate to see it end."

"Who says it has to? Let's go home and get cleaned up then take Liam to the toy store. I know he's not that old yet but you're never too young for the toy store Pipes! C'mon babe, it'll be fun." Alex grinned.

Piper kissed her soundly and said "Let's do it!"

/

Walking into the toy store was like walking into Christmas for Alex. Her face lit up and she stood there looking around in awe. Piper laughed and took Liam from her. "Come on Al. Obviously Mommy's going to have to lead the expedition for the both of you. Let's start over here and work our way across."

Alex followed slowly behind Piper and Liam. She wanted to stop and play with everything she saw. Seeing a stack of Barbie's, she picked one up and called out to Piper "Hey Pipes, thank God we didn't have a girl. Can you imagine these things all over the damn house in a few years? They are so scary looking." Alex shuddered as she put it back.

Piper called Alex over and showed her the Moon Sand. "As opposed to this? This is the stuff we have to look forward to instead Al."

"By the time he is ready to play with this shit, we will have a house with a backyard. We'll set him up a table to play at and he can do this and all that other gross stuff boys like to do out there." Alex said, reading the back of the Moon Sand box. "Yeah, see? This stuff will get everywhere it has to be an outside toy."

Seeing Piper staring with her mouth agape out of the corner of her mouth, Alex looked over at her. "What? Do I have something growing out of my ears? Quit being weird Kid."

Piper closed her mouth with a snap then opened it again. "Alex, you said we would be in a house. But…"

"But what? If we really want to think about having another baby we have to have a house first. I mean, there's no room in the apartment. It would need its own room, right? Plus Liam is going to need room to run around and play like we did today with Finn. So yeah, my plan is for us to be in a house in a year or two." Alex said, shrugging her shoulders. "Don't you want a house Pipes?"

"I..I've never thought about it. I thought since I can't have any more kids, we would be fine in the apartment. I mean, it has the park nearby for us to take Liam to. Are you ready for more kids already Alex? Liam isn't even a year old yet!" Piper said.

"No! Jesus, no. But someday it would be nice. I told you we would find a way for us to have another baby if we wanted one. That hasn't been taken off the table. Unless you don't want anymore?" Alex asked.

"No, I do! I just thought you were talking to be talking." With a smile breaking out across her face, she leaned over and kissed Alex on the shoulder. "And yes, I want a house Al. Can we start looking soon?"

Alex laughed and said "Let's look at toys for now. Houses after we get back from Cambodia. Deal?"

"Deal" Piper said still smiling.

"What is this? Oh look Liam! It's a nerf gun! Mama's gonna buy the store out of these things when you get older!" Picking one up, she fired off a round at Piper. Piper ducked and laughed. "Oh yeah! Just think about the nerf wars in the backyard Pipes!"

"Alex, put that thing down! You're gonna get us in trouble!" Piper said as she dodged another nerf bullet.

"It's a toy store babe! These things were made to be played with!" Alex laughed and put the nerf gun down. Walking over to the next aisle, she picked up a fire truck and started pressing buttons. Lights started flashing and sirens began to wail. "Okay, another outside toy." Alex said laughing.

Piper picked up a ball and hid it behind her back. Staying a few steps behind Alex, she waited until Alex was occupied by another toy before throwing it. The ball hit Alex squarely in the back of the head and Piper took off with Liam. Liam burst into giggles as she ran around the aisle with him. She heard Alex say "You little shit" as she darted up the aisle. Coming around the opposite end, she was looking behind her and didn't see Alex waiting on her. Turning back around, she saw Alex standing there with a smirk on her face and a can of silly string she'd picked up somewhere. Squealing and laughing, she started to run again but not before Alex got a good shot in with the silly string. All three were laughing and Alex was out of breath. She bent at the waist to try to catch her breath but she couldn't stop laughing. She felt light and free. "This is how it's supposed to be" she thought when she raised back up and saw Piper and Liam smiling at each other.

They were still laughing two hours later when they finally got home. They gave Liam a bath and put him to bed together. Piper left Alex alone with him after they had him down and she went to draw a bath for them. Alex stood there looking at him for a while before going to join Piper. She had a smile on her face and in her heart as she walked into the bathroom. Piper was already in the bath waiting for her. Undressing, she slipped into the warm water and sat facing Piper.

Reaching out, she tucked Piper's hair behind her ear. "Thank you for today. It was perfect. Realistically I know every day can't be like this, but I want more like this. As many as possible. Thank you for believing in me enough to give me a day like today."

Scooting forward some, Piper took their hands and linked their fingers. Pulling Alex forward a bit, she brought her mouth to hers and whispered "I love you".


	23. Chapter 23

_**Chapter 23**_

Days turned into weeks and the seasons changed. Summer was slowly opening its eyes in the city. Alex's favorite thing to do in the afternoons was take Liam for a walk in the park while Piper got some work done. She and Polly had expanded to three more states and the paperwork was unreal right now.

Sometimes Alex would swing with Liam, sometimes it was a quick walk through the park before heading home and other times she would just sit on a bench with him and people watch. On this particular day she was sitting on a bench when she saw Carol Chapman heading towards her. She tensed a bit but forced herself to relax. She watched her until she was standing in front of her. She stared up at her and waited her out.

"Alex I…I've been coming here all week. I've seen you with him. I want to talk to Piper…I kept hoping she would be with you but-"

"Why didn't you just call her then? I guess it's more fun for you to blind side her?" Alex said.

"No. No…I just…look, I want to talk to her but I think you and I should talk first. Clear the air." Carol said.

"I thought we'd already cleared the air? You and I are not talking in front of Liam. Call Piper first then you and I can talk." Alex said, standing up to leave.

"Alex, wait. This won't take long. I don't think we like each other very much. And we don't have to. But Liam…I want the chance to know my grandson. It's obvious Piper is going to stay with you. If I want to be a part of his life, I have to accept that. And I want to try…for him." Carol told her.

"You're right, we don't like each other. You don't like that I came along and shattered your Park Slope plans for Piper's life and I hate the way you've made her feel since she went to prison. But I'm gonna make this easy on you. If you ever visit him, I won't be around. I think we can both agree the less we have to see each other, the better it will be on us all." Alex said.

Alex saw Carol look at Liam and watched as a look of longing washed over her face. Carol took a step forward and said "May I see him? Please Alex?"

"No, Carol. I'm sorry. That is between you and Piper. She gets to decide when and if you see him. That's not my place." Alex turned and left Carol standing on the path, her hand at her neck and if Alex wasn't mistaken, a tear in her eye.

When she got home, Piper had dinner going and was listening to music with the patio doors open. "Smells good babe, what are you making?" Alex said as she came into the kitchen.

"Hey guys! Did you have a good walk? Just chicken and pasta salad. Something light." Piper said, leaning over the counter and pecking Alex on the lips.

"The walk was good. We saw your mom. I think she might be calling you soon." Alex said nonchalantly.

"Wait, what? You saw my mother? And you say it like you just watched a bird shit?" Piper said, coming around the counter.

"Relax Piper, it wasn't that big of a deal. She said she wanted to talk to you but wanted to talk to me first. I said she needed to call you then we could talk. Of course she acted like I hadn't said anything and continued talking about how she wants to be a part of Liam's life and she can accept you and I are going to be together. She also said she didn't think I liked her and she didn't like me. I agreed with that. I said I thought she didn't like me because I shattered her dreams for you and I couldn't stand her because of the way she's made you feel since you went to prison. Then I said that if you decided to let her see Liam, I would stay away. Really, the less Carol Chapman and I see each other, the better." Alex filled her in.

"Believe me, I feel the same way. What do you think Alex? Do you think I should let her see Liam?" Piper asked as she took Liam from Alex. She kissed his forehead and hugged him close. I mean, months ago when she came over I told her that if she wanted to see Liam or myself she would have to accept you and I. I haven't heard from her since. Is she sincere in all this?"

"I don't know Pipes. At this point, if she calls, I think you should listen to what she has to say and go with your gut. If it were me in your shoes, I would be cautious. But I wouldn't completely shut her out either. Liam only has your dad. And I'm not saying that he's not great and Liam isn't incredibly lucky to have him, because he is. It's just…Liam will never get the chance to know my mom. All I have to give him are my memories of her. And what are those? Her working nonstop just to feed and clothe me? Me working nonstop and calling her every other day and buying her everything she ever wanted but could never afford? Just…don't be completely shut down to her spending some time with him. We both know she will take pot shots at me and us whenever she can, but we can be the bigger people here and overlook her. Right?"

"I guess. I don't have to like this though, do I?" Piper whined.

"Actually, you need to at least try to like it. For Liam."

Huffing, Piper went to finish dinner. "Oh, Alex, Polly can't watch Liam tonight. Finn isn't feeling well and Pete is out of town. I can't go to your meeting with you tonight. I'm so sorry Al."

"It's fine. You don't have to go to every single one with me. The couples meetings we do is plenty. I promise. Sometimes it's good for me to go alone." Alex told her.

"I know but I just feel bad when I have to miss one. Like I'm not supporting you enough or something."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You are probably the most supportive spouse in our group Pipes! I don't even think I see the other addicts there as often as I see you." Alex teased.

"Alex, reign it in in front of Liam! Jeez! When is the next couples meeting anyway? Do you want to go this week?"

"Um, it's Thursday I think. Yes, I want to go. I think the couples group is better than the NA meeting I do once a week. At least for us anyway. Don't you think it's been a big help to us going there and listening to other couples and sharing our struggles? Almost like therapy but it's free!" Alex said, laughter dancing in her eyes.

"Really Al, this is serious!" Piper admonished her.

"I know that Piper. But if I don't find humor in it somewhere it will drive me crazy. I've slowly been learning that over the past few months." Alex told her. "Piper, it doesn't always have to be a dark cloud hanging over us. Yes, it's serious and should not be taken lightly but that doesn't mean it defines us and we have to be completely serious about it at all times. It helps me to be able to joke about it. It's fu-ah freaking depressing being all dark and twisty all the time. We've been in a good place for months now. Like really good and I really think it's because of the couples group we've been going to."

"Yeah, I think you're right there. Dinner is ready. Table or out on the patio?" Piper asked.

"Patio. After dinner, I have other plans for that patio." Alex said with a wink that sent a shiver down Piper's spine.

/

Alex didn't get to fulfill her promise on the patio. Shortly after they got Liam down for the night Piper's mom called. Alex sat on the bed next to her with a book she wasn't really reading. She was listening to Piper's end of the conversation. Every now and then Piper would start to lose her temper and Alex would shoot her a look or lay her hand on her leg. Piper would calm down and listen to whatever it was her mother was saying. She'd opted to skip the NA meeting so she could be home with piper since she was so anxious.

Hanging up the phone, Piper tossed it to the end of the bed. "God she is so exhausting. All we do is talk in circles. Nothing is ever worked out or really decided. Well, I guess it is decided, it's whatever she decides and I'm supposed to just lay down and go along with it."

Alex pulled her to her and rubbed her arm. "So what was the final verdict? Does she meet Liam or not?"

Sighing, Piper scooted closer to Alex and buried her face in her neck. "Yes. Saturday afternoon. I need you here though Alex."

"Oh no Pipes, you are not dragging me on this train with you. I told her I wouldn't be around and I really think it's better if I'm not. I can't promise I wouldn't go postal on her if she started talking down to you." Alex said.

"Please baby. I need you here. You can stay in here and she will never even have to know you're here. I just need to know you're near. Please." Piper whined again.

"I'll think about it. It's raining now so we can't really go out on the patio but I bet I can think of a few things to do in here…if you're not too exhausted from talking to Carol." Alex murmured and she rolled onto Piper. Piper closed her eyes as Alex's lips made contact with her neck.

Sliding her hands down Alex's back, she cupped her ass and pulled her against her. "Never" she whispered.

/

Saturday arrived much quicker than Piper would have liked. She didn't worry about how she looked this time and she didn't worry about making the apartment look perfect. She had a baby and a job that was insanely busy right now. Her mother would just have to get over it. Alex had agreed to stay back in the bedroom and that made Piper feel tremendously better. Just knowing she could run in there and find her made it almost bearable to think about.

She was in the floor playing with Liam and Alex was lying on the couch when the doorbell rang. Piper looked up at Alex nervously and automatically reached out to place a protective hand on Liam's back. Getting up, Alex walked over to them and squatted down in the floor next to Piper. "Babe, you got this. It's going to be okay. Come on, it's Carol. It's not like she's a serial killer or anything." She leaned over and kissed Piper and whispered she loved her before getting up to leave the room.

"You don't know that!" Piper called out after her. She heard Alex's snort of laughter and got up to go answer the door. Making sure Alex was safely in their bedroom, she opened the door. Her mother stood there for a moment, then walked in past Piper. "Sure Mother, come on in." Piper said as she shut the door behind her.

"Really Piper, there is no need to be rude. I've already been here once. The time for pleasantries is over. I ring the bell, you open the door and I come in. it's just understood." Carol said as she looked around the apartment.

"In what world? Yours? Certainly not mine. Anyway, come on." Piper lead the way into the living room where Liam was still sitting in the floor playing. He looked up as Piper sat back down with him and smiled at her. "Hey baby boy. There's someone new here to meet you. This is Mommy's mommy." She turned Liam around to face her mother, who was still standing just behind the chair.

"You can come all the way over here Mother. He won't vomit on you or slobber on you. To be honest, he probably won't have anything to do with you. He doesn't like strangers very much." Piper said to her.

"Piper…" Carol started but decided against finishing the sentence. Instead she walked over to where Piper and Liam were sitting and eased herself down in the floor with them. "Hello Liam. I am Grandmother Chapman. My, you are a handsome young man." Looking up at Piper and blinking rapidly she said "He is beautiful Piper. He has your chin and nose and his eye color is the exact color of yours. Thank you, Piper. Thank you for letting me meet him."

Piper sat in stunned silence. Who was this woman sitting in front of her thanking her? And in the floor, no less. "You're…you're welcome, Mother."


	24. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 24**_

_August_

"Today is the day Kid! Finally leaving for Cambodia! Ah Pipes, I've waited so long to give you this. I can't wait. I think everything is ready, just some last minute stuff to pack for Liam. We have to leave right after the meeting though or we won't make it to the airport on time." Alex was a bundle of energy. She'd let Piper sleep as long as she could but she couldn't contain her excitement anymore. She was peppering kisses all across Piper's face, shoulders and neck in between her words.

Piper groaned and loosely would her arms around Alex's shoulders. Keeping her eyes closed, she said "I know Alex. We went over this last night. And this morning when Liam was up. You're absolutely certain that there will be a pack-n-play or crib provided for him? I mean, we could take…oh…mmm."

Alex's kisses had traveled lower and she'd taken Piper's nipple in her mouth and was alternating flicking it and worrying it between her teeth. Piper pushed her head back into the pillow and brought her hands up to Alex's head, holding it in place. Her body flushing with heat, Piper felt herself growing wet. "Alex…baby we don't have time…oh fuck" Piper tried to get out but Alex's fingers had made their way between her legs and were hitting all the right spots.

"Shh, there's always time for a quickie. Move this leg up." Alex said around her nipple…

Forty minutes later, Piper was standing in the shower. Alex's quickie's were never very quick but then again, neither were hers. She was still aching for more of Alex. No matter how many times Alex took her or how many times she had Alex, she was always left wanting more. That was the one thing that had never changed between them in all their years together or apart. More.

Finishing in the shower, she stepped out and toweled off. Wrapping the towel around her, she set about getting ready while going over a list in her head one more time. The few last minute things for Liam that couldn't be packed until they were ready to leave. They could not forget his blanket or he wouldn't sleep the entire time they were gone. She had the jewelry box in her purse. Their tickets were in Alex's carryon. Nicky and Morello were coming by periodically to check on the apartment. They had international cell phones and they were in her carryon. Polly was meeting them at the meeting to watch Liam and then driving them to the airport. Everything was set. Now they just had to get there.

/

_Narcotics Anonymous Couples Meeting_

"As most of you know, I've been coming with my wife Alex for a few months. Though I've participated in group discussions, I've never spoken personally before you all. I've hung back and absorbed all that you've had to say. I've taken tips of advice and words of encouragement and tried to apply them in my own life. I won't lie, it's been hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that my wife is an addict. She's the strongest and bravest person I know. See, I never saw her as an addict. When we were together the first time we both casually used. Nothing too serious and certainly nothing addicting. She was always in control. So it was a shock for me to see her in an NA meeting when we were in prison together. It never really sank in though. She continued her meetings in prison and then after she got out, as you all know. But I always let it be her problem. I didn't think it was real because I'd never seen it _be_ real. And then I pushed her away and it became real to us both. I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life and it opened my eyes. I've watched her struggle to accept her addiction; that it can and does make her weak. I've tried to understand it but the reality is I'll never fully understand it because I'm not in her shoes. But what I do know and understand is that I am incredibly proud of her and in my eyes, this doesn't make her weak. It makes her even braver and so much stronger. My love and respect for her has grown into a place that I didn't know existed within me. I am so proud to stand by her side and call her my wife." Looking at Alex, who had tears in her eyes, she said "I made a vow to myself the night you came back to me and I promise you I will spend the rest of my life keeping that vow. I love you" and reached for her hand.

/

Getting through security with Liam was a nightmare. By the time they were finally able to board their plane, Piper was exhausted, Liam was exhausted and crying and Alex was reconsidering their plans. They were flying from New York City to Atlanta, where they would change planes before heading to Seoul, South Korea. From there they would fly into Phnom Penh and finally be on their way by train to Sihanoukville where they would spend two weeks at Otres Beach in a small villa. Looking over at Piper and Liam, Alex decided that if he didn't settle down on the way to Atlanta, she was calling the whole thing off and taking her family home. It was going to be a long flight for them all but especially Liam. She couldn't stand the thoughts of him being upset the entire time.

Piper looked over at Alex with a worried look on her face. "What if he cries like this the whole time Alex? I know he's tired but this is all new for him and I'm sure he's stressed out. Its times like this I wished I still breast fed him. Remember how he would calm instantly when I would feed him?"

Shrugging a shoulder, Alex said "So give it to him."

"Give it to him? Alex it doesn't work like that. Besides, look where we are." Piper said

"I don't mean literally Pipes. Unbutton your shirt, move your bra cup and lay him against the swell of your boobs like we used to when he was in the NICU. It was good for him then, I can't imagine it would be any different now. Here, I brought a jacket, put this over you. Go on Pipes, try it." Alex told her as she stood up to get her jacket out of the overhead.

Piper started up at her for a minute before she started unbuttoning her shirt. Alex sat down and gently draped her jacket over Liam and Piper so no one could see when Piper pulled her bra out of the way. Piper pushed Liam to her and rocked back and forth with him. He fought and cried for a few minutes but Piper held him to her and softly murmured to him. Slowly, his cries got quieter and he started to relax. Smiling over at Alex, Piper started to relax too. Alex gave her a smirk and put her hand over on her leg. She settled in and closed her eyes. "You might have to comfort me like that Pipes. You know how I hate to fly."

Piper barked out a laugh and lightly slapped the hand resting on her thigh. "If I remember correctly, it was you that did a whole lot of comforting when we flew. Remember when we were flying back to Europe? I was cuddled up under a blanket and…" Piper leaned in to whisper the last part in Alex's ear. "…you pulled me over into your lap, blanket and all, and you slowly fucked me over…and over…and over"

Alex's eyes popped open and she let out a strangled sound. "Jesus Pipes…"

Piper laughed and settled back into her own seat and waited for takeoff. Liam had fallen asleep and she was hoping he would stay that way the entire flight. Shortly into the flight, Alex leaned over and whispered into her ear. Her words caused her ears to turn red and her mind started to race with memories. For the remainder of the flight, she and Alex traded stories, each trying to one up the other with their memories of making love. When they landed in Atlanta, Alex looked at Piper and said "I fucked you in front of everyone at Pete's birthday party three years ago. They all pretended like they didn't know what was happening but they so did Pipes. I win."

"Did you just throw a challenge at me Al? Cause you know how competitive I can be." Piper raised her eyebrow and pursed her lips.

Alex leaned over and kissed her. "Game on, Kid. It's gonna be hard with Liam though. You're gonna have to be pretty fucking creative." Alex said, cocking her own eyebrow as she pushed her glasses up to the top of her head.

"Challenge accepted."

/

They had a little more than an hour's layover in Atlanta. Piper stood looking out the window watching the planes taxi in and out. Alex came up beside her and watched with her. Still facing the window Piper said "I always loved when we would fly into Atlanta. It's beautiful here. Remember when we had that long layover and we went out and explored? We barely made it back in time for our flight. You were pissed." Piper laughed softly to herself.

"I wasn't pissed. I was just…frustrated. You had like six hours and you took us down to the minute." Alex said to her.

"You were pissed Alex. You didn't talk to me the first two hours of our flight! And even then I had to make all sorts of promises to you!"

"Which, you never came through with if I remember correctly." Alex teased.

"Oh bullshit! I did everything I was supposed to and then some!" Piper shot back

"Hmm I think I remember being promised breakfast in bed for a week. Never got that." Alex turned to her, her eyes dancing.

"I brought you breakfast in bed every day for more than a week!" Piper said turning towards Alex.

Alex slipped two fingers through the belt loop on Piper's pants and pulled her closer. "Not the breakfast I wanted, Kid." Piper knew all too well the kind of breakfast Alex liked. She stared up at her and felt herself getting lost in her eyes. Alex stared back just as hard. Bending fast, she kissed Piper and said "You blinked, I win."

Piper laughed. "Let's come back and spend some time here Al. Like, maybe in a couple years when Liam's older we can come back and take him to the aquarium and the zoo. The Coca Cola plant is here and they do tours. And I think I remember there being this really cool interactive children's museum near the aquarium and Coke plant. Maybe we could even take him to a baseball game." Piper said, her voice growing in excitement the more she named off.

"We are not taking him to a baseball game here. Do you know whose hometown this is? The Braves. My mother would turn over in her grave! The only way we will ever take our son to a Braves game is if they are playing the Yankees. You really want to take a two or three year old to a baseball game Pipes?"

"Why not? I want to do all sorts of things with him. Things our parents never did with us. Baseball games, football games, vacations, amusement parks, the library, toy stores, dinners at home together, family pictures for more than just the yearly Christmas card…I want to give him memories he can look back on and smile." Piper said.

Alex smiled down at her. She looked over at Liam and rubbed the back of his head. "Then that's what we will do babe."


	25. Chapter 25

_**Chapter 25**_

Liam did okay on the flight to Korea. He had his moments during takeoff and landing but for the most part, he was really good. Alex and Piper took turns holding him against their chest when he would get too fussy and that usually calmed him enough that they could get him to sleep or feed him. When they finally landed in Seoul, Alex couldn't quite remember why she used to love flying so much. Her body ached and was stiff, she was tired and she was sick of being around so many people all the time. One more flight and she could spend two weeks seeing no one but Liam and Piper. She checked her watch and tallied up the hours. They had about five more hours before reaching Cambodia, then about an hour train ride. She could do it.

"Babe, can you take him? I need to run to the restroom and I'm starving. They don't feed you like they used to on flights. What was that mess?" Alex said

"Prison food. That's exactly what that was. I even looked around for Red when they sat it in front of us. Will you grab me something? Hurry though, we only have an hour."

"Sure, I'll be right back." Alex said backing away from her.

Alex headed off and Piper found a seat near their gate. Settling Liam on her lap, she reached in his bag and pulled out a jar of food for him. His eyes lit up and he started reaching for it and grunting. Laughing, Piper held the container out of his reach while she dug around for a spoon and bib. Finding them, she sat the food to the side and got Liam ready to eat. Placing the first bite in his mouth, he made a face and spit it back out. "I know baby, not your favorite but you gotta eat your greens too. Mommy hated greens for a long time. You'll learn to like them too. Come on, open up." She shoved another bite in his mouth. He still made a face but this time he gummed it a little before swallowing and opening his mouth again for more. "Decided you were hungry enough for it, huh?"

Liam had finished his jar of food and was drinking from his sippy cup before Alex made it back. "Sorry. This place is packed! I've got noodles in a teriyaki sauce and spicy shrimp and rice. You're choice."

"I don't care, just give me one." Piper said, sitting Liam in the seat between her and Alex. Alex handed her a plate and Piper dug in. Closing her eyes, she savored the first bite. "Mmmm…I don't care where you get it in the states, it never compares to getting it here. Even if it is airport food."

Alex agreed and ate her plate of food. As she was finishing up, they called for their plane to board. Gathering up their trash, Alex went to throw it all away while Piper gathered Liam's stuff up. Once boarded Alex took Liam from Piper again. "Here, I'll take him this flight. You look really tired, lean over on me and try to get some sleep. We should be there in about four hours or so."

Piper kissed her on the shoulder and put her head in the same place. Alex adjusted Liam and started patting his back. He squirmed and popped his head up every time someone passed by them, jabbering to some of them and staring at others. Alex laughed to herself and continued patting his back. As soon as people stopped coming by, he put his head on her chest and got still. Alex felt him yawn against her and slowed the pats into soothing rubbing motions. Taking his blanket, she tucked it close to his face and lay her head over on top of Piper's. All three of them were asleep before the plane took off.

/

Arriving in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, they went through customs and went to find the front of the airport. Remembering her limited Khmer, Alex spoke with a gentleman out front and he pointed them in the direction of the train station. On their way there, they passed by Phsar Thmei, the central market. Piper remembered visiting the yellow colored market and how it was teeming with stalls, all selling things like jewelry of gold and silver, antique coins, clothes, foods and flowers. Smiling at the memory, she looked behind her and saw the Vattance Capital Tower. It was still under construction when she and Alex were last here. It was now the tallest building in Phnom Penh and was truly beautiful, rising above the city like a watchman.

The city was busier than it had been all those years before but once they left the middle of the city, she caught glimpses of the Mekong River. The sun reflected off of it, creating a diamond like shimmering effect. It made Piper think of an afternoon she and Alex had spent on the opposite banks of the river. They'd picked up lunch from the market and walked out of the city. They took their time walking along the river, holding hands and kissing and touching constantly. There was a foot bridge that Alex drug them across and once on the other side, she walked into the trees a little ways before laying her jacket down and placing Piper on it. She made love to Piper slowly. The sounds of their love making mingled with the sounds of the water lapping against the shore, the distant sounds of traffic and the birds singing. By the time they were finished with each other their food had grown cold but neither of them cared.

Sighing, she rested her head against Alex and continued staring out the window. She also remembered the fights they had while here. Alex was working pretty much nonstop by then and Piper was incredibly lonely. Sometimes it seemed like the only time she saw Alex was when they were fighting or fucking. She and Alex would yell and scream at each other about stupid things, never the real issues. Then they would fall into bed and exhaust each other. Piper would fall asleep in her arms and hope she would still find herself there when she woke up in the morning. She never did. Alex was always gone and a note rested in her place. That was towards the end of their time in Cambodia. Piper closed her eyes against the memories and put her arm through Alex's, holding tight.

"You alright Kid?" Alex asked, placing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Yeah, just remembering things." Piper said quietly.

/

The train ride was uneventful and they quickly found themselves standing on Ekareach Street, the main street in Sihanoukville. It ran from down near the port up through the town center and on to the train station. Alex looked around her and said "Well, should we try to get someone to take us down to Otres or should we take our chances with a Tuk-Tuk?"

"There is no way in hell we are riding in a Tuk-Tuk with Liam. Find someone Alex. I thought you had all this planned out and set up? It's hot and sticky. I am disgusting, I am tired, I'm hungry again and I've really got to pee. Find someone." Piper said.

"Hey, hey, easy there. I do have it all figured out. I just forgot there's no real public transportation in this town. You stay put, I'll go find someone." Alex pecked her on the cheek and went off to find someone who would be willing to take them down to the shore.

She came back about 20 minutes later with an old woman trailing after her. She wore a Krama and had deep lines on her face. Her hands were gnarled and when she smiled Piper could only see four teeth. Wiry gray hair stuck out in all directions from her head, making her look like a witch. Piper's eyes got big and she looked at Alex. "THIS is who you found to take us? No way. You're crazy! She can't even hold onto a steering wheel Alex!" The old woman looked at Piper and said something. Piper looked at her and the old woman cackled and said it again.

"Relax babe. Her son is going to drive us. She followed me here when I came back to get you. I don't know, just go with it. You remember how the locals are sometimes." Alex said, taking Piper by the hand. With the other hand, she started throwing bags over her shoulders and picked up a suitcase. Piper followed suit and set off down the street following the old woman.

The car ride turned out to be like a roller coaster ride and Piper thanked her lucky starts time and again they had remembered to check Liam's car seat. They would fly down the road then grind to a halt only to take off at full speed again, throwing everyone against their seats. Liam laughed every time they did it but Alex and Piper held on tight. When Otres Beach came into view, they both let out a breath. Alex told the driver in broken Khmer which villa should be theirs and he skidded to a halt in front of it. Throwing his door open, he ran around to the trunk and started dropping their bags into the sand. Slamming the trunk shut, he went up to Alex and rattled off something quickly, holding out his hand. Alex blinked as she tried to process what he said. Shaking her head, she pulled out some riel and handed it over. He waved, jumped in his car and sped off into the afternoon.

Alex turned to Piper. "Well, here we are. I didn't think we would ever get here."

"Me either. Really Alex, we have to figure out a better plan for going back into town. That was not cool." Piper said.

Laughing, Alex picked up some of their stuff and made her way to the villa. Opening the door, she stepped in and found a nicely furnished common area with a crib waiting in the corner. Smirking, she turned to Piper and said "See? There it is babe. Liam has a crib." She sat the stuff in her hands down and went out to get the rest of their stuff. Coming back in and putting the remainder of their things down, she walked through to the bedroom. Piper was standing at the sliding glass door looking out. She came up behind her and slid her arms around her and Liam.

Their view was amazing. White sandy beaches, a few trees swaying with the breeze coming in from the indigo waters. White capped waves peaked and crashed in the distance. Off their room was a fire pit with two chairs and a lounge surrounding it. Piper leaned back into Alex. "As much as I want to be out there, I want a shower even more. Will you watch him while I jump in?" Piper asked.

"Of course. Come here Little Man. Wanna go for a walk?" Alex said, taking Liam.

"Alex, don't you take him down to the beach without me! I want us all to be together the first time he sees it." Piper said, rushing back over to them.

"I'm not. Go take your shower woman. I want one too and I'm sure Liam would appreciate a bath soon." Alex told her.

Alex and Liam were back inside when Piper was done. Crossing to the bed, she sat down. "You're turn." She said.

Alex jumped up and went to the bathroom. She washed quickly and got out, rinsing the tub so she could fill it for Liam's bath. When she had a little bit of water in the tub, she called out for Piper to bring Liam in. Piper brought him in there and took his diaper off before handing him to Alex. As soon as she sat him in the water, he started kicking and splashing and giggling. He loved his baths just as much as Piper did. It was always an adventure with him in the bath. Especially now that he was pulling up and standing. Piper was terrified he was going to fall and get hurt while Alex encouraged him to take another step this way and that.

When they finished his bath, Piper made him a bottle and propped him on the pillows. Grabbing his foot and swinging it up and down, he looked around the room while he drank it. Alex laid down on her side next to him and Piper laid on her stomach on the other side. Before Liam was finished his eyes started to droop. Alex took the bottle from him and gave him his blanket. He pulled it up to his face and was asleep in no time. Looking over at Piper, Alex saw that she was sleeping as well. With her arm across Liam and her hand on Piper's ass, Alex put her head in the crook of her arm and quickly followed them into sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26**_

Alex woke up alone in the bed. Stretching, she looked around the room and could tell by the way the light the sun was close to setting. "Shit, wasted a whole day sleeping" she grumbled to herself as she rolled out of bed. She went out into the common area and found Piper sitting in the floor with Liam. Smiling to herself, she went over and joined them. Sitting behind Liam, she leaned over and kissed him on the head. He turned to look up at her and smiled. Pulling himself over to her, he wiggled his way into her lap and started pointing and babbling.

"I see that Little Man. Have you and Mommy been playing hard? It looks like all the favorites have made their way out of the bag. What have you been playing? Huh?" Alex said as she stood him up in her lap. She leaned in and blew a raspberry on the side of his neck and he dissolved into giggles. Laughing, Alex did it again, this time picking him up and blowing one on his belly. Liam screeched and grabbed a handful of her hair. Alex was laughing in earnest now. "I love you Little Man. You are the best thing to wake up to."

Sitting him back down in her lap, she looked over at Piper. The look she saw on her face nearly took her breath away. "What is it Kid?"

"I just love watching you with him. It's…beautiful. I always knew you would love him and you would be an amazing mother, but this…you with him…what I imagined doesn't even come close. I think I fall a little more in love with you every time I see you holding him Al." Piper said, sitting up and scooting closer to Alex.

Alex leaned in and kissed Piper softly. She lingered on her lips then pulled away and placed her forehead against Piper's. "You two complete me in ways I never imagined possible. Before I couldn't imagine a life with him, it scared me. But now I can't imagine a life without him. It terrifies me Pipes."

"I know baby…" Piper tucked a strand of hair behind Alex's ear and cupped the side of her face. She kissed her one more time before dropping her hand. "So you wanna take Liam down to the beach? I know it's getting late but I really want to see him down there playing in the water and sand. I've been so excited all afternoon I nearly woke you up three times!"

"Why didn't you Kid? Let's get changed and go! I can't wait to see him down there either!" Alex said, standing up and helping Piper to her feet. She bent and picked Liam up and took him with them to the bedroom to get ready.

/

The setting sun cast a golden glow over everything. Its light reflected off the indigo waters, making it look like a fire blazing out on the horizon. The wind blew gently and the spray from the waves landed softly on their skin. Alex held Liam by the hands as he giggled and babbled while digging his toes into the sand. Piper stood the side taking pictures of them. She wanted to remember this moment for the rest of her life. Liam, happily playing while keeping a firm grip on Alex's fingers. Alex looking as though she was seeing the world for the first time. She glowed with happiness and wonder. Liam looked up at Alex as Alex looked down on him. He had one little foot raised in the air and he was smiling. Piper snapped the picture. Perfect.

Every time the water would rush over Liam's feet he would pick one or both feet up and squeal. Alex couldn't help but laugh at him. She felt love for him blooming in her chest all over again. Each moment with him was something new for her. His innocence gave her glimpses of the world she failed to see before. He tried to sit and she let him, sitting down beside him in the wet sand. He instantly grabbed two handfuls of sand and went to put them in his mouth. Alex made a noise in her throat and pulled his hands away from his mouth. He looked up at her and seemed to understand. He sighed and picked up more sand and flung it.

Alex smiled down at him then looked over at Piper. Her breath stilled in her throat. The wind was blowing a lock of hair across her cheek. The sunset throwing her face into shadows. Her hip cocked just so to the side. Her arms resting easily at her sides. A smile playing at her lips and love shining in her eyes. Alex cocked her head to the side, beckoning her to her. Piper walked over and sat down behind her, pulling her back against her. She rested her chin on Alex's shoulder. Alex picked Liam up, placing him between her legs. With one hand on Liam and the other on the underside of Piper's thigh, Alex sighed in content. Together, they watched as the last little bit of the sun dipped into the water. Piper kissed Alex on the back of the neck and whispered "I heart you".

/

That night after they finally had Liam down, Alex went out and built a fire in the fire pit. Piper brought out a bottle of wine and poured them both a glass. Alex sat on the lounge and motioned for Piper to join her. Once they were both settled and comfortable Piper began to quietly tell Alex how much she loved her and their life together. Alex listened while she rubbed a lazy pattern up and down her arm. Sparks rose from the flames and danced off into the night. The fire created shadows that danced across everything. Alex leaned her head back and closed her eyes, listening to the rise and fall of Piper's voice, feeling the weight of her body against hers. Piper was always the more affectionate of the two; her words flowed easier. Alex never tired of hearing them though.

She felt Piper's lips against her neck and smiled. "What are you doing Kid?" she asked.

"I want to make love to you out here Al. Under the stars with the sound of the ocean surrounding us…like we used to." Piper whispered against her skin.

Alex shivered and ran her hands up Piper's neck and into her hair. She brought her head down and captured her mouth in a kiss full of passion and desire. She shifted and pulled Piper more fully on top of her. Piper adjusted her weight and settled against her. Piper licked at Alex's lower lip, seeking entrance. Alex slowly opened for her and Piper slid her tongue in. Alex groaned; Piper moaned. They lay like that for the longest time, just kissing and getting lost in each other's sighs and whimpers of pleasure.

Piper slowly undressed Alex. She kissed every inch of skin as she uncovered it, treating Alex as though she were a gift she had just received. Alex felt tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. She'd never known love like Piper's love for her and tonight she felt it rushing from Piper's lips into her very pours. She ran her hand down the back of Piper's head and across her shoulder. Running her finger down her arm, she found her hand and linked her fingers with Piper's. She felt Piper at her center and arched, gripping Piper's hand. With the fire light dancing across their skin, the stars twinkling overhead and Alex's cries floating away on the breeze, Piper showed Alex how much she loved her over and over.


End file.
